How are you feeling?

Something peculiar I have noticed about people (more in meatspace) is that my feelings are sort-of important to them. By “sort of” I mean that people will remark about me feeling a certain way - as if they know - but that nobody ever, ever ASKS me how I feel. I mean, I think somebody did… about 20-25 years ago. Is it odd that my emotional states would be important enough for people to remark upon, but not important enough to actually ask about? Isn’t asking what you do if you need to know something about someone? Maybe it’s just me…

So, here’s a place for people to ask or talk about how they are feeling.

As for me: physically very cold, a little tired. Emotionally kind of alienated, annoyed at how cluttered the space is, I need to make space to practice. Happy to have a new TKD form to learn, and starting on some chili for tonight’s dinner. Challenged, with regards to some social programs I am working on. Socially, I feel engaging, like meeting people, organizing for future work.

How about you? How are you feeling now? Is that even something that people ask you, and that you talk about?


This is a nice thread!

I’ve been listening to a good book, The Language of Emotions. The author is so articulate about what emotions are and how they feel.

She teaches how to feel anger, sadness, and fear in ways that are not overwhelming. So, I’ve been working on exploring these emotions in the ways she describes, which is fascinating. Like, anger as just a way to create a boundary and not as fury.

Unfortunately I’m also feeling sick - my throat is sore, my ears are sensitive, my eyes are itchy, and my nose is dripping like a faucet - despite finishing up a course of antibiotics and a course of steroids. I’m tired, too, from not sleeping well because of the sickness.

It’s tough to pay attention to the subtle emotions when I feel overwhelmed with feeling crappy.

How are you feeling?


Are they wrong in what they think you’re feeling?

You probably wouldn’t want them to ask if they were right in the first place, but how close do they get?

I’m following @ChickieD 's lead and finishing this post with …

How are you feeling?


Thanks for asking.

Way too much going on so a bit overwhelmed, but could be a lot worse. I know the “Top Sekrit” info being discussed at tomorrows all-hands meeting so I can sit here being Smug. (That is unless, I’ve been given decoy information and then I’ll just be a startled as the next person)

Physically, not too bad overall. My broken toe has been actually fairly non-impactful to my daily life.

It’s above freezing outside and my office is actually a comfortable temperature for once.


I could make a list of about 2,000 things, very important things, that aren’t the way I think they should be. I’m like that dog in the cartoon that just stands, pulling, at the end of his chain, leaning into it, shaking, straining, unmoving. Day becomes night becomes day becomes night, the seasons change, the years pass, still he stands, straining, unmoving. How can I say these things are OK? They’re not OK. I do what I can.

I hurt my shoulder and my family doctor’s been unable to muster an ortho referral for a week. My insurance forces me to go through my doctor first. I’m waiting for the call. Make that a list of 2,001 things.

How are you feeling?


Thank you! I do get asked, “How are you?” or similar questions, but they seem to be asked more out of politeness rather than any actual desire for the true answer, so I often offer that I’m feeling fine, or some minor triviality related to the weather or the workload. I’ll answer here in more detail.

My attempts to reformat my perceptions are leaving me frustrated. I’m used to seeing the world, and all of my actions, in the light of how it can move me towards one goal, and even though I’ve made the decision to abandon that goal, the associated mental habits aren’t going away nearly as easily. I can pull back now, and see those habits as a manifestation of sheer desperation, but, like a phobia, I can’t let the rational part of my brain assert itself and cut out the irrational. If insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result, I don’t know how to describe doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different result that you no longer want. Or, at least, no longer want to want.

At work, I feel bitter, and abandoned. I have a coworker who is supposed to be sharing my workload, but he keeps not showing up for weeks at a time. He’s supposedly sick, and I feel horrible for doubting that’s the case, but the more time goes by, the less generous are my thoughts of him. At the very least, he’s being horribly inconsiderate by not giving enough details that we can make plans around his absences. I don’t need to know what’s wrong with him, but knowing how many hours he expects to work next week (and after hearing “I’ll be in tomorrow” enough times, it just becomes white noise) would be helpful.

At home, I feel like the fact that my driveway (thanks to my efforts and the milder weather) should soon be entirely clear of snow might be a good place to gather momentum from, in an attempt to give my place the deep-cleaning it so desperately needs. I always feel better when my house is in good shape, so that should in itself improve everything else, if I can follow through with it.

On the hill, I’ve been getting compliments on my skiing from an instructor, so that feels nice. My knees are not holding up as well as I’d like, given the conditioning I put in before the season and how little actual skiing I’ve been doing (my toes is frozing; I’ve finally given in and ordered boot heaters). But on the whole, I’m happy to be skiing again. It’s a catharsis I sorely need.

I’m getting slightly concerned by my inability to put down my phone for long. It’s another good reason for going up to where I ski, in that my Internet access doesn’t reach that area and I have to find other ways to occupy myself. I used to spend a lot more time reading novels, and the drop-off is uncharacteristic enough to be troubling.

Other than all of the above, I’m feeling fine.

How are you feeling?


I have a nasty headache and other aches and pains. I’m worried. I’m overwhelmed. I’m answering rules questions which are already addressed in the rules. (“How do I recognize x faction?” “It’s in the list of factions at the back of the rules, that includes info on how to recognize them.” “Yes, but how do I recognize x faction?” …) I’m trying to do research, too, but it’s hard without accessible libraries. I’m waiting to hear back from the doctor, been waiting since November. I’m frustrated with disinformation. (Especially “Nazis were socialists” “neo-Nazis haven’t been killing anyone” and “antifa have been killing everyone”.) I’d had to interrupt hormones because my old clinic wasn’t accessible in 2013, and I didn’t find a new ob/gyn 'till 2014, and I still have scars from that, and I have gained weight due to trouble exercising, so I am uncomfortable with my body. I still have a cold since about the 20th. I always have postnasal drip and nausea. I dread that the flooding will cause mold trouble, and dread the repair noise. I am already having trouble with the industrial fan noise for the industrial dehumidifiers, but better than not having them. My ear protectors hurt like hell. I’m lonely. I want a gaming group but don’t know how to find a welcoming accessible one.


