The Trans Experience

It’s kind of sad this topic is devolving into another ‘Today in Transphobia’, but I guess that’s the reality we’re in. The trans experience for me the last few years can be summed up as ‘elation at finally being myself coupled with growing terror at the political climate for trans people’.

On the other hand, I finally found another sapphic romance novel with a trans MC, so I’ll probably curl up with that for the evening.

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Ugh… yeah, it is… I’m sorry if I’ve contributed to that. Do we want to put clearer boundaries around it and have a transphobia specific thread? I do think it’s important to understand that the trans experience isn’t just about the struggles the trans community faces…

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Here’s some trans joy to share. I’m seeing “him” less and less these days and finally just seeing myself. “He” still makes an appearance every now and then, but it no longer drags me down like it did as little as a few months ago. Why can’t people just let me live in peace?

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This reminds me of facing “employee only” bathrooms as a kid when I had to go urgently due to Crohns. I still have vivid memories of those incidents. Now my symptoms are more under control but the last time was about 2010.

Fortunately I had a job that allowed me to go any time. And I felt much more comfortable telling people what was going on.

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You’re absolutely right! It’s far too easy to fall down that particular hole, especially right now.

So …

I had a date night with one of my partners last night. We usually have a weekly date, but life (and a few colds) have had that on pause for most of November. They’ve been on T now for a few months and there have been a few subtle changes, but I was delighted to see last night that they’re rocking a goatee. It’s short right now, but looks great and you can see it’s going to be even better as it grows out.

I love when we get to support each other’s changes!

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I think a specific thread for at-large transphobia would be better. Reserve this one for joyful news and personal experiences of transphobia.

I feel like our trans friends often have to deal with transphobia IRL and having the posts about rampant transphobia in the rest of the world in a separate place that y’all can ignore at need would be better. We should definitely be talking about it! Especially us cis people. But maybe not in this thread

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I did the same thing for the first year-ish of my transition.

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Some trans-sapphic romance novels…

The Dark Wife by S. E. Diemer,

Catnip by Vyria Durav,

The Nemesis series by April Daniels,

Some of the Heart of Heroes series by Molly J. Bragg.

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Okay, well, then I’ll start a specific thread for it…

Here we go… from now on, anything related to transphobic events can be posted over there. Keep this thread for wonderful things and trans joy!

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My only commentary on the fuckery that’s happened today, which is supposed to be a more somber occasion:

Because while we remember our dead today, tomorrow is the trans day of Vengeance, and the start of a multi-year running battle for our %DIETY%-given right to exist.

WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE. WE WILL ALWAYS BE HERE.

And to compensate, have some kitty pictures of my two brats.

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Thanks! I tagged this as ‘joy’ when I created it because I wanted a space to talk about the experience of being trans, which if it weren’t for the shitty politics playing out now, would be one of joy. The joy of finding one’s true self, the joy of playing with presentation, the joy of aligning one’s body with one’s sense of who they are supposed to be.

Being trans is insanely cool! When you transition you’re sticking a middle finger up to a society that tries to shove you in a box based on the circumstances of your birth. Trans is punk as fuck!

I’ve been largely avoiding this topic today because it gets my blood boiling. We just want to be left alone to live our lives, and to be so virulently hated for the thing that should be celebrated fucking hurts.

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I love that series! (Er … wait, isn’t that Dreadnought? Or is Nemesis a different one?) I’m so waiting for the third book, although she acknowledges it might be a while.

Hearts of Heroes is on my TBR pile right now.

As soon as I figure out how to make a book list in Polaris, I’ll list some too!

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Yeah. Dreadnaught: Nemesis and Sovereign: Nemesis.

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Okay, Polaris only works if the list is hosted on our library’s website where it can access our catalog, so can’t share a list that way. However this gave me the opportunity to explore a different tool I’ve been meaning to learn!

I’ve read most of these, but even the ones that I haven’t personally read are recommended by one or more of my partners. It’s not a huge list, since I restricted the search to just what’s in our catalog, but I think it’s a decent start. (Behind a cut because it includes pictures.)

