Yup, Macomb County is where I live; that’s the line that puts me on hold, lol.
And I’m still working on getting the vehicle that was bought for me (I don’t want to think of it as “mine”) driveable; it’s in the shop, getting the O2 sensor fixed, and my musical partner’s paying for it.
No word yet on whether or not I’ll be able to go back to my old job on the date of my choosing.
I’ve been having severe pains in my left elbow for quite some time and am now considering to my PCP to see what can be done to stop it. I have a feeling they may have to cut out some stretched nerves or tendons, yeesh! It’s not fun, lemme tell ya.
Yeah, online services aren’t mentioned on the county website. But I did learn about some other things I didn’t know, so thanks @ChickieD!
I really think going somewhere different would help, even if just for a day.
And the car was in the shop for the O2 sensor and my musical partner even got a discount on it. So it wasn’t that bad, but still another delay.
Have been having the garage sale when it’s not been raining, even though it’s true MI autumn weather here, like there’s been no climate change (!) and it’s spring in reverse (that’s what it seemed like when I was a kid). Blustery, sunny, lots of golden-red mixed in with the green that’s left.
If anyone Googles Modest Needs and sees an ad for American Hope Resources, do NOT go there - they’re scammers. Lots of complaints on the BBB site about that organization.
I woke up this morning knowing I didn’t have a job and that my chances of getting one seem to be very slim.
I applied to a job I’d applied for in March and that got reposted; I’m guessing the person they hired didn’t work out. But I don’t hold out much hope. And the boss is a supporter - or was then - of the current POTUS.
I’ve not been practicing self-talk. I realize, however, that I’m not so powerful that everything that’s been going wrong in the house (internet problems right after I changed it over) isn’t my fault.
But I still hate myself for not being a productive member of society. For having to depend on others for help. For feeling like a failure at life; whatever victories I may’ve had - what do they matter now? For example: I am the first person in my immediate family to have a college degree - but it’s not doing me any good.
Please try not to hate yourself. We like you, and we’re pretty discerning people. You’re just going through a bad patch. I went through one of those some years ago, but I got through it. Tell yourself you will too, if you can.
I can’t go for much longer, though. I have an appointment with Michigan Rehabilitation Services on the 12th. That doesn’t help me between now and then, though.
I have very rarely felt, upon reflection, comfortable in this world.
Addendum: My bad patch predates the country’s by a few months; it started after my mother died on 6/23/16.
I’ve been privileged enough to be “productive” in this system of things and it all boils down to bullshit.
I realize when I let my “Corporate Facade” slip that I am very alone in the world around me.
Again, privilege lets me be the “God Damned Socialist” who wants wants the rising tide to raise all boats instead of what we have.
I think I startled one of my closer friends (she has gone past co-worker over 20 years) when I said I wasn’t going to be the one to start the fire, but I’ll give someone the matches and fan the flames.
I love ya, Lucy. Keep up the fight. The world isn’t comfortable for anyone who has compassion.
I really didn’t get the encouragement I think kids need from ages 9 or 10 on up to legal adulthood. No teachers or counselors or anyone ever seemed to notice that I was troubled, probably because I kept my grades up. But I had gotten in trouble for skipping school. Going to counseling outside school and on my own - because, lol, my girlfriends who’re more troubled than I were going! - helped.
I was wishing today that I’d succeeded in committing suicide when I was 15. I know that’s silly, but it’s true. If’d I’d known then that my life would be like this, I would’ve tried harder.
How can I take care of my son and cat when I’m not doing too well with me?
I’ve been getting a teensy measure of revenge by shredding my dad’s old bowling newsletters, scoresheets, et al, and using them for cat litter. But I’ll still glance down at them and see how he did. He was such a fucking jerk and was quite probably abused himself (he wet the bed till he went into the service!), but he still had some admirable qualities.
And finding old childhood stuff…it just keeps bringing back all kinds of memories. Argh.
I need a promoter. Because I’m unable to do it for myself. And what’s wrong with not being able to do it for myself? The people who would say there was something are the same ones who don’t get, “LOOK, I have a hard time promoting getting-out-of-bed to myself as it is!”
I thought about going to a bar - yes, I know, right?! - not to drink, but to sing karaoke…only I can’t even buy a Coke. And I’d feel funny asking for water, and they may be one of those places that charge for it.
