Do you want America to fall behind in the race to build the torment nexus? Do you???
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Yes please!
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Indeed, you’d have to be Rich to think something as asinine and utterly without empathy as that.
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I had someone argue with me yesterday that the reason so many dems stayed home in Illinois was because we were being invaded over our borders. We’re 1600 miles from the Mexican border and 800 from Canada. Our biggest immigrants are from Indiana and Wisconsin, and while some have questionable ideas - especially around cheese - I feel we should be welcoming them.
And it’s also interesting that these people who complain about immigrants in my state are almost always from deep downstate, where the only immigrants they see are generally a few people working in our massive farms.
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Really? Public shaming and jokes on late night TV are punishment enough for this litany of crimes? Fingers crossed that Trump doesn’t pardon this guy.
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After he’s served half his sentence, he can run for President. I haven’t heard any better ideas put forward on a candidate.
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Well he was Dem, i.e., a commie, so not likely.
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He was a fellow grifter, which transcends party affiliation in Trump’s eyes. That’s why Trump has been publicly floating the idea of pardoning Eric Adams. Plus he commuted the sentence of Governor Rod Blagojevich during his first term, so he’s already shown a soft spot for corrupt politicians of the other party
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Adams has been kissing up to Trump though. Has Menendez?
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Linked in the quote above:
ETA: No explicit mention of sucking up, but if his people are going to TFG’s people seeking a pardon, there has to be. Everyone knows how TFG operates.
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A few stray bars of Egyptian gold ensures a lot of across-the-aisle good will from Donny, I should think.
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Thanks to the fact that his wife is crooked too, he won’t have to report to prison until June. The judge wanted him to be able to attend her trial. That’s more generous than I would have been. Any day this guy spends walking free between now and the day he dies is an undeserved gift. He already got to walk free after that hung jury in a completely separate trial in 2017.
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And Sen. Warren…
And Sen. Warnock (who i’m still pissed off at)…
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Tap here for comic relief!
This was supposed to be his moment of redemption, his big I’m-not-actually-insane speech. Instead, it turned into a political demolition derby featuring protesters screaming that he was a liar and a killer, Bernie Sanders interrogating him about baby clothes, Elizabeth Warren asking if he planned to run HHS like a side hustle, and a surreal moment where Kennedy had to confirm that he probably said Lyme disease was a military bioweapon. By the end of the day, Capitol Police had forcibly removed more people from the chamber than a dive bar on St. Patrick’s Day.
Kennedy barely got through his opening statement before a woman exploded from the gallery like a jack-in-the-box filled with rage and science degrees.
“YOU LIE!” she screamed, holding up a sign that read VACCINES SAVE LIVES before being swiftly tackled and dragged out by Capitol Police.
Kennedy blinked rapidly, which is how you know he was hearing the voice of the worm that used to live in his brain whispering, Abort mission, Bobby. Abort mission.
A brief moment of peace settled over the room, and then it happened again.
“YOU’RE KILLING PEOPLE!” another protester howled, launching into a full-body rage spiral before security carried her out, legs kicking, like a screaming suitcase with opinions.
Kennedy took a deep breath and tried to regain his footing, but Senator Ron Wyden had been waiting for this moment like a prosecutor with a personal vendetta.
“Are you lying to us, Mr. Kennedy?” Wyden snapped, staring daggers at him.
Kennedy forced a nervous smile, but it came out looking like he’d just been told he had to fight a horse for a parking spot.
“That claim has been repeatedly debunked,” he said, attempting to sound reasonable despite an entire room full of people who were watching YouTube compilations of him saying the exact opposite.
Wyden wasn’t buying it.
“You signed a petition to restrict access to the COVID vaccine. Did you or did you not?”
Kennedy mumbled something about the petition being “misrepresented” as the air in the room thickened with sweat, bad decisions, and organic supplements.
Wyden was gearing up for a finishing blow when another protester detonated like a landmine.
“YOU’RE A FRAUD!” she shrieked as security dragged her away in a full-body lock.
Even the cops looked exhausted now.
Then came Bernie Sanders, a man who has not been in the mood for nonsense since 1972.
“Are you supportive of these baby onesies?” he demanded.
The room froze.
Kennedy’s brain crashed like a Windows 98 PC.
“Excuse me?”
Sanders lifted a printed-out photo of a baby bodysuit covered in anti-vaccine slogans.
“These are being sold by the Children’s Health Defense, the organization you founded.”
Kennedy looked like he had just accidentally eaten a ghost pepper and was trying to play it cool.
“I—I don’t have oversight over that organization anymore,” he mumbled.
Sanders cracked his knuckles like a man ready to fistfight a CEO and leaned in.
“Are you supportive of these onesies?”
Kennedy started sweating through his suit.
Laughter rippled through the room. A Republican senator actually covered his face.
Kennedy, now looking desperate for a fire alarm to pull, tried to pivot to his real passion: banning corn syrup.
Sanders wasn’t having it.
Then Elizabeth Warren took the mic, radiating pure prosecutorial energy.
“Will you commit to not taking money from pharmaceutical companies while serving as Secretary of Health?” she asked, in the tone of a woman who already knew the answer but was going to enjoy watching him squirm.
Kennedy grinned like a dog that just chewed up your furniture and is hoping you’ll laugh it off.
“I don’t think they’d want to give me money,” he chuckled.
Warren did not chuckle.
“Will you commit to not profiting from lawsuits against pharmaceutical companies while serving as HHS Secretary?”
Kennedy froze.
The color drained from his face.
“You’re asking me not to sue drug companies?” he said, voice rising.
“No, I’m not going to agree to that.”
Warren’s eyes gleamed like a hawk spotting a wounded rabbit.
“So you’ll be suing the same companies you’re supposed to regulate?”
Kennedy looked like he wanted to melt into his chair.
Then came Michael Bennet, a man who had been waiting patiently to drop a grenade into Kennedy’s lap.
"Did you say that Lyme disease was a militarily engineered bioweapon?” Bennet asked, deadpan.
Kennedy hesitated.
“I probably said that.”
The audience gasped.
Bennet cocked an eyebrow.
“Did you say that pesticides turn children transgender?”
Kennedy turned bone white.
“I don’t recall saying that.”
Bennet’s lip twitched.
“But you do recall saying Lyme disease was a bioweapon?”
Kennedy looked like he had been hit by a tranquilizer dart.
Even the Republican senators were staring at their desks, avoiding eye contact.
The hearing finally adjourned, but Kennedy is not in the clear yet.
His next grilling is scheduled for tomorrow, and there’s no telling how much worse it can get.
His opponents smell blood. His supporters are already crafting conspiracy theories about the deep state.
And if the vote ends in a deadlock, Vice President JD Vance will cast the deciding vote.
Yes, JD Vance—the political equivalent of a wet cardboard box—will determine if a man once partially controlled by a brain parasite will run America’s health system.
The nation waits in suspense. Pass the whiskey.
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