This was more thorough than I thought. Thanks for sharing.
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I know to some extent we all are shaped by our traumas, but I was wondering what the conditions would be to raise a mentally healthy woman, as imagined by the people of Elsewhere Cafe.
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Geez, I’d start with a remote island where there are no men.
Seeing how that includes me, I would miss y’all, though.
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“No men” is one thing, but then I think of all the things daughters learn from fathers in healthy relationships and… that’s not it.
I keep thinking it has to be flipped around. The problem is a small percentage of men being jerks. They’re the ones everyone needs to be educated about.
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My favourite part: CBS sent the lawyers video of Dushku swearing, to prove she wasn’t “ladylike” on set. What they missed is that she was swearing because someone was harassing her.
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You’re right, I was thinking about the problem in absolutes. But I hope nobody’s takeaway was that I was being MRA-reactionary in my thinking. I was thinking that if you can prevent them (girls) from interaction with toxicity, then there’s no problems.
Soooo…
But being on the male side, I feel that the problem with toxicity is way more ingrained and very prevalent at different levels, so it almost feels like there’s no alternative other than a clean slate. Your WW reference makes me want to equate male toxicity with Marvel’s Hydra. Cut off one head, two more rise up in it’s place.
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The toxicity is with women too. Biggest open misogynist I ever met was a woman.
It’s like The Gate to Women’s Country, where they are social engineering the toxicity from the men and the women. It’s got to be holistic.
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My mom used to have her classes read that story.
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Funny, but accurate: https://www.salon.com/2018/12/16/lessons-of-maria-butina-are-men-too-easily-flattered-by-young-women-to-be-trusted-with-power/
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Pretty much every place I’ve worked had us take training on how not to be duped on social media. Basically, all it takes is someone pretending to be a naive, innocent young woman, and middle aged men everywhere practically trip over themselves giving “her” confidential if not classified info.
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IRL, drunk 20-something douchettes coming up and “jiggling” at me until I make clear that I’m not as desperate as I look. Or maybe they sometimes feel sorry for me? As flattering as it is (some of them have become friends), sometimes it’s blatantly sinister. Or just sad and boring, like being a middle aged man who writes at a bar because the gaping emptiness at home isn’t conducive to creativity.
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Now I’m kind of curious about how sinister. Like, wake-up-in-a-bathtub-full-of-ice-missing-a-kidney kind of sinister? or something else?
I’ve definitely been annoyed by a drunk girl at the bar once or twice, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt menaced.
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99.9% of the time, it’s just that young women don’t have much money, so they’re hoping you’ll enjoy looking at them and talking to them enough to pay for their drinks. Some will also believe that they then ‘owe’ you some sort of favor (a hand job, whatever) in return, but don’t assume. They’re not feeling sorry for you OR trying to rob you of your cash (or the country of its state secrets).
Basically, they’re just thinking about what they want in the moment, not about YOU at all.
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Yup. I got that.
The sinister stuff was the long process of registering for cigarette coupons. Not needed now. Bad joke.
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I just have one problem with that. Evidence points towards Jason Momoa of being a jerk. Tearing up your coworker’s books because they don’t pay enough attention to you?
Gigantic red flag.
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Wait… wut?
Agreed; that was a bummer to read.
Like, grow the fuck up, dude.
I wonder if he tries shit like with Lisa Bonet…
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