Fuck Today, Reboot Edition

[ChickieD]

My stepchildren’s mother died unexpectedly this Sunday.

I spoke briefly with my stepson on his way to her funeral and he was so choked up. I felt so sad for him.

When I was young, newly married, and mother to 3 stepkids - the oldest 9, the middle one 8 and profoundly mentally disabled and living in a group home, the youngest 7 - I started my married life by my then-husband’s ex-wife moving the able bodied children across the country and enrolling them in school under their new stepfather’s last name.

We ended up in all kinds of legal crap, none of which went anywhere.

My ex and I spent most every holiday with my mentally disabled stepson with no help from my own family and no help from his mother.

It was a hard way to start a marriage.

After a while we all got tired of spending money on lawyers that could have gone to the children and wasn’t resolving anything.

By the time the oldest was 12 we all shook hands (so to speak, she was still across the country from us) agreed to disagree, compromised, and tried to help each other out as best we could.

She was a nice person and she loved her children (though maybe just could not deal with the disabled son after being his constant and nearly sole caretaker for the first 5 years of his life). She fought for them and believed in them. There were ways she was as a parent that I learned I did not want to be, that made me a better parent to my own child. She was kind of my nemesis and kind of my mentor as a parent.

After I divorced their dad I’ve had pretty minimal contact with my 2 able bodied stepkids who were all launched. She divorced and remarried. I have seen a few photos of her in her daughter’s Facebook feed. I haven’t seen her in person in at least 20 years.

And it was just so sad to think about all the fights we had when we all just loved the kids and wanted the best for them. Seemed so stupid in retrospect how we acted.

I’m so much more experienced now; I’ve seen so many parents who just didn’t care about their kids, or hurt them, and I have so much more tolerance for the ones who love as best they can.

RIP Joanna.

[smulder]

[Melizmatic]

Holy crap; more tricks of the light?

No wonder you joke about “living in Mordor…”

[kxkvi]

“Mind if I play through?”
–Wildfire

[LearnedCoward]

If there’s ever a perfect visual metaphor for life in the Trump administration…

[kxkvi]

“Mind if I play through?”
–Kilauea

[MalevolentPixy]

I am on the third day of a migraine (finally hit postdrome stage) only to have my boss tell me that “migraines shouldn’t last that long”.

Per the Mayo Clinic:

Prodrome

One or two days before a migraine, you may notice subtle changes that warn of an upcoming migraine, including:

Constipation
Mood changes, from depression to euphoria
Food cravings
Neck stiffness
Increased thirst and urination
Frequent yawning

Aura

Aura may occur before or during migraines. Most people experience migraines without aura.

Auras are symptoms of the nervous system. They are usually visual disturbances, such as flashes of light or wavy, zigzag vision.

Sometimes auras can also be touching sensations (sensory), movement (motor) or speech (verbal) disturbances. Your muscles may get weak, or you may feel as though someone is touching you.

Each of these symptoms usually begins gradually, builds up over several minutes and lasts for 20 to 60 minutes. Examples of migraine aura include:

Visual phenomena, such as seeing various shapes, bright spots or flashes of light
Vision loss
Pins and needles sensations in an arm or leg
Weakness or numbness in the face or one side of the body
Difficulty speaking
Hearing noises or music
Uncontrollable jerking or other movements

Sometimes, a migraine with aura may be associated with limb weakness (hemiplegic migraine).
Attack

A migraine usually lasts from four to 72 hours if untreated. The frequency with which headaches occur varies from person to person. Migraines may be rare, or strike several times a month. During a migraine, you may experience:

Pain on one side or both sides of your head
Pain that feels throbbing or pulsing
Sensitivity to light, sounds, and sometimes smells and touch
Nausea and vomiting
Blurred vision
Lightheadedness, sometimes followed by fainting

Post-drome

The final phase, known as post-drome, occurs after a migraine attack. You may feel drained and washed out, while some people feel elated. For about 24 hours, you may also experience:

Confusion
Moodiness
Dizziness
Weakness
Sensitivity to light and sound

I already have touch sensitivity. During a migraine, even some of my “safe” clothes aren’t safe. Office lighting is hell. But note the part I bolded. That’s just during the attack phase. I don’t get visual auras, but I do sometimes get the audio symptoms. That’s right, folks. Migraines can cause hallucination. Now ask yourself whether someone who is hearing things, can’t stand to be in their clothing, can’t see straight in sunlight and wants to vomit if they even have water… ask if they should get behind the wheel of a car.

