Game of Thrones, final season discussion ☠ SPOILERS WITHIN ☠

I think that was just a pretty thankless slot. They always start with new and exciting things and then they spend a few episodes moving the pieces into place for the big events of the season.

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Not exciting? What about the naval battle in which Yara’s forces are defeated, the Sand Snakes are killed, and thus Daenerys’ strategy is screwed up? Is Yara the one hanging from the bowsprit in the final scene?

Hot Pie: “I’m a survivor.” He’s fucked.

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I forgot about that scene (the whole episode flew by for me). It did have a lot of action. But it seemed clear they were going to just get completely slaughtered. So I wasn’t excitedly rooting in the naval battle, just sadly waiting to see how bad the damage was. They didn’t show her face clearly but my impression was that that was supposed to be her. I hope it isn’t.

Sadly yes.

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[spoiler]I Think that Yara was captured, along with Ellaria and her remaining daughter. Euron likely would have killed Yara in front of Theon, given the chance. I believe the woman hanging from the bowspirit is one of the killed Sand Snakes, along with the other on the bow.

My hope is that this is simply the last time we see Hot Pie. Either way, I thought it was nice to get an update.[/spoiler]

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When they resurrected Jon, they confirmed everybody’s suspicions. They didn’t have to do that.

Killing him off and leaving him dead was their best opportunity to subvert our expectations.

We know where this train is going. GRR Martin is just not that sneaky.

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Honestly, since Nymeria showed up, there was no way this episode could disappoint me.

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It felt like there was nothing really riding on that battle. Yara and the sand snakes have been essentially two dimensional since they were sent on their mission to… I’ve forgotten where they were even going, that’s how little the arc was developed. If the battle had happened after a little more journeying and character development, it might have been tense but as it was, meh.

Pirate Romeo, on the other hand, had plot armour that makes The Frankenmountain look like a welterweight. As soon as the big ship started boarding Yara’s tiny, completely overwhelmed forces, there was no other outcome possible apart from Sand Snakes all die (finally! I hated their awful accents), the queen of Dorne gets taken, to be presented to Cersei (whose cruelty in revenge will cause large swathes of her allies to defect to the other side; given Jaime’s history with previous mad monarchs, this might also be the thing that undoes him too), Theon turns back into Reek and Yara dies or is captured. The only surprise in the whole scene was that they let both Yara and Theon live, thereby setting up a heroic rescue and making the siblings “even”.

So: Pirate Romeo takes the Dorne queen to Cersei, who marries him in return. Jaime is overcome by jealousy, and Cersei’s cruel execution (and probable torture) of the queen of Dorne is her undoing. So far, so… Not the kind of unpredictable, chaotic writing that I have come to expect from GRRM. Feels less like GoT and more like every other show on TV.

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Oh, shit; I forgot about Dany’s prophetic vision from the start of the show. Burnt, ruined throne room, snow falling in from the roof, anyone?

So yeh, losing the Dornish and Greyjoy armies means that she has no choice but to attack Kings Landing with her dragons. Thousands die, she loses at least one dragon and her legitimacy, can no longer defeat the white walkers when winter comes, show ends with Old Iceybollocks Blue Eyes the White Walker King sitting on the throne, having reclaimed his rightful kingdom.

Slow panning shot showing the cast as zombies as the camera pulls out of the hole in the roof of the throne room, resurrected ice dragon squawks at the camera and scene. Game of Thrones’ “shocking” season 8 finale: you read it here first.

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After all the crap she’s been through, it’s hard to imagine Cersei sharing the throne with anyone else ever again, much less with Cartoon Psycho Clown Boy.

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Pondering: I wonder what the White Walker King would do in his free time after exterminating all humans?

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Just chill, I’d imagine.

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That made me chuckle.

I always wonder things like that. Whether it’s this guy sitting on his uncomfortable-looking chair in outer space:

or just your garden-variety boogeyman, whiling away the hours in some kid’s closet or under the bed, waiting for nightfall… what does one do with oneself once the villainy has been accomplished?

I guess things that just wanna eat ya will be temporarily full, belch, sleep it off, then wander away in search of the next evening’s prey. But your megalomaniac conquering overlords, once the thrones of skulls have been polished, the hellhounds fed, the countryside burned flat and frozen over, and the entire citizenry transformed into one’s personal zombie army…

Well, what does one do then? Start a victory garden? Pen one’s memoirs? Tour the outer provinces? Take a spouse and start a family of wee wightlings?

Go sledding?

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Needlepoint

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There was that episode of Powerpuff Girls which covered just that. Mojo Jojo does take over the world, and proves to be a benevolent dictator and very competent ruler.

Well, for a while.

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Yes, exactly what you said. :slight_smile:

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I mean, it’s implicit from the picture I posted that at some point Thanos decided to put on that goofy golden armor with its natty little helmet (is it the only set of armor he owns? What closet does he keep it in?) and climb aboard that jetpack throne (from where?) and start a day of floating around the firmament, contemplating how to collect pretty colored rocks to slaughter enough lifeforms to impress his would-be girlfriend Death, who’s Just Not That Into Him. What does he do to while away the time? How does he amuse himself? He apparently needs armor. And armrests. Looks like he could use a 3DS or at least a GameBoy. And I don’t think that armor is equipped with a fly.

More on-topic, I don’t imagine the Night King will really find all that much to amuse him once he’s conquered Dorne. But I also wonder what the hell is the holdup. First scene of the series (and the first book, too) has people getting killed by wights and white walkers north of the Wall. Winter’s a-comin’. Well here it is now, years later. Bran Stark’s a foot taller. Lots of people have been born and died. Jon Snow and Samwell Tarly went to the Wall, went up to the Fist of the First Men, saw some wights, went back to the Wall, Jon went up to Hardhome, saw the Night King and much of his army, went back to the Wall, and then went to Winterfell while Sam went all the way down to Oldtown. And the Night King is still moseying on down to the Wall.

Look, they’re White Walkers, not Night Crawlers. Far as I can tell, they don’t stop to make camp. They don’t take bathroom breaks. They don’t pause for a quick game of football with a severed skull. They just march. Suppose they marched rrrreeeaaallllyyyy slowly. A whopping one mile per hour. And only for ten hours a day, leaving some spare time for some reaving and murdering along the way, plus naps and sledding and skull football. And needlepoint.

So that’s ten miles a day. In a single year they could cross a sizable continent. Seriously, San Diego to Portland, Maine, is only 3,100 miles.

What the hell are they doing up there?

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It is an important point that we don’t really know what they are up to in general. That’s especially true in the books. In the show we have a bit more first hand information and a little less room for mystery. Nonetheless we don’t know much about their agenda. They kill people north of the Wall. They appear to herd the wildlings south. Both readers and characters assume that they intend to invade the Seven Kingdoms. Admittedly, externally that makes a lot of sense. Internally we have only the assumptions of characters who spend most of the books getting things wrong. Are they this purely evil race bent on bringing cold and darkness and killing all humans - something GRRM specifically said he didn’t like? Do they have more interesting motivations and plans?

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The problem with killing all the people is there’s no-one to ask directions from when you inevitably get lost.

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God I hope so.

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