Redoubtable Downtown Space Abbey - The Leviathan Club

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A Private Members’ Club for Discerning Gentlesentients of Weatherby

An august establishment in the heart of Weatherby known as a place for the exercise of habitual gregariousness and social inclinations. The place is sumptuously outfitted with all the fine appointments one has come to expect in a proper club: opportunities for both drinking and dining, zero-gravity billiards and other parlour games, and even overnight accommodations for members with extended business in the capital proper. As a newly elected member, you look forward to distinguishing your presence with both wit and action as the moment dictates.

The doorbot welcomes you warmly, takes your coat, and announces your arrival to the other members. How very exciting to be of means in this day and age!

Rumpthwaite, a silver-tinged Space Moose, tends the bar area with a fastidiousness and decorum that makes you feel quite at home.


Barkeep! Two of your finest porters for my companion and me.

Ante up, Dick. Shall we order some crudites?


Allow me to doth off my pith helmet and cheroot. Welcome all! I, Count Noah Count, (adventurer, somnabalist and harpsichord raconteur) have returned! Where from? And Whence for? You may ask. I have traipsed the South Pole regions of the Martian tundra with my orni-blimp and discovered a crevice to the interior of the planet, itself. With proper provision and funding, we will be able to colonize the untamed maidens and abundant resources.


Greetings and salutations, fine souls.

Mind if I pull up a chair and join you in the enjoyment of some bene bowse?


But of course, good sir, please do! The more, the merrier, especially if they buy the next round!

Shall we deal you in to our game? It’s a favorite in our hometown pub.

Easy enough to play, especially when one has been tippling all day. Excellent time-passer, isn’t that right, Dick?


Well, normally I’m not venturesome enough to be a woodpecker. But I s’ppose a bit of sport in the vein of chicken hazard would be fun.

Much obliged for dealing me in.



Very good, dear sir! Very good indeed.



folds hand, admitting defeat in this round

Well, I guess that wasn’t the school lay that I’m looking for.


Barkeep! Barkeep! I’ve been here, floating in this corner, waiting too glob long for my chili cheese fries.

[ Barkeep frowns at the beans placed on the bar. ]

You don’t want to accept my perfectly good beans??? So where’s the food? What kind of castle is this? It’s like a poor people’s castle!

[ Barkeep grumbles a reply ].

Not acceptable currency?!? By glob, I’m Duchess Gummibuns!

[ Barkeep grumbles again ]

Never heard of me?!? Take This!

[ Duchess Gummibuns throws all the complementary peanuts into the air ].


[ Barkeep is stunned while Duchess Gumibuns floats over to the card game ]


Hmmmm, don’t want to alarm you, Piker, but it looks like someone of an angry nature is floating up behind you.

Looks like we might be in for an interesting afternoon, eh chaps? Perhaps we ought to order another round from the barkeep and see where this goes.


Perhaps. But I’ve found there’s few who’s spirits don’t lighten once they’ve been bitten by the barn mouse.

Turns to greet The Duchess

Bows slightly


A messenger arrives, hands a missive to the bartender, then leaves.

My dear esteemed gentlesentients,

It is with great regret that I cannot share the pleasure of your company at this time, but I am still in mourning over the tragic loss of my entire family in circumstances that I am certain you will agree are not necessary to discuss.

I have included sufficient funds with this missive to serve as payment for a “round” of beverages for all those present.


Olivier Sylvain, Deforest Hall.



Timing was everything, his father always said. It was the difference between an embarassing story and an amusing anecdote; when bowing to an equal, it was the difference between respect and mockery.

There would be many new entrants to high society present at the Leviathan Club this evening, and Aaaakzeee St-Patrick-Hartbrooke III needed to establish his presence at exactly the right moment to ensure the right impression.

Arriving too early would be a sign of desperation: that one needed to make as many connections as possible within the community of True Citizens.

On the other hand, being announced when everyone else was already present would be a slap on the face to everyone who had arrived already: a suggestion that he was the most important person in the room, which would be challenging and expensive to back up.

A glance; a click. It was not yet time. The cream of society had not risen to the occasion, to be skimmed off by an enterprising gentleman…

St-Patrick-Hartbrooke winced, made note of how much time was available before his departure and resolved to spend that time coming up with a less-tortured metaphor for how he was going to take advantage of the concentration of wealth and power present at the Leviathan tonight.


Auuuugh, Dick, be a good lad an’ retrieve m’ drink from the bartenner, thassaboy… I seem to h’ve dropped m’ monocle b’neath th’ table an’ I’m havin’ a spot o’ difficulty seein’ straight.

Remind me later, dear boy, t’ thank Mr Sylvawhatsit f’r th’ gernsers… germereros… genermonsit… kindness when he arrives 'n due course.


[ Duchess Gummibuns wobbles slightly, in her form of an awkward bow ]

Well, this is totally like that famous painting or some junk! A Space Feline, a Space Hound, and a Space Beardo, all together playing cards. Glob, that’s so fresh.

I’m Duchess Gummibuns! I’m, like, famous and stuff, so I’m sure you already lumping know. I’m, like, totally single, but if you want these lumps, you gotta put a ring on it. I’m not even sure if I’m ready for love, but I hope he’ll be a steaming hot babe with huge money.

[ Duchess Gummibuns begins eating food and drink on the table without asking ]

Uh. [ Duchess Gummibuns says within mouthfuls ] Is that Space Cat okay?



notices that the Space Hound, Dick, seems unworried

Mr. Liversnaps-Grayson, is a routine state of cateplexy often common in the seventh of rounds?



[takes a moment to register what’s happened]


[peers over glasses]

Ah, indeed, indeed. He’ll be right-side-round in no time.

[looks back at his cards, puffs on his pipe]

Mmmmhmmm. No time at all.


Rumpthwaite, be a good chap and bring me a pint of vinegar and a dozen hard-boiled egg yolks.



[Rumpthwaite produces a porcelain bowl of large, golden, precisely boiled yolks and places it on the table]

“Indeed, sir. Please enjoy these delights from Leviathan’s private duck house. Does Dr. Franksenketchup have a preference for white, apple cider, or malt? Or perhaps something from the balsamic collection would be preferred?”

[Anticipating your next questions, the old moose hands you a vinegar list]

“McClary Brothers is the celebrated choice in drinking vinegars at Leviathan’s, but certainly the good doctor knows what he prefers most.”