A selection of books with positive trans characters!

Cemetery boys (Jun 2020)
By: Thomas, Aiden
Yadriel, a trans boy, summons the angry spirit of his high school’s bad boy, and agrees to help him learn how he died, thereby proving himself a brujo, not a bruja, to his conservative family.

Ciel (Sep 2020)
By: Labelle, Sophie, 1988-
Ciel, a gender non-conforming transgender kid with a popular YouTube channel, navigates high school, friendship and a long-distance relationship.

Ciel in all directions (Sep 2021)
By: Labelle, Sophie, 1988-
Non-binary trans kid Ciel has settled into high school with their friends, and between an important science project and their popular YouTube channel, they find themselves in a campaign to represent the LGBT Alliance.

Compound fracture (Sep 2024)
By: White, Andrew Joseph
After being nearly beaten to death for evidence he holds against the corrupt sheriff, sixteen-year-old transgender Miles joins his fellow townsfolk to end the blood feud and oppressive politics that plague his town.

Dreadnought (Jan 2017)
By: Daniels, April, (Young adult author)
After inheriting the powers of Dreadnought, Danny Tozer’s hidden transgender identity is brought into the open when her body assumes the gender she identifies with, bringing personal complications just as she is forced to face the original Dreadnought’s killer.

Sovereign (Jul 2017)
By: Daniels, April, (Young adult author)
As the superhero Dreadnought, Danny Tozer is protecting the city of New Port on her own, but after the emergence of a billionaire supervillain, she finds herself attacked on all sides, while she deals with her troubled family life.

The (un)popular vote (Jun 2021)
By: Sanchez, Jasper
Optics can make or break an election. Everything Mark knows about politics, he learned from his father, the Congressman who still pretends he has a daughter and not a son. Mark has promised to keep his past hidden and pretend to be the cis guy everyone assumes he is. But when he sees a manipulatively charming candidate for student body president inflame dangerous rhetoric, Mark risks his low profile to become a political challenger. The problem? No one really knows Mark. He didn’t grow up in this town, and his few friends are all nerds. Still, thanks to Scandal and The West Wing, they know where to start: from campaign stops to voter polling to a fashion makeover. Soon Mark feels emboldened to engage with voters–and even start a new romance. But with aninvestigative journalist digging into his past, a father trying to silence him, and the bully frontrunner standing in his way, Mark will have to decide which matters most: perception or truth, when both are just as dangerous.

The broken halo (May 2023)
By: Steele, Hamish
“It’s been weeks since Dead End was destroyed and as it reopens as a hotel, resident tour guide turned hotel manager Norma is determined to leave the ghosts of the past where they belong. But with her friendship with Barney up in the air and angels and demons using the hotel as their literal wrestling ring, Norma soon finds that unwanted ghosts can appear at any moment, especially when they’re your own.”-- Provided by publisher.

The divine order (Apr 2024)
By: Steele, Hamish
The battle between angels and demons rages on, and Courtney finds themselves restored to former glory in the realm of the angels with a new mission: bring about a new Divine Order and create a fourteenth plane of existence to keep the demons at bay. On the seventh plane, known to us as Earth, Norma Khan and Barney Guttman have allied with the demons in a search for both freedom and peace. There’s just one thing standing in their way: the Guttman family reunion. Badyah has joined the resistance as well, honing her martial arts skills and getting ready to protect Norma in battle.

The no-girlfriend rule (Mar 2024)
By: Randall, Christen
Julie Murphy meets Casey McQuiston in this unforgettable queer romance about a teen girl whose foray into fantasy tabletop roleplaying brings her new confidence, true friends, and a shot at real, swoon-worthy love.

The Sunbearer Trials (Sep 2022)
By: Thomas, Aiden
Chosen to participate in The Sunbearer Trials, where the loser is sacrificed to refuel the Sun Stones, Teo, the 17-year-old trans son of the goddess of birds, must compete against more powerful and better trained opponents for fame, glory and his own survival.

