I remember… strolling toward the stables of Lubeck, late in our trip to the city. We’d made some very profitable deals, and we needed to purchase more horses to transport our finds to the next town. That was when I felt the odd rush that signaled the presence of another of my kind. I slipped warily into a back alley, eyes scanning my surroundings. A familiar form stepped into view.
“You!”
“No, I’m YOwOL.”
I blinked. “I know who you are. We met in Avignon. You sold me that Venetian periscope necklace… and that useless piece of junk broke three months later.”
He had the nerve to smile at me as he replied, “The terms of warranty were specified by the manufacturer.”
“It also turned my neck green. For a month! Have you no honor in your dealings?”
“I take your complaints very seriously.”
“Perhaps you’ll take this complaint more to heart, prokhindey,” I retorted, freeing my lovely karabela from its hiding place among my skirts. In answer, he drew an odd looking cylinder. With a flick of his wrist, the long blade-like portion began to glow an ominous red. Bozhe moy, it almost looked like a toy, but as we cautiously circled each other, he handled it with skill. And in the first clash of weapons, I discovered that it could indeed cut like a blade, when it drew a thin line of blood from my left shoulder.
But for all his bluster, the fight did not go well for him. Only his first two strikes injured me, while more of my blows struck home. Soon enough, he was sprawled across the cobblestones at my feet, scrambling backward frantically, as I lifted my sword to end the fight… and his Immortal existence.
But he did something I didn’t expect. He flung his hand toward me, flinging mud-- and worse-- from the stones across my face. For a moment, I could not see, and he took that opportunity to spring up and dash down the alley to the busier streets beyond. I ran after him, only to see him swing himself into the back of a departing wagon. From the stench of it, the bed of the wagon was full of middens and manure. How appropriate. “New replies are no longer allowed,” he called as it rolled away.
I could do nothing but scream in frustration. There were far too many people around to resume our duel… “and this was my favorite dress!” In that moment, I swore to any listening god that when YOWOL and I next met, I would take his miserable head.
Then I filed his dirty little trick into my memories for future reference. You never know when a move like that could come in handy…