And boss, I have seen my doctor about this. About all he recommended was Tylenol 3 which leaves me unfit to drive and just dulls the pain; it doesn’t actually shorten the duration and sometimes makes the nausea and dizziness worse.

[gadgetgirl]

I am on the third day of a migraine (finally hit postdrome stage) only to have my boss tell me that “migraines shouldn’t last that long”.

There are an astonishing number of people out there who think a “migraine” is just a really bad headache. I know several people who call their bad headaches “migraines”, much to my annoyance. I’m the only person in my immediate family who doesn’t get them, although I’ve had kaleidoscope vision and some other symptoms a few times, but without the pain and vomiting afterwards that my relatives get.

Take care. Hope yours goes away soon.

[MalevolentPixy]

I know several people who call their bad headaches “migraines”, much to my annoyance.

This, along with people thinking that clinical level Depression (with a capital D) = “being sad”, is something that will make me lose it on people. Headache is simply one of the symptoms of migraine. Hell, my mother has been diagnosed with migraines without headache, based on the other symptoms.

I had a different boss let a guy go home, then when I said I could feel a migraine coming on, said “well, he said he had one, so I already let him go” and when I said I wanted to throw up, asked “what has that got to do with a migraine?”. I don’t know, maybe given that it’s one of the fucking diagnostic criteria? To my credit, I managed not to phrase it that way, though I ended up on several different bathroom breaks.

TL;DR Anyone who thinks a migraine is simply a bad headache needs a not-so-short, sharp education. But not an actual migraine, because I wouldn’t wish those on anybody.

[kxkvi]

I really get angry with people dismissing someone’s illness, for whatever reason.

[DaakSyde]

Well according to the commercials that everyone in society has seen thousands of times until they’re drilled into our subconscious concept of reality, not only are migraines just dramatic headaches, but they’re not even bad ones since you can instantly solve them and go right back to being cheerful, chipper, and full of energy and joy with just one dose of readily-available over-the-counter pills … as long as you buy the right brand, of course.

I imagine people might take it a little more seriously if they hadn’t been brainwashed by marketers.

[Crashproof]

This is my morning. I got to work before realizing what I had done.

I think I’ll skip my morning walk and go home for lunch

In other news: one of our dogs had surgery to remove intestinal cancer Tuesday. $3500 (including the diagnostics).

They called to ask if it was okay to remove her ovaries, since that wasn’t done when she was spayed. And then it turns out… those were awfully small, and probably testicles. Chances are, we have an intersex dog.

…and they also found something suspicious on her liver. We’re waiting about a week for the biopsy results. We’re both kind of inclined not to go for chemo, but it’s going to be an oncologist who removes her stitches in a couple of weeks so we’ll see what they say.

[kxkvi]

That’s two right shoes, correct? But I like your shoe fashion choice(s).

I’m sorry to hear about your puppy. I hope she (or he or both) enjoys as much quality life with you as possible!

[Crashproof]

It was two left shoes. Really uncomfortable once I actually noticed it, like Wile E. Coyote suddenly noticing he’d run off a cliff.

[MalevolentPixy]

I imagine people might take it a little more seriously if they hadn’t been brainwashed by marketers.

And if it weren’t something that affects women more than men. Seriously, the bias against women in medicine is very real and very harmful.

There are, I will admit, worse things involving headache. Most people have at least heard of migraine and know it’s something bad. Cluster headaches are even harder for people to wrap their heads around (I don’t get them, but know someone who does. They’re nicknamed suicide headaches for a reason).

[kxkvi]

It was two left shoes.

Doh!

[Wisconsin_Platt]

As someone who frets over mismatched socks, I’d just go home.

Or Shoeless (provided my socks matched)

[knoxblox]

The neighbors have cranked up the speakers. There’s gonna be a fiesta tonight. This is Tijuana. There is no avoiding it.

Fuck sleep. Who needs it?

[nothingfuture]

My wife just lost three of her students.

If there is a god, it’s an asshole.
And I firmly believe there is no god.

[Wanderfound]

I always feel like I’m whining about petty things when I come to this thread.

—

It’s getting wintery down here, and most of my cold weather gear has fallen apart over the last few years. I used to be equipped for alpine expeditions, although that’s all in the past now.

But it was my birthday a few weeks ago, and my Mum bought me a lovely warm softshell jacket:

Malazan Men's Water Repellent Jacket v4

My hands don’t work real well these days. The outer three fingers on my right hand are pretty much non-functional, and what’s left isn’t perfect either.

So, today I dropped a lit cigarette on my new jacket, burning a hole in it. It seems like I can never keep anything nice for more than a few weeks.