Heads up: have not dropped off the face of the Earth

I wanted to make my situation clear so that no one worries…

At the BBS, which I reluctantly went back to after a while away because of how people (of all genders) were being treated, we’re once again getting an uptick in trolls making life difficult for women in particular, and while some of them are being moderated, there’s been more and more instances of their harassment of women succeeding. It’s been discussed in the private threads quite a bit, so that’s not just my perception.

The most recent (personal) example of that is a thread in which a known troll was condescending, mansplaining, etc., and I responded that I didn’t appreciate being silenced. No swearing, no attacking, just indicating that I was not OK with being silenced by their posts. It was ‘flagged by multiple users’ as being offensive, the post was removed, and I was told if I did it again I’d be suspended.

So, I’m taking a week to see how much better my life is if I’m not exposed to that environment. It might become permanent, but I don’t know yet. I just want to see if it really did add value to my existence or not. There are so many people there who do, of course, but I don’t think I can stay in the private lounge threads with them if I don’t maintain a certain level at the public forum, which I suspect is too high a price to pay these days.

I didn’t want to let the trolls succeed, but if the Powers That Be are aiding and abetting them, then they don’t have my back and that’s not acceptable.

So, I’m still around and doing OK (within the context of 2020!), just removing myself from the toxicity over there for a bit.


Good to hear that you’re OK


Like, is this what we have to do, really? REALLY? Because that is exactly how I feel about the whooooole group o’folks who think they got it goin’ on over the rest of us.

(Ironically, Mr. Arnaz was extremely privileged until Batista took over Cuba in 1933.)


Sorry to see that. Such a shame that it seems you were right to reluctantly go back, only to have your reluctance proven a little later. And that the BBBBS has taken such a turn. And that the Owl is overseeing said turn. And that you’re apparently not allowed to object to being silenced and tone policed. And, and, and…


This was my experience on bbs.boingboing.net a few years ago:

An admin had difficulty understanding my question “to what extent are trolls left alone or given latitude if they post in their bio they have brain damage or mental illness”. I tried reflection “what I am reading from you is ______, do I have that correct?” but that inflamed the admin more, and when I pointed out as examples elsewhere of the troll’s comments as evidence of illness he said “surely you don’t expect me to police the internet”

It was clear to me that Mr. Admin Interlocutor did not have the capacity to discern deeply and acutely I wanted a question answered.

Instead of mirroring my technique in checking we had mutual understanding he chose to “surely you…” mutating and warping my question into a ridiculing macroscopic request for internet policing. Because that was easier for him than acknowledging he didn’t understand, or perhaps more likely, wet-brain syndrome sufferers bring more material and content value to the enterprise/Discourse forum than people like I do.


It was about selling ads. Nothing else. Don’t blame yourself.


A warm and sincere thank you from me to you for reading and validating my experience.

Today was my epiphany that behaviours I label as toxic, abusive, manipulative, uncouth, and hostile are considered normal and acceptable by a frightening number of people. I saw this from a Firefox ‘Pocket’ article, and from other parts of the web, and sadly am seeing these behaviours coupled with cognitive distortions from a friend whose severe anxiety disorder and physical deterioration dovetail with each other at a time I must grieve and heal and restrict my energies and time to enriching, beneficial, restoring, and productive activities

But that frightening number of people have more dollars than sense.


I’m guessing that response was from Jason. Because it sure doesn’t sound like Ken.


I think we all saw something like that, which is why we are here.

Around these parts, we don’t take kindly to that sort of thing, but we do understand that some of us have different problems, and try to be accommodating to those who clearly mean well.

It’s not always easy to tell, but I think we all are at least doing the best we can. And that’s worked out pretty well so far.