I Called to Cancel Walmart's Predatory Balance Protection Plan

As we covered in the previous article: Walmart's Balance Protection Plan is a predatory, unfathomable mess

Today I called in to cancel it. The CS Agent I reached was really polite about it. Yes, Walmart has a cancellation script dance that you have to go through. It took about four minutes, all told. And at the end of the day, the agents and grunts on the ground are our friends, not our enemies: they hate working for these predatory companies just as much as we hate dealing with said companies.

And so the not-so epic saga of the Balance Protection Plan (that doesn’t protect you, but lines company pockets) is over, at least for me.


If I’m calling them, then absolutely.

If they are calling me, then I’m not nearly as inclined to be polite.

Fortunately, most of my cold callers are robots. And, yes I’ll be among the first against the wall when the robots rise up, but fuck you if you are calling me, I pick up and you’re trying to sell me something.


Yeah thats annoying. By the way I need to talk to about the car accident you had in the last 5 years.
You see we can double glaze your car for you.