Not Feminism 101

This could go elsewhere, but I think the fact that the studio wanted to cut Mona Lisa deserves to be in the Not Feminism 101.

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This is what gets me about hollywood. They can make entire contemporary modern movies where there are just no women… and thats normal. And to me, thats a chilling insight into the mind of (some) men. That we literally don’t even exist, not even in the background. I find that terrifying.

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Right? And also, like, she MADE the movie. I mean, Joe Pesci is great, but she steals the show.

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She won a fucking Oscar for that movie! LOL

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They’re still trying to write Mrs. Einstein out of the photoemission work.

And “Nobel for Jo Bell” was a rallying cry of some Cambridge students in the 1970s.

When someone mentions it (and I think she’s very tired of the subject, so I don’t on the very rare occasions I encounter her) Jo Bell-Burnell tends to say “well that’s how it was at the time”, which is diplomatic. The problem is, it’s still like that a lot now. I guess it is asking a lot of people older than I am to jump up and down and shout about the state of the world when I’m hardly transforming it myself, but I’d like a little more rage rather than weary acceptance.

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Just watched it with my daughter and he friends and they were totally girl crushing on her. They are so great. I love watching female empowerment movies with them. We also watched Erin Brockovich.

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SSDD:

Careers dashed, fields abandoned because men won’t meet basic standards of decency. And then they have the nerve to say women aren’t cut out for the rigour of it.

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Of course thr El Reg comment section is the worst:

https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2017/12/15/microsoft_intern_assault_case/

Bunch a wankers.

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The Reg seems to have become a magnet for US trolls. I think it’s because they allow naughty words. But the ratio is still generally good; currently my post complaining about US trolls taking their weird obsessions to the Reg is running at 14 15 17 up and 2 down. It was 11 up and 1 down at one point but then, I think, the US trolls started to finish work on the East Coast.

Edit:

There’s a lovely example here. Someone complains about people not knowing basic grammar and then writes:

And by the way, some of us still believe in rights, such as the right trade freely without thugs like you wanted to force people to sell you what you want at gun point.

This is apparently about net neutrality.

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Do you remember this story when it broke?

“We should try kissing, I haven’t been smoking for six months,” he told her. “Then we can kiss after the mission and compare it. Let’s do the experiment now.” Lukyanyuk then attempted to yank her out of the line of sight of the two cameras that kept a constant surveillance on the crew and its activities. He aggressively kissed and manhandled her twice, even as she protested loudly.

This was following a 10 minute brawl which had occurred earlier in the evening, drawing blood from the commander and one of his compatriots. Lapierre would later say it seemed to be the result of both men gunning for her sexual attention.

…the Russian scientific coordinator, claimed that the brawl was a “friendly fight” and that Lapierre had “ruined the mission, the atmosphere, by refusing to be kissed.”

And that only got attention because it was on camera and other countries quit in protest over how the sole woman on this mission was treated.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say every woman who dares enter a male dominated field has stories like this. And I for one and glad this is all coming to light, and don’t give two shits about any #notallmen that get caught in the cross fire. Sorry not sorry. Comeuppance is here!

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And more: if your argument is #notallmen, I’m going to ASSUME it’s your guilty conscience getting worried.

I’ve had way too much life experience at this point to fall for the innocent act.

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I don’t even like Morgan Spurlocks mea culpa! He’s all “yes I’m the problem” while also trying to spin it out as “we’re all the problem” + “I was abused as a child” + “I’m an alcoholic” because you know what dude? Lotta of us had troubled childhoods, lotta of us had issues with substance abuse, but NOT a lot of us turned around and victimized others. Fuck you dude, you earned your comeuppance! You don’t get to apologize and blame your past! Thats not how this works!

Bring them all down, I’m here for this.

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You know, yesterday, my husband was like “Something I never hear about in the conversation about sexual harassment is if the guy might have Asperger’s.”

I went back to a tweet and blog post I had written about a sex bias incident I encountered at a conference. Like 1 in 10 tweet replies to me were asking if maybe the men involved were on the spectrum and how could I castigate these poor, NNT men?

And he was like :exploding_head::scream: I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before.

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I know Aspies (from my time in FOnline) and they were nowhere near as sexist and racist as NTs [neurotypicals]. NTs seem to be the only ones who take deliberate pleasure in causing misery.

shakes head

Fuckin’ men.

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Being a sexist asshole doesn’t make you “aspie” and fuck those guys that try to throw people on the spectrum under the bus to distract from their assholeishness!

Heck, most people I know on the spectrum are ace or gender-fluid (or poly or bi or pan…) cuz they don’t grok gender roles or sexual stereotypes.

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I had a guy in one of my lab sections when I was a TA try to tell me that I couldn’t prohibit him from creeping on women in class because he had Asperger’s and thought he was being normal. I escalated that one straight to the dean.

That same student tried it again, a couple years later in my friend’s class. She was all tied up in knots, panicked about being ableist if she punished him. And that’s the real challenge - she didn’t know how to respond. She was genuinely concerned about discrimination, but also was very low-information about Asperger’s and what rights and responsibilities both she and the student had. The desire to help is there, and real, and was being badly exploited by a serial creep.

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Men aren’t interested in fixing sexism and racism - because they benefit from suppressing others. Even ones that claim to “get it”. Especially them.

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There is an unfortunate stereotype that being non-neurotypical basically just means someone who doesn’t get social conventions. Add the unfortunate stereotype that men all want to be horrible sexists, they’re just restrained by polite society, and it all explodes from there. This “Big Bang Theory” seems to be really popular for some reason.

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Oh man, the number of “allies” I lose because I won’t hand out cookies is amazing. LOL
Sorry not sorry. If your allyship is dependant on cookies then you were never an ally to begin with.

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Or, you know, because can be non-cis, non-het, or gender non-conforming just because of who we are. I don’t think not grokking cis and het norms would make us non-those. I think being non-those can make it harder to grok cis and het norms. For example, for years, I thought all het men wanted to be women, and perhaps vice-versa, and thought het couples were living vicariously through each other.

And being aspie/autistic doesn’t excuse actions. But it does mean different gaze patterns-- we may instinctively avoid eye contact, we may stare, and if we try to fit in, we may learn the wrong ways to fit in. And it does mean more potential for miscommunication or for misjudging the appropriate times/places for communication. (Always consider whether the other person can say no, and whether they know they can say no, and whether they can get away from you if they need space to themselves.)

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