Hyperfocus is definitely a symptom: ADHD is an attention regulation disorder. Hyperfocus is also disregulated attention.
Time management is also a big flag: there tend to be two times – “now” and “not-now”. Anything that is “not-now” often gets ignored until it needs to be done “now”, which is generally too late.
A lot of what gets seen as laziness, including procrastination, is actually due to the brain being unable to process everything and choose a course of action. Or we procrastinate on things we want to do, simply because it’s an overwhelming amount of work at that moment. An example I like to use is leaving the office to go home. I am not a workaholic, but can often be found in the office late because my brain won’t motivate itself to do all the tasks required to get home: gather keys, coat and wallet, make sure computer is shut down, make sure I have my cellphone and lunch cooler (if I keep my lunch at my desk I am more likely to remember to eat), drive home (and do any necessary errands along the way, like get gas), either plan to get dinner or figure out something to eat (decisions? Don’t give me decisions)… it’s a lot. It’s easier to just stay put.
Cleaning often fits into that, because all the little things that get put off add up and become overwhelming. And no, we can’t train ourselves into picking up every piece or thing that is out of place immediately. Nobody actually does that. Everybody leaves something that they’ll “get to later” sometimes, because they’re running unexpectedly late, or something else has popped up that is more urgent, it’s just with executive dysfunction, it happens all the time. So your coffee cup in the sink has become all of them by the end of the week, and some of them now need scrubbing, and this is so simple, everybody says so, why can’t you just be a responsible adult…
Yeah, a lot of ableism gets drilled in and internalized, especially when people are like “well, everybody’s like that sometimes.” One of the big pushes for me that it was a real thing I might have, was when my mother had a stroke and suddenly was having problems with forgetting where she put things, or remembering she was cooking something, and for her it was traumatic, to my sister and father it was a sign of how far she’d slipped (and honestly, I think my father is ADHD, too, but for him it was a case of suddenly having no one managing all the things she used to), but I was like: you’re describing my everyday. 3 cups of water, tea or juice going at once? Yup. I either lost the others or forgot I poured it and got a new one. Milk left sitting on the counter because I forgot to put it back? You betcha. Late for work or an appointment because I can’t find my keys, or because I had to go back and check that I locked the door? So often.
I swear by my auto-shutoff electric kettle, InstantPot, stand mixer and dishwasher. I would kill for my own washer and dryer, on account of they would help so much in eliminating roadblocks to doing laundry.
Again, in my NT mother, those things I listed happening regularly were signs of damage after a stroke. For me, it was Tuesday. Or maybe Wednesday. I can’t be sure. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to try for the third time to make a morning cup of tea.