The watcher’s test (May 2023)
By: Steele, Hamish
Barney and his best friend Norma are just trying to get by and keep their jobs, but working at the Dead End theme park also means battling demonic forces, time traveling wizards, and scariest of all–their love lives!

Victories greater than death (Apr 2021)
By: Anders, Charlie Jane
Tired of hiding in obscurity on Earth, Tina, the human clone of a brilliant alien tactician, pursues her destiny in space, but success is elusive until Tina and her best friend Rachel assemble a ragtag crew of humans and set out to save all the worlds.

Ah! Cool, I forgot the series was called Nemesis.

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I am part of LGBQT+, and while i don’t purport to know the trans experience i have struggled with other parts of my identity to the point of being anguished and frustrated with myself for many years. And thankfully have grown to accept myself and be comfortable with who i am and who i’ve become. So in some way small i can relate, and i am very thankful to have trans folks in the community here. I may not know you but at least know i see you :smiling_face:

With that out of the way i read this just now and found it touching. I haven’t seen any of The Rings of Power but i did like the author’s message, as it pertains with (trans) identity:

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Alright! I’ve caught myself up with the thread mostly, i did skim some posts but i read a goodly portion so now i feel more equipped to share about myself. Mind you, i am still learning terms, dynamics, and more. TLDR; It’s complicated.

I am a 40yo, Latino, male omnisexual (i just learned this term), and ENM poly. My pronouns are he/him. My background is that i was born in the US, raised in Venezuela so i have always had a difficult relationship with identity and labels from a young age. I never felt like i fit in as a Latino living in Venezuela, and being in the US as an adult i didn’t feel quite like an American either.

Beyond that while i recognize and feel like my gender is male, i don’t feel like i can relate to most guys. In particular the more “traditional” and “normal” a guy is the less and less i feel like i could relate to them, so male bonds tend to be quite difficult for me to sustain. I do present myself and feel comfortable as a male, but might occasionally flirt with feminine or androgynous things. I think had i been born later i would’ve likely landed on being androgynous but at this point in my life i’m comfortable being male.

My attraction to others is quite varied, and i’m sure as others’ journey in the 90’s and 00’s was i first landed on being bi and it has evolved to pan and now omnisexual :sweat_smile: There’s way more i could share about myself but i hope this is enough for others to get a sense of who i am :slight_smile:

I hope to learn more about other’s journey and my self! If y’all have any questions for me i’d be happy to talk.

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Due to where I live, I have to be very closeted and present as cis but I decided I don’t want to hide who I am here. Things are about to be a lot more difficult and the reason I love being here is that I feel safe to be who I am without judgment, I want to proudly share who I am.

So, I’m Myx, my username comes from something I read on Twitter years ago about a potential nonbinary form for Mr. and Ms.: Mx.; it’s a small thing that lets me feel like I am presenting as I want the world to see me. I’m in my early 30’s and have been on a gradual journey of self-discovery for 4 or 5 years now. I’ve had times all through my life of things not feeling quite right, but didn’t have the words or experience to know what was wrong. I am genderfluid, but I would best describe myself as agender or nongender; it’s what fits most often. I’m ace/demi, (or as I recently learned the term earlier in this thread, graysexual) and I use they/them, but I feel like I’ve not found what pronouns fit me best, yet.

I’ve thought about physical transition before, but my circumstances wouldn’t really allow for it, so I’m happy to be who I am here and unashamed of it. I feel that I’m still early in my journey so I feel like I will have more questions for others than I can offer up answers, but I would be happy to talk to anyone about it, too!

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The way you describe yourself is a good reminder of how limited, and limiting, English, and maybe other languages, can be. I’m glad this is a safe space for you.

Also adding to the books discussion I can’t vouch for this since I haven’t read it, and could only offer a cis guy’s perspective anyway, but this looks like a fun read.

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Not sure if this is the proper thread for this, but…

https://www.pastemagazine.com/music/red-hot/traиƨa-casts-a-potent-holistic-light-on-transgender-awareness

LAURA JANE GRACE JAYNE COUNTY LEE RENALDO!!! FUCK YEAH!!!

More from this album here:

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