I feel like a lot of things have gone wrong or weird lately. Sewage backup in the basement. Packages getting delayed or not delivered. Insurance transition screwed up. Live plants that were ordered back in the summer being shipped in 4 degree weather and thus frozen solid and probably not live. Unexpected expenses of various kinds.
And so on.

And of course there’s the background radiation of living in the Trumpian States.

Physically: recovering from a sore back from the weekend’s cleanup efforts (there’s still more work to do). Dry skin and irritated nose and throat from winter, not entirely mitigated by a humidifier and various products.

But I seem to have dodged the flu and strep going around. And I’m mostly sleeping better than I had been for the last few months.

Emotionally: Generally stressed and tired. There’s a lot that needs doing, I can’t do it all at once and I can’t do some of it at all.

I nearly always arrive at work pissed off from my commute, and that sets the tone for the morning. The sooner that discourteous and barely-aware human drivers are replaced by robots the better. That anger has been going on for a couple of years now. I got one of those mechanical tally counters on the theory I can count instances of assholery rather than ranting about them – and while it did teach me that really most drivers are just fine, it hasn’t made the anger at the bad ones go away. I am amazed at how many people lately don’t seem to know you have to turn the knob ALL THE WAY to really turn on your headlights, instead of parking lights or daytime running lights or whatever.

Most of the supposed turning points I felt like I had come to in the past few months have not really resulted in much positive change.

On the bright side, my musical endeavors are going well, and I feel like I can rely on getting at least temporary joy, peace, and/or satisfaction from that.

How are you feeling?




I’m a little worried because I have a publication that is taking for fucking ever and I have tenure to think about. But I had an ultrasound today, and my baby is doing well. A little stressed about money, but have been enjoying the mild running weather.

Overall, pretty good.

How about you?


That’s very true. And I find it can be feeling crappy from work as well as illness. Thinking more about this topic today I reflected upon how I often fail to distinguish being from doing, so my initial response is “feeling like” I am a list of things to do, and the status of many different projects. It’s weird because I am very introspective, but I always intellectualize because my emotions are such fleeting, ephemeral things that I am aware of, yet fairly detached from. Having my attention redirected towards the body and self-care at least re-aligns my perspective to the present moment.

Usually, their guess is not accurate. I vaccilate very expressive, immediate, and guileless - to so stone-faced that people wonder if I am alive. Not easy to read. I suppose that when I am concentrating I look pensive, and people assume that I am unhappy or displeased then. Paradoxically, if I know that I am coming off as looking too serious, I try to joke around with people a bit - but that often makes it worse. It seems that people expect an easier, more comfortable demeanor for joking around. It sounds predictably autistic for me to say “There’s no way you would know how somebody feels just by looking at them!”, but it is often true of me, at least.

Somewhat related, I have noticed that I make drastically different impressions upon people in different media/settings. Online I think I come off as something of a crank, verbose and abstract. On phone people seem to find me very engaging and want to meet me. In person, people often panic at just the sight of me - and it is all my “vibe” - it’s not that I look like or do anything unusual. It’s sort of an uncanny-valley effect, like they ran into a scary feral robot. But, of course, obsessing about why people might find one freakish is generally counter-productive.

In some ways, it that has really hurt my social skills. I often talk about myself at exhaustive length not so much out of egotism, as that people sometimes panic when I ask them about themselves, which has reenforced the behavior of me being reluctant to ask questions of people, or not expecting them to answer.


I tripped on my robe a little over a week ago and fell, twisting and pulling my leg and landing on my hipbone. It was feeling better but then I slipped on some ice a couple of days ago and twisted it again. It’s not bad, but the fact that I could fall and hurt my hip just makes me feel old. :frowning_face:

Excited about work, I have new things to learn and do, and the past week has been mostly learning and brainstorming for a change (vs trying to get things done by a deadline). Happy to be home after a business trip, but tired. :relieved:

Staying positive about the new year. Last year was rough, but this year can be different. I have some good things that I want to do in my life that I’ve been getting myself set up for and fun things to do to relax. :smiley:

How are you feeling?


On sunday night, the pipes for the sprinkler system burst. My brother and I got the stuff in our apartment out of the way, although some notes and two books got damaged. I spent all night getting buckets under the leaks, and emptying them. On monday, the first remediation crew arrived with the heavy industrial fans and dehumidifiers. On wednesday, they removed them. Today the second remediation crew arrived. Next tuesday they’re supposed to remove them. I’m utterly haggard from the noise bombardment, but I don’t have any quiet place to go and get my ear protection off. I can’t take the bus. I am in no shape to risk the intersections between here and the nearest parks, and anyway, it’s supposed to rain tonight and freeze tomorrow.


I’m sorry to hear that.

We learned about a taxi program that my father was able to get on when he was older where he could get unlimited rides for something like $30 a month. I don’t know if there is something like that in your area for people with disabilities. I think it was administered through the county. A library would be a nice place for a respite.


Thanks. I’m not aware of anything, and the regular taxi websites often fail.


We learned about it through the social workers at his senior apartment building. Do you have access to a social worker?


Not at this point, not with my disabilities.


Like what’s he’s singin’ about, that’s how I feel.

Hm… Meh. Still.