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Commander Damerl Capstanturnbuckle, at your service.
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My dear sir, have the very eyes (and you seem to have so many, do those faceted compound creations belie a connection…) in your head failed you? Surely you recognize such a specimen of our Nephropidae nation as myself?
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As with all great sailors through the ages my institution is the very Abyss through which I’ve plied 'ere since coming of age as a larval midshipman. Formal education in Her Queen Malacostraca’s Naval Academy of Nephropidae 8, sponsored by the beloved Lady Homaridae. Top honors earned.
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A fortuitous career in Her Majesty’s Service has allowed my semi-retirement to the luxury of Decapoda Downs, whose rolling hills and brackish backwaters call to me all those long years away as I tread the decks.
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Boy! Boy, where are you!? Present yourself proper. This is my valet, (indeed, I know, a human, how gauche, but I owe a debt of honor to his deceased father…) Tom Ratchetcrank. You are excused, boy.
- My name is Duchess Gummibuns, but oh my Glob, just call me LSP
- Have you never seen a beautiful floating space lump before?
- It’s the best place you never heard of. Lupine Hills. Very exclusive, but you gotta watch out for the lumping social dynamics. One wrong word and they try to bite you!
- Oh yeah you should check out my house. It’s, like, kinda lame but way less lame than, like, your house. It was like a lumping present from the King. We call it the Lumpy Estates.
1. What is your name?
Aaaakzeee St-Patrick-Hartbrooke III
2. Please indicate your species by checking the appropriate box below:
[ ] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[ ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[X] Other, please specify in detail:
Space Griffin:
While Charybdian records (flatteringly, I must admit, given the prominence in Terran mythology and heraldry) refer to our species as “Space Griffins,” our native name is the Taaa’keeen. Basic xenobiological, cultural, and historical information should be present in the Royal Charybdis Library or that of the Harcourt Historical Society; any supplemental information will, of course, be provided on request (although I must beg indulgence for time to requisition said documentation from the Taaa’keeen Embassy and translate it from Keeen’arrr).
3. Please indicate the institution from which you received your most recent education:
[ ] Benjamin Wheatly's Mercantile Concern
[ ] Major Harbinger's Reform School
[ ] Excelsior Hall, School of Rhetoric and Oratory
[ ] Weatherby University, creating fine scholars since 2188
[X] Madam Scallopini's Finishing School for Young Sentients
[ ] Other, please specify in excruciating detail __________________________
4. Please record the name of your family estate:
Hartbrooke Hall
5. [Optional bonus] Please attach a picture of your family coat of arms:
[[OOC Note: I could so easily cheat at this (hint: see avatar), but I’m going to take the time to do this properly at some later point, so consider this a placeholder:]]
Due to an unfortunate happenstance for which the responsible servants have already been appropriately punished, all easily-portable copies of the St-Patrick-Hartbrooke coat of arms were recently destroyed in a fire, but preparations are already underway to replace these and provide them to your esteemed institution at the earliest possible moment. With my apologies, all that I can currently offer is the blazon of the St-Patrick-Hartbrooke arms:
Quarterly 1 and 4 Azure, a cross moline Or; 2 and 3 Vert, a hart’s head cabossed Argent.
6. [Optional advanced challenge] Please record the name and species of any Citizen-Pretender wards in your care:
Unfortunately, I have not yet been given the honour of being entrusted with the unparalleled responsibility of having the wellbeing and upbringing of a ward from the ranks of the less-blessed among us placed into my care.
- What is your name?
Reginald Oblongnoknees Ursulak Nock-nock Dipswitch, VII.
Just call me Rounder.
