When my grandmother died, I felt relieved she was gone and sad sheād wasted an entire life being horrible and hurting everyone around her. If she still had her faculties when she died, Iām sure I wouldāve also felt happy she was gone, but by then she was mostly already gone from dementia. She already couldnāt hurt people anymore.
Iām sad she wasted her life, and Iām glad her life didnāt last longer than it did.
Iām going to a No Kings protest tomorrow, but for the rest of the weekend Iām considering getting as high as possible without abandoning my caretaking duties, because this week has been nightmarish. It feels like EVERYTHING has been amped up to 10- the police brutality, the abuse of power and blatant contempt for the law, Trumpās screaming all caps social media attacks, Israel, RFK Jr.'s attack on public health and science⦠if things keep going at this pace it feels like weāll be in Civil War 2 AND World War III by the end of July.
I feel ya. Maybe mix in some meditation, or yoga, or something too. Maybe art if that is something that brings you peace?
Thatās what Iām doing. Drinking only a bit tonight and then tomorrow itās the deep stretch yoga routine. I wish edibles were legal in Texas. Though perhaps now is not the time to be experimenting.
Anyway. Trying to lean into things I know help my emotional equilibrium mixed with some escapism in books
I deliberately chose 10 because things can still get worse. So, so much worse. And probably will. Weāre watching Trump and Musk ravage everything, knowing what the consequences will be, but enduring the consequences when they come will be a whole other matter. But still, one day at a time.
My brotherās MIL spent 35 years making her daughterās life miserable. His also; they nearly separated many a time. She also managed to traumatize her own grandkids.
And then a few years back, along comes Alzeimers.
Thatās not just a horrible fucking disease, itās also a pretty weird one.
Most Alzheimerās sufferers turn into nasty people - it may be frustration, may be something else - I donāt think anyone really knows.
She turned into a fucking Angel.
No joke, she was lovely.
Wouldnāt remember you two minutes after youād walked through the door, but she simply forgot how to be awful.
Anyway, you guys upthread, donāt let the guilt consume you, life is confusing enough.