Love in the Time of COVID-19

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Journal of the Corona Year

5/08 - Well That’s a Relief

Sometime earlier this week, I can remember when, I checked my mail. Among some unnecessary things was a letter from the IRS. This bothered me. Why was the IRS writing to me in early May? I’m not rich after all. I’m the kind of person they might audit.

Nervously I opened the envelope. The letter was printed on a thin piece of nearly transparent paper. It felt cheap. My eyes were immediately assaulted by the huge, bold, pointy signature of Donald Trump. So I realized what it was. It told me what a great job was being done in Washington on my behalf and I would soon be receiving $500 or something by direct deposit.

So that’s it? The crisis has been at full-swing for approximately the past two months, and all I get is $500? If I was in need I would be happy for anything, but it really wouldn’t solve any problems.

Furthermore, why am I even getting this? I didn’t request it. So far I am still employed. It seemed to me like this money could go to some better use. Donald, you will have to try harder to buy my vote.

The next day I looked up the IRS’s COVID-19 page to see how to refuse it. There is no way to refuse. I will have to wait for the deposit to be made, write a check to the IRS for the total amount and mail it back to them. Writing a check to the IRS never feels good.

I really wish I had kept that letter. I didn’t even take a picture of it. I put it directly in the recycling bin.

So this happened sometime earlier this week. Possibly Tuesday or Wednesday. Why am I writing about it now? Because time seems to be slipping away from me. Hours melt away. This quarantine must have me operating at some lethargic speed. I’m writing this at 12:20 on Saturday morning and I have no idea how it got to be so late.

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Suggestion: don’t return it. Use it to purchase gift certificates to local businesses you frequent that are currently closed - your hair stylist, a restaurant, etc. it will make a difference to them.

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The Red Square 9 May parade was cancelled because of the pandemic but in neighbouring Belarus the parade went ahead in the centre of the capital Minsk, with a concert and festive fireworks planned as part of the programme.

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That is what I’m thinking of doing. In fact I have been even without this payment.

Last night I ordered a mattress. First mattress I will have owned since 2011. It would have been nice to have tested it out, but that’s not possible at the moment.

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Okay. I couldn’t find the original on YouTube, I found this. And I decided to post it because, really, this is the utter END in themed weddings!

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Quarantine-while (a tip of the specs to Stephen Colbert):

I’m trying not worry myself sick over the fact that the my next-door neighbors to the north of my house have now or did have a household member with COVID-19. And people who don’t live there keep coming and going. Masks seem to be an on-again/off-again thing, but literally. Saw one person go to their house wearing gloves but no mask.

I called the Mayor’s office line, which is basically a voicemail box (and leaving a message there about help for mowing my lawns ultimately got my objective achieved), and left a VM saying that an ambulance had been there, may be COVID-19, and how I didn’t want to call the cops because we’ve had problems in the past. So, we’ll see what happens.

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Elon is the biggest thing keeping me from considering a Tesla as my next vehicle. I’m still a few years from having to replace my truck, so I’m hopeful there will be some other manufacturer with similar price\performance of the Model 3.

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Please, let the door hit him in the ass and the ankles, because that fucking hurts.

But I don’t think the US is good enough for him. He should move production to Bangladesh. Himself, too.

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Journal of the Corona Year

5/09 - I Score!

I took a walk today up to 80th Street and 3rd Avenue. There are three shops in that area and there were three things I needed.

I had last been in this area three weeks ago on a Saturday. The three stores I was planning to visit were open at that time, but schedules are fluid these days. There was no guarantee they would be open or that they would have what I was looking for.

The first store I went to, Peppino’s, was open and they had what I wanted — a $20 of chianti. I saw it the last time I was there. I had no idea if it would be good or not, but there is only one way to find that out.

The next store I went to was Walgreen’s. There was one thing I was looking for there — some type of hair trimmer. The situation was getting critical. If I didn’t find anything soon I would have to take the Kojak option.

I walked up and down the aisles looking. I couldn’t find anything, nit even in the shaving department. Could it be they were kept behind the counter? Looking behind the counter was tough because of the check-out line with everyone keeping six-feet apart. But there it was. One left. Technically it was a hair detailer with attachments for cultivating various lengths of beard stubble. But, I thought, if it can handle a beard I can do something useful with it on top of my head.

Because the hair trimmers were behind the counter at this location, customers were slightly dissuaded from buying them. It was due to that minuscule interruption to people’s buying habits that there was that one left.

The third store I went to was a True-Value. It was open and they had the paintable caulk I was looking for. So, I was shopping three-for-three. A rare victory, with a pandemic or otherwise.

When I got he trimmer out of he box I found it had an attachment specifically for “Head Hair,” so I wasn’t so crazy buying it.

It took about half-an-hour to work its way through all the hair that had accumulated on top of my head for the past two months. I cut it down to 6mm, perhaps I went too far. I was aiming for a Michael Stipe, but I think I ended up with more of a Mussolini.

I’m very glad I found this trimmer and didn’t have to go with the Tele Savalas pealed-egg appearance. It’s a little shocking to see myself with my hair practically gone. Generally I need some hair on my head to distract from the rest of my face.

By the time I was finished it was getting easy. I was feeling so confident I adjusted the hair attachment down to 2mm and blended-in the back and sides. I think with a bit of practice I could let the top grow in a bit and keep the sides and back trim. We will see. I might grow to like my new plague hair style.

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That sounds like an episode of My Name Is Earl - S1E17, he tries to give the government $500 to make up for taxes that he never paid, but they didn’t ask for it so they can’t accept it and refuse to allow him to pay it. So then he has to come up with some wacky alternative schemes to try to pay the money back.

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I always let my wife do the cut from our winter hair to our summer hair. But I have a little Remington hand trimmer that we all user to keep it buzzed. I have two more on order but they’re not showing delivery until June.

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I love this reply:

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I think what I’m going to do is subscribe and donate to various organizations. I think: NY Times, WNYC, Planned Parenthood and the ACLU. Something like that.

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Being married puts you at a distinct advantage.

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According to the Robert Koch Institute (RKI), Germany’s reproduction rate - the number of people each confirmed patient infects - is now above 1.

This means the number of infections is now rising in the country.

The report came as thousands of Germans gathered on Saturday calling for a total end to the lockdown.

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Often! Our extended family living arrangements would be horrible for most people right now but it works for us.

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