To clarify, for those who have already PMed me images, I am not interested on how one gets mooned.
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A rolls royce get driven into your swimming pool.
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In the top post, I hotlinked all the AMAs that are completed so they are easy to find in case you want to go back to review.
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The reins of this thread have been passed over to the far more organized and paying-attention-person @ChickieD. I’m just here to ask silly questions.
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Thanks - except I keep screwing up open and close times. But let’s usher out @nothingfuture and welcome in our next player @William_George!!!
William, let’s begin (a little late, sorry!)
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What is your job and
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What is one skill (other than the actual skill you get paid for) that is indispensable to your work?
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I am an ESL Edutainer in East Asia. Japan and South Korea specifically. (Taiwan didn’t work out but I got a nice tan that month.) Currently I’m in Korea but I’m leaving in November for good. Just like the previous five times I left for good.
Under romantic mood lighting it looks like I’m teaching, but my job is primarily keeping asses in seats so the boss can pay for his mistress. The actual teacher is upthread. I am a foreign prop.
The most important skill one should have in this job is the ability to take your usually justified anger and crush it into a tiny ball and swallow it.
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Do you find these tiny balls of anger become aggregate in your belly, and if so, do you find this blackened part of your soul useful to push against when you do rage against the world? Like, is it good footing?
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What initially attracted you to this kind of work, in these places?
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How well does it pay? Who pays the tuition for your students, and what’s that like?
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WARNING! TEXT WALL AHOY!
It gave me a hiatal hernia and constant bowel trouble. On the other hand, it also kept me employed.
Back when I was a teen in the late 80s I hit the life of the weeaboo pretty hard so going to Japan was always a thing I wanted to do. But being chronically underemployed in an eternally economically depressed province of Canada meant that that dream was impossible to realize. One day in 1998 after a 14 hour shift stuffing fliers into newspapers I decided to go to university.
Once I got out of that the bill came in from the government for the student loans and here I was still in a poor province where there were no jobs and me having n way to finance a move across Canada. A Korean Canadian friend had just gotten a job as the Canadian end of a recruiting company and I was ripe for the picking.
Also, there was a woman. We were together for five years so I guess that choice turned out to be the right one.
If I give you a flat in-Canadian-dollars estimate of my salary you’d be well right to gasp at a middle-aged man earning similarly to a kid in a clothing store. The big difference is that the cost of living in this part of the world… even in Seoul and even in Japan… is far lower than back in Canada. While here in Korea the boss footing the bill for the housing is a huge draw even in Japan, where I had to pay my own way, I was taking about 2/3 of my monthly salary home as fun times money.
However, if you have a family of four to feed this isn’t going to be enough. You will be in a better position than your equal back home. For example, my total monthly bills last winter were CAD$40 on average. Maybe about $20 in the summer if I had the air conditioner running non stop. Those would be triple digits back home. The married expats here tend to supplement their salaries with private tutoring. That’s where the big bucks are. (It’s legal for someone on a spousal visa but for me it isn’t. That doesn’t stop others on the same visa. Under the table tutoring is a pretty big market here. Especially in Seoul.)
The kids parents pay their tuition. Adults can sometimes get their company to pay for theirs. The amount can vary depending upon neighborhood and brand name of the hagwon/ eikaiwa/ buxiban. My current job is contracted to elementary schools and we usually deal with the poorer kids so the tuition is relatively low. Last I looked it was something like $80/mo.
Last I worked in a hagwon in Seoul and got to peek at the fees it was closer to $260/mo, and that was in one of the less affluent neighbourhoods back in 2006.
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Author Richard Morgan has often said that the heavy violence in his science fiction novels (such as Altered Carbon) are the result of his years as an ESL Teacher in interviews.
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Thankfully the parents have been mostly groovy and cool. Or they’ve lacked the English skills to speak to me.
The inappropriateness has come from these sources: Teen girls, random drunken businessmen, Korean friends, and my employers.
Teen girls tend to be very aware that a woman’s main social currency here is in how much they appeal to men and they can express that in really inappropriate ways. “Do you think I’m pretty?” and any variation on that. They’re looking for that confidence boost but I’m wrong person to get that from.
Short Drunken Businessman in Seoul Story:
I’m strolling back to my apartment in Suyu-dong and the stumbling fellow going in the other direction saw me and shouted hello. Being stupidly Canadian at the wrong times I said hi back and shook his extended hand. He told me his life history involving studying English in America. Smiling politely I managed to free my hand that he was shaking the entire time. He then asked, “Do you like Korean girls?”
