🤗 You Good? 🤗

I’ve had similar issues and managed to soothe the Office beast by saving as an older file format. In my case it was Word, and saving as “.doc” instead of “.docx” fixed a lot of tantrums. Might work with “.ppt” vs “.pptx”?

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Good suggestion! I’ll try that. Keynote just offers to export to PowerPoint. Do I just edit the extension?

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Nope. They’re completely different file formats.

I had to open it in Word (Ppt, in your case), and “Save As…” from there to change the format.

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Ah, gotcha.

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Good guidance that will be pretty useful in here and now that we find ourselves in…

tl;dr: “Tell me more,” “That sounds really hard.” Inviting interaction and validating the pain. It works.

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I am so not good!

The story so far -

Immediately after losing my job in June last year (not my fault) and getting mauled by a pack of dogs (no, really), Pussycat had a bad accident, broke both her feet and ended up in a wheelchair. We rode out the 3 months of unemployment compensation this red state provides ($300 a week - obviously not enough to survive on) with the help of a GoFundMe I set up while I took care of her and the horses.

So OF COURSE the ambulance, hospital, surgeon, doctor and physical therapist all DIDN’T TAKE OUR INSURGENCE (Ambetter) and the bill is $90,000. NINETY THOUSAND! I think the most money I’ve ever had in the bank at once was $10,000, and that was a long, long time ago. The GoFundMe raised $5k before it petered out, and we had to use all of that just to pay the mortgage and utilities and shit.

But wait, there’s more! Three more ambulance trips, three more ER visits (and I don’t know about where you live, but here after the ER nurse gets you in a room the next one who comes in is the billing person to demand $200 up front or you pay 20% more later), and eventually… an appendectomy! Still all on the insurance no one takes.

I got a job through a bullshit staffing agency that I will not name (Proman) at a poorly managed and hellish supermarket refrigerator case door factory (CIG Glass). I had to get up at 3AM to do the horses to be at the job by 6 and work till 4:30 for $15 an hour. That lasted three months until the temp contract was up and it was time to take me on permanently and instead they kicked me to the curb. Can’t get unemployment again until June, staffing place has nothing.

ALL THIS TIME I’ve been applying for dozens of jobs a week. Indeed, fucking LinkedIn, ZipRecruiter. I have 15 years management experience, I was making $65k salary last year, nobody will hire me. Right now I’m jumping through the hoops for this stupid TSA airport gestapo job even though it will be a 4 hour round trip commute every day to a job I’m going to hate but that’s how desperate I am.

But a least I changed our insurance during the open enrollment period to the Blue Cross Blue Shield that all the hospitals and doctors she has to keep going to actually take!

SO TODAY (guess where this is headed…) I take Pussycat to a recheck and x-ray. “I’m sorry, your BCBS plan is on Network E. We are on Network S. Your plan has zero out of network coverage.” Full price, I have to put it all on the credit card. I call BCBS to see if we can change networks. “Open enrollment is over. You have to go through the marketplace and see if you qualify for a special enrollment period to change plans.” I call Obamacare and go through all the questions. “What is your monthly income?” Zero. “If you have no income, you have to pay full price for your plan, which is $2,000 a month.” Okay no changes, please!

SO STILL, all our taxes (and with this plan, my $8 a month), are going to these insurance companies FOR FUCK ALL NOTHING!

Two grand a month, for a useless little white card with some numbers and the letter “E” on it.

So here’s the thing - I am freaking out. I have never been more depressed in my life. I can’t drink enough to get to sleep. Because I am BROKE.

I was able to pay the mortgage this time only because I got my income tax refund. I have enough left to pay the water bill, but not the electricity. The propane tank is empty so I hope it doesn’t get cold again. My car is almost paid off, but not quite and that payment is coming up in a week - plus it needs an oil change, tires and brakes. I can’t pay the loan on the barn and the horses are going to need hay again before the grass comes up. Even if I get this TSA gig (which I have serious doubt) it will be too late to get through the month. Neither of us have any family to help us. We are getting food boxes from the mission and they are mostly rotten, so…

If anyone can throw some bones my way please PM me and I will give you the GoFundMe link or my PayPal.

I didn’t want to come begging here but I’m just out of options. This community is my only social interaction with decent people and y’all have helped keep me sane and i really really really appreciate it!

All the love I have to give is yours, whatever happens.

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I haven’t been doing well lately. Everything just kind of got overwhelming. I’ve felt constantly on edge for a couple months and a few weeks ago it all became too much and I sort of just shut down. I’ve kept myself high (I took a break) since then and that seems to have helped by allowing me to finally get some much needed sleep. I’ve been limiting my news intake and mostly avoiding social media which also seems to have helped reduce anxiety. I’ve found keeping myself distracted has helped with social media; I’ve switched browsers twice in the last week. I hope I can continue with the recent balance I’ve found and maintain this more positive direction. It’s going to be difficult.

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I’m sorry… thinking good thoughts your way…

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I have to believe that we’re at a momentary low point and things just have to get better soon. I’m going to send positive vibes and a big hug out to you.

tenor-2106156297

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Hang in there, we miss you! Sounds like you’re doing what’s right for you.

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One thing that has really sucked, has been the return of constant political ads, especially the transphobic ones. Increasingly transphobic democrats haven’t helped things either. I’m just glad sleep and a focus on small positive things has helped me avoid falling off the edge.

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Sorry…Just hold out until things get better

And we’ll leave a light on for you…

image

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always_here_for_you_sm

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