-
Please indicate your species by checking the appropriate box below:
[ ] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[ ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[X] Other:
Space Felis Silvestris Catus -
Please indicate the institution from which you received your most recent education:
[ ] Benjamin Wheatly’s Mercantile Concern
[ ] Major Harbinger’s Reform School
[ ] Excelsior Hall, School of Rhetoric and Oratory
[ ] Weatherby University, creating fine scholars since 2188
[ ] Madam Scallopini’s Finishing School for Young Sentients
[X] Other, please specify in excruciating detail
Professor Cumberbatch’s Institute for Advanced Potations -
Please record the name of your family estate:
Pouncington Boxfort Castle, located in beautiful Sammichingtonshireville, Ham-Upon-Rye
- Please attach a picture of your family coat of arms:
- Please record the name and species of any Citizen-Pretender wards in your care:
May I introduce Richard Oomingmak Ticklebot Liversnaps-Grayson, my ward, my faithful companion, and a master of disguise to boot.
He’s, ummmmmmm, some sort of Space Hound or other. Well, today he is, anyway. Who knows what he’ll be tomorrow!
- Erythro Brummell, Lieutenant, Charybdian Hussars, ret’d.
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Sentient Red Shifted Photons.
- As an enthusiastically amateur gentleman scholar, I have recently been conducting some experimentation into the nature of reality, and my fool of a (now former) lizardservant engaged the high-power laser without first engaging the necessary safeguards. A most remarkable event occurred, and I exist now as a being of pure light - if, while conversing with you, I appear to be getting more distant, do not fear, this is simply my nature. My solicitors have assured me that I retain my legal status in spite of being non-corporeal - my biggest concern was my wardrobe, but I have since been able to synthesize holographic ascots, and so have been able to maintain my position in society.
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If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him. I did board for a while at Reptilon, before going up to Gonville & Gaius College for a time, before beginning my military career.
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My family seat is at Cthonington Grove, in the Royal Moon.
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As a result of the incident mentioned above, being a charitable sort, I have taken the hatchling of my former lizardservant into my household - young Qaaxtzl, who shows promise, but has a terrible lisp - and is such a slugabed! Cold-blooded, you know)
bzzzt-zot
"Wel-come! Wel-come to Weatherby!
Mr. Capstanturnbuckle (@pogo)
Ms. Gummibuns (@gwwar)
Mr. St-Patrick-Hartbrooke (@nimelennar)
Mr. Dipswitch (@ghoti)
Mr. Brummel (@daneel)
As a duly appointed representative of the Harcourt Historical Society, it is my distinct pleasure to inform you that you have been approved for inclusion in the first edition of Harcourt’s Handbook to the Titled, Landed, and Official Classes of the Weatherby System."
bing! pip!
“I am further pleased to inform you that you have also been elected to Leviathan’s as a full member and invite you to pay a visit to the club at your earliest convenience.”
fzzt
1. What is your name?
Lord Hieronymoose Farnsworth, III
2. Please indicate your species by checking the appropriate box below:
[ ] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[X] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[ ] Other, please specify in detail ________________________________
3. Please indicate the institution from which you received your most recent education:
[X] Benjamin Wheatly's Mercantile Concern
[ ] Major Harbinger's Reform School
[ ] Excelsior Hall, School of Rhetoric and Oratory
[ ] Weatherby University, creating fine scholars since 2188
[ ] Madam Scallopini's Finishing School for Young Sentients
[ ] Other, please specify in excruciating detail __________________________
4. Please record the name of your family estate:
Abacus Racks
5. [Optional bonus] Please attach a picture or draw a replica of your family coat of arms:
6. [Optional advanced challenge] Please record the name and species of any Citizen-Pretender wards in your care:
Rockford Julius - A Space Squirrel. The son of a dear friend taken from us too soon. Both his parents fell in the Nutter's Rebellion and was by the sheerest chance that young Rockford had been out with his nanny when the tragedy had occured.“This will be counted,” Indeed.
A moose after my own soul.
- What is your name?
I am Olivier Richard Pierre Jean-Robèrt Sylvain, but please. Call me Liv.
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Please indicate your species by checking the appropriate box below:
[X ] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[ ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[ ] Other, please specify in detail ________________________________ -
Please indicate the institution from which you received your most recent education:
[ ] Benjamin Wheatly’s Mercantile Concern
[X ] Major Harbinger’s Reform School
[ ] Excelsior Hall, School of Rhetoric and Oratory
[ ] Weatherby University, creating fine scholars since 2188
[ ] Madam Scallopini’s Finishing School for Young Sentients
[ ] Other, please specify in excruciating detail __________________________
But you can rest assured, your esteemed scrivener, that I am not the troublesome young man I once was.