My first thought was that he was about to invite me to the “massage” place in the basement of my apartment building. Then he said, “My wife really likes foreigners.”
While my mind was racing for a good excuse to escape he pulls out his flip phone and shows me her picture. A lovely lady indeed. He then dials her and tells her, “Honey! I have a foreign man here!” I’m then handed the phone and we have a polite thirty second conversation when it’s obvious she wasn’t having any of his shit that night. Handing it back I bowed my farewell and took off into the dark while she was berating him.
About the others:
- Japanese boss told me that I should have babies with Japanese women because “hafu” as they’re called there, are so pretty. She then suggest that I date my partner teacher. My boss was in her her 70s and had some severe empty house syndrome. Lovely lady normally.
- Boss in Cheonan took me to a noraebar. For the curious: It’s like a noraebang / karaoke room except with hookers. Thankfully the machine broke and I noped the hell out of there. He would occasionally tell me he hated his wife and really wanted me to go to whoring with him.
- Korean friend called me up one night. Said he was with a woman who really wanted to have sex with a white man. “And she doesn’t care that you’re fat.” We totally naturally fell out of touch after that.
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Anything you’ve learned through this going to transfer to your next great adventure?
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I’ve never lived in a culture other than my own for an extended period of time. I’m curious if you’ve had any insights that surprised you - whether about yourself, your own culture, or the cultures that you’ve been immersed in…
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When you call yourself an ESL Edutainer, is that because they already know English or because they aren’t learning English? I’m interested in your role and why you don’t see yourself as a teacher.
I recently had a friend who returned and was thankful that their checks cleared the last two months they were there.
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More text wall ahead… I’ve added a picture of sexy P-Stu to make it easier to skim.
Lessee…Life is too short to be both stuck in a shitty job and to be stuck surrounded by shitty people and you should skip out of there as soon as you can.
And I’m actually a really simple guy who is satisfied with a roof over his head and food in his tummy and cars, houses, wide screen TVs, and all of the other trappings of modern society are for suckers.
Also, this;
You will fail in life. A lot. So it goes.
People dream, hope, fear, hate, laugh and cry the same everywhere. It’s the expression of these basic human things that are the only difference. Sometimes their expression runs counter to yours. Sometimes their expression of those things can bring a lot of negative consequences to you. While you’re both coming from the same core, understanding and sympathy can only go so far and conflict is inevitable. Thankfully most people want a fight less than you do and it’s only a special brand of loony that wishes to escalate.
That having been said, there are a lot of little things that I’d like to steal from this part of the world and force upon everyone back home. Japan knows how to have a poo and take a bath properly. Korea knows that you can trust adults to sit at a table with a fire in the middle of it. Taiwan knows that a little scooter is much better than a car.
Also: A centralized urban environment is far superior to a suburb.
And if I’m being perfectly honest about myself: Being here and getting to know actual Asian women burned all of my geekboy Cho Cho San fantasies out of my head. While a lot can be said about how women get by in this part of the world, it turned out they’re full human beings too and not just a bunch of pretty things that look good in small skirts.
Also… man, Asia made me realize that my people in Halifax are pretty criminal. Here I can stroll down the darkest of alleys without fear. Back home I can’t stand at a bus stop in broad daylight without worrying someone is going to throw something at me from their passing car just for the laughs.
ESL is a for-profit business. While you can find an employer who cares about education at the end of the day the boss wants the money.
This is very obvious in the hiring. If they wanted an actual teacher with a degree and experience they’d hire actual teachers at a competitive wage. Instead they seek out unemployed grads with loans to pay off that they pay minimum wage to. Yeah, they cast their lines into that sea of potential employees hoping they’ll net a natural born teacher, but they’re generally getting what they paid for: Someone inexperienced with kids, with no life experience, and no idea how to do what they’re being asked to do. Japan is slightly better than the rest of Asia because getting some training is the norm and not the exception. But they still run their businesses like it’s a McJob and not education.
Companies like Pagoda and Berlitz might stuff you into a suit for the look of a professional, you’re not. You’re a prop. Think of going into a Chinese restaurant. Imagine there’s not a single East Asian face on the staff. While you’re not racist, your expectations have been busted and you’re not going to really enjoy your sweet & sour pork. There’s nothing about sweet & sour pork that requires an Asian face, but people generally think Chinese food = Chinese chef.
It’s the same in ESL. Customers expect the white… and sometimes the black… rarely the Asian… face. The real education gets done by the Korean/Japanese/Chinese teacher because they’re the ones who can actually explain shit. The foreign prop can try hard but in the end it’s largely a wasted effort to educate in an environment where education wasn’t a concern when you got hired.
