Not Feminism 101

Oh for sure. I didn’t mean to generalize across the entire spectrum. The few friends I have that are on the spectrum just do not fit into the societal confines of gender and sexual orientation. And awkwardness is always acceptable, abuse/harassment never. Hence why I bristle at the idea that “aspies” will do X. Because its just not true dammit!

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If he does, he’s a creep with Asperger’s. Being a creep and having Asperger’s aren’t mutually exclusive.

Although it’s funny how they always say they have Asperger’s after they get in trouble, and before they get in trouble there are precisely zero indicators that they are on the spectrum… :thinking:

I have caused a lot of awkwardness, especially I was younger, because I didn’t have the social skills not to. It was more that I just didn’t know the proper etiquette, and my mannerisms set off a lot of red flags with people. I couldn’t even really explain what my deal was, because at that time, nobody had heard of Asperger’s or thought that autism could be high-functioning.*Really, this was mostly a series of learning experiences for me, because I didn’t intend any of the awkwardness and was just trying to go about my day. I’ve been yelled at enough to know what to not do, so I don’t do that. Also, I’ve come to understand a little bit of what women deal with day to day, so I don’t take it personally that I have to make efforts to not look creepy.

Creepers, on the other hand, know what they’re doing and don’t care. If you tell them what they’re doing and ask them to stop, they won’t stop.

*I dislike functioning labels, but I’m using “high-functioning” to mean anywhere between “reasonably independent” and “not institutionalized” in this context.

I wouldn’t say most or because, but I generally agree with you. There seem to be a lot of us who either aren’t straight, although I don’t know why that is. Also, I don’t understand traditional gender roles and sexual stereotypes, and I actually think most of this stuff is toxic, yet I still consider myself a cisgender male even if I somehow don’t fulfill society’s expectation of what a man is supposed to be like.

[sigh] Yes you can. Unless he wants to make women uncomfortable, he should show some kind of effort toward not making them uncomfortable. Even if someone tells him not to do A, B, and C, and that’s a small drop in the bucket, at least that’s an effort and a sign that he wants to learn. And of course direct communication is always appreciated. It’s not that he’s expected to be suddenly become normal overnight, just that he is conscious of behavior that makes others uncomfortable, and tries to stop this behavior. This shouldn’t be so hard.

I also know the experience of having made serious social mistakes but not having realized it. It can be frustrating if something I think is acceptable is seen as unacceptable and I don’t understand why. However, this is totally different and is a slap in the face to anyone who has actually struggled with this. If I’m making someone uncomfortable, I should apologize and try to make amends, end of story.

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I just mean most of the ones that I am friends with, I don’t mean most in general. Though there is an implicit bias there cuz they gotta be happy-mutants to be friends with in the first place… so now its a whole horse/cart thing! LOL

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Yeah, probably.

I’d say most of the Aspies/auties I know are bi/pan/ace/nonbinary etc., except I know a lot of them so I can’t say most. But those I have more in common with tend to be more LGBTQ, ace, nonbinary, etc. Like does attract like.

I still agree with @MarjaE that “because” doesn’t sound right. Trans people are just trans because they’re trans.

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Just so we’re clear, he was lying. He hadn’t requested accommodations from the student disability services people, and refused to cooperate with any measures to involve a psycologist (on the school’s dime!) as part of adjudicating the dispute. He was a bad actor looking to get away with something. I wasn’t privvy to the proceedings, but he was removed from the class. He almost got away with it with my friend, though, because she had more ableist propaganda in her head (that people on the spectrum can’t deal with social behavior; that the ADA means schools have to do whatever a person with a disability says to accommodate them) than actual information.

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I’m not sure we disagree about anything? If we are disagreeing I have no idea what we’re disagreeing about…

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We’re not disagreeing, just violently agreeing :wink:

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Sure sounds like it.

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The (admittedly limited) experience I have with individuals on the spectrum is exactly this. Simply saying “that was kind of creepy because [explanation]” sometimes leads into a discussion that dives deep into the minutae of [explanation] but it’s born from a desire to understand and then avoid doing that creepy thing in the future. It’s not “well, I am on the spectrum, so just deal with it!”

They don’t want to hurt anybody, and the response is generally an attempt at course correction so that they don’t keep doing it.

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Yes, please.

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I agree with this in that the Palins are horrible, but it doesn’t mean DV is any less horrible just because it happens to people we love to hate. It’s the flip-side of “just because you like someone’s politics doesn’t mean that they get a free pass on horrible behaviour.”

Also, the note that “white trash” can be seen as racist against black people, because it’s true. There is the implication that they are separate from poor black people (sure, they’re trash, buy at least they are white) and that the rest of white people are good people. I can safely say: we’re not.

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It’s funny 'cos it’s true.

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Especially in Valdosta GA!

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I tried to post SNL’s “Holiday Jewelry” skit, but can’t find an embed that works, if anyone knows a workaround…

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Good point.
There’s also the implication that to be white and poor means there’s something wrong with you, but to be black and poor is just how things are for them.

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Last week in a court in the UK:

Plaintiff’s barrister is trying to prove that the defendant had knowing entered into an oral contract; defendant denies it and says that we was pressured to sign a long written contract referencing it but had not understood it and was not given time to obtain legal advice.
Barrister: So why did you sign the contract if you did not understand it?
Defendant: My wife told me to.
Barrister: Do you really expect me to believe that you take legal advice from your wife?
Judge, interrupting: “Why not, Mr. So-and-so? My husband does.”

(Not quite the famous Lady Chatterley case-losing quote of “Is this a book you would want your wife or servants to read”, but in the same category.)

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