- Please record the name of your family estate:
DeForest Hall.
- [Optional bonus] Please attach a picture or draw a replica of your family coat of arms:
Yes, of course, as soon as I retrieve a copy. I am afraid that some of my luggage was lost in transit, and the remaining copies are in the Hall, which is still being cleaned after that regrettable… incident. I am still rather devastated, you must understand.
- [Optional advanced challenge] Please record the name and species of any Citizen-Pretender wards in your care:
My dearest Deanna Koi,
I'm sorry we didn't have time to say our goodbyes before I left for this aweigh mission.
As you know, Captain Pikeard is concerned about the illegal and immoral trafficking
of the Pisce Sapiens from Sandfish VI.
I'm skeptical that the historical re-enactors that seek to colonize the Weatherby
system would take time away from their cosplay in order to smuggle sandfish.
But as Charbydis is known for it's avaricious mercantile culture, not to mention
unorthodox financial institutions, I will conduct this investigation with all due
diligence.
At the least, this mission should certainly provide some entertaining moments.
The Captain approved the young Crusher lad to accompany me. His mother hopes
that the fine manners exercised by the Weatherby Socialites will serve as a
finishing school and prepare the lad for entrance to Starfish Academy. Let's hope
he's grown out of his floundering stage.
I shall miss you, my coy Koi, and long to return to swin in your currents.
Yours,
Gill
Commander William T. Piker of the Starship Elverprise
[ 
] Space Fish
[ __ ] Space Lizard
[ __ ] Space Moose
[ __ ] Space Lobster
[ __ ] Other, please specify in detail ________________________________
[ __ ] Benjamin Wheatly’s Mercantile Concern
[ __ ] Major Harbinger’s Reform School
[ __ ] Excelsior Hall, School of Rhetoric and Oratory
[ __ ] Weatherby University, creating fine scholars since 2188
[ __ ] Madam Scallopini’s Finishing School for Young Sentients
[ ] Other, please specify in excruciating detail
I graduated from Starfish Academy, 8th in my class. Since then, I’ve served various ranks in the United Federation of Oceans and Seas (UFOS), and for the last 5 years I’ve served as First Officer on the Starship Elverprise.
The Riker Stream Ranch in Palin County, Alaska, Old Earth.
Ensign Walleye Crusher
Aaaakzeee St-Patrick-Hartbrooke III
Hartbrooke Estate, Hartbrooke, Weatherby
January 28, [ink blot]
Registrar
Harcourt Historical Society (Weatherby Chapter)
Weatherby City, Weatherby
To the Registrar of the Harcourt Historical Society,
This is an addendum to my previous correspondence of Jan. 26.
Please find attached a copy of the St-Patrick-Hartbrooke coat of arms.
I apologize once again for its regrettable absence in my initial submission, and assure you once again that those responsible have been disciplined appropriately. However, thanks to the diligent work of a local Citizen-Pretender artisan, an acceptable facsimile has been created from the blazon previously supplied.
Thank you for your patient and diligent work in your essential task of compiling the biographical information of the True Citizenry of Weatherby.
I look forward with great anticipation to your forthcoming Handbook.
Sincerely,
[Excessively ornate signature]
Aaaakzeee St-Patrick-Hartbrooke
Attached: St-Patrick-Hartbrooke coat-of-arms.
- What is your name?
Robespierre Finnegan, bastard offspring of his grace, 8th Duke of Forboddenshire and my dear, beloved mère, Pombagira Finnegan.
- Please indicate your species by checking the appropriate box below:
[ ] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[ ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[X] Other, please specify in detail
Space Orisha but I appear as a human, usually. I only ever inhabit the bodies of those who call upon me, you will have my word on that as a gentlecreature, scholar and a space pagan.