Like your friend, this can lead to a lot of abuse of authority over foreign staff. From getting lots of shit over not being able to do a job the boss has effectively made impossible to do, to not getting paid because they know you’re not going to stick around to fight them at that point.
This makes a lot of people bitter. They come in thinking they’re gonna be a teacher but instead they’re a dancing poodle and get treated like one. This stress more often than not gets taken out on the kids. And most of this kids, since they spend a significant amount of their lives in the company of adults who hate them, hate those adults in turn. So even if you come in meaning well, they’re simply going to treat you like crap because that’s all they know.
I’m not sure when I decided, “Fek it!” I think I was in Japan. First Christmas play where I was forced into a too small, can-see-the-circumcision, Santa costume. Despite the kids knowing it was me the second I spoke, they were still happy. Crap costume. Crap Santa. They were still enjoying themselves.
Now to me my ESL job is just a job. A way to finance the rest of my life. But I decided to approach the job with the mindset “Don’t make them hate you. Don’t make them go home hating foreigners. Dan’t make them hate learning. Don’t make their lives worse. Don’t make them into bad adults.”
Thus, edutainment. Keep it light, and hope some information sticks.
This isn’t to downplay the people who decide that they’re going to respond to an industry that undermines their employees and claimed goals by getting a degree and becoming actual teachers. But they also quickly move out of the for-profit gigs and into public schools, international schools, and universities. For them it has become a calling. That’s great. For me, it’s how I can afford a trip to Tokyo and all I can do is not make a poor situation worse for the students.
Also, Edutainment is a dope BDP record.
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How fluent were you in Japanese, Korean, and Chinese when you started? Did I read your previous responses correctly that you had a local co-teacher to translate?
What impressions did you get of what the locals think about westerners generally? (Other than that they find white men attractive. 
)
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I’m only slightly less shitty now. I can get through my life pretty well but if I can’t handle it on my own usually someone is willing to lend me a hand.
In Korea everyone has some degree of English skill so it’s waaaaaaaaay too easy to just bumble along with tourist Korean. And when a strange drunken businessman decides to talk to you, it’ll mostly be in English. When I do put in an effort to speak the local language people either respond with a torrent of syllables… Like getting hit in the face with a language fire hose… or they act like the dog just started talking.
Drunken Korean Businessman Story 2
Sitting on the number three line heading north a couple of older fellows who were obviously in the military together in their youth had parted with some ironic salutes. The one left behind started chatting with me. He wanted to tell me all about his time in Desert Storm. Everyone in the car was smirking at the poor foreigner stuck with the old drunk who can barely speak English. Then a college age fellow came over and asked if the old guy was bothering me. He was speaking with very good English.
“Oh, no. It’s cool. Thanks.”
I was kind of irritated by that. Here’s the thing: Old drunk man with poor language skills was more willing to talk to me than the dozen odd other people there who could understand me better. “Yay!” for him and “Screw you!” for them.
My big mistake with learning more Korean was the previously mentioned ex GF. Her English is almost fluent and so I became far too reliant on her to do the heavy language lifting. By the time we had broken up I was about a year away from having my fill of Korea and stomping out in a rage and going to Japan. When I came back the second time my plan was to live as a hermit saving my cash so relearning what little I knew was never on the table. Unfortunately, dad’s death and my need to go home kind of made the plans pointless. Because Canada is so expensive when my boss asked me to come back because my replacement turned out to be bug fuck crazy, I had to take it.
The hermit plan worked. The money plan didn’t. So it goes.
My biggest problem with Chinese was that I failed my course in university and I wasn’t in Taiwan long enough to pick much up. Though I did discover a place on Earth where a Big Mac is not called a Big Mac. That was embarrassing for everyone.
Japan… Japan is a place people have always gone to, not a place people leave from. The pressure to speak a second language is minimal for them. Like high school French back home. As an expat there you got to learn the language or your life will be horrid because no one can talk to you. And a lot of the signs tend to be only in Japanese. I never took any formal lessons but my co teachers were more than happy to tear apart all of the hard work I put into my kanji writing. I had gotten to the point where I could clumsily flirt but that was it.
Sadly being exotic can only take a guy so far. You need to be able to talk. That’s why a lot of expats get involved with dedicated ESL students instead of the other girls and boys here. But the fellows I know who have put in the effort to get conversational? Their Tinder swiping fingers are very fit.
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Do they poo magically differently or is this a discussion of musical heated toilets with bidets (which I fully support for a desire for a clean bum)?
I wish we could have onsens.
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