- Please indicate the institution from which you received your most recent education:
[ ] Benjamin Wheatly’s Mercantile Concern
[ ] Major Harbinger’s Reform School
[ ] Excelsior Hall, School of Rhetoric and Oratory
[ ] Weatherby University, creating fine scholars since 2188
[ ] Madam Scallopini’s Finishing School for Young Sentients
[X] Other, please specify in excruciating detail
Herr Doktor Professor Doktor Herr Hegel’s Gymnasium for the Preferment of Young Minds
I confess I do not regret that I was expelled from this exclusive seat of privileged indolence, purportedly for misconduct of a prevaricative nature. In my defense, how was I to ascertain that such behavior was frowned upon by the begowned masters at the head when they themselves partook so freely of this vice themselves? I rather suspect though, that my banishment was in truth on account of my exhuberant, and yes, sometimes furious, ejaculations of negative dialectics in the faces of my fellow scholars and the backs of our erstwhile preceptors.
It was much to my relief, that with the necessary immediacy I was thereafter accepted mid term by the august school, Collège Mademoiselle Lenormand, where I was able to finish my studies and exorcise the geist of those ghastly Teutons from my previous school.
- Please record the name of your family estate:
Chateau Comme il Faut. Sadly, the hospitality of the Chateau has been withdrawn from me owing to certain unfortunate misapphrensions on the part of the priggish dullards resident there.
- [Optional bonus] Please attach a picture or draw a replica of your family coat of arms:
I proudly show the seal of my good mother, as I choose to append her name to mine, instead of that most tedious peer who sired me.
- [Optional advanced challenge] Please record the name and species of any Citizen-Pretender wards in your care:
Wards? Thank you kind sir. Your deft humour has elevated the day’s mood quite.
1. What is your name?
Lady Jane
2. Please indicate your species by checking the appropriate box
below:
[X] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[ ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[ ] Other, please specify in detail _______________
3. Please indicate the institution from which you received your
most recent education:
[ ] Benjamin Wheatly's Mercantile Concern
[ ] Major Harbinger's Reform School
[ ] Excelsior Hall, School of Rhetoric and Oratory
[ ] Weatherby University, creating fine scholars since 2188
[X] Madam Scallopini's Finishing School for Young Sentients
[ ] Other, please specify in excruciating detail ______________
4. Please record the name of your family estate:
Thunder Down
5. [Optional bonus] Please attach a picture or draw a replica
of your family coat of arms:
6. [Optional advanced challenge] Please record the name and
species of any Citizen-Pretender wards in your care:
I cannot be quite so far imposed on!
Dr. Heinz Franksenketchup
Castle Ponsfleischmann
I must remember to take more care against cross-contamination when attempting bio-sartorial engineering.
I feel the cold fusing. By any chance, would your family be holding substantial palladium reserves? I have a cousin who is helping an entity that needs to secure and discreet source
Transmutation of metals is one of my many areas of expertise. I am currently able to turn gold into palladium at a ratio of 4 and 16/17ths to 1. I am quite certain I could improve this yield with a small investment of capital. If your particular friend were interested, I could have some papers sent around, say, tomorrow afternoon?
bzort-fping!
"Gree-tings! Gree-tings and salutations!
Mr. Farnsworth (@Wisconsin_Platt)
Mr. Sylvain (@MalevolentPixy)
Mr. Piker (@fintastic)
Mr. Finnegan (@Heraclito)
Lady Jane (@penguinchris)
Dr. Franksenketchup (@old)
As a duly appointed representative of the Harcourt Historical Society, it is my distinct pleasure to inform you that you have been approved for inclusion in the first edition of Harcourt’s Handbook to the Titled, Landed, and Official Classes of the Weatherby System."
bing! pip!
“I am further pleased to inform you that the membership has completed a second round of voting and each of you have been elected to Leviathan’s as a full member."
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz cough ahem
"I invite each you to pay a visit to the club at your earliest convenience. Assuming you have not already done so, naturally.”
zot
Harcourts? That really is for Tyros, Noveaus, and Provincials. We all know the tome that matters:
Still, one could do worse than Harcourts. We must all start somewhere.
Grandma didn’t send me with a copy of our most illustrious coat of arms but I’ll write to her and see if she can send you one.
