Oh, how I dream of a place for me

Let’s play a game. Imagine you came into money / you won a contest for this / a miracle occurred, and you could design a home any way you wanted. What would be in it? Why? Or do you already live there?

Oh, and no disparaging people’s dreams. If someone wants to live in a cave, or a trailer, or an RV, or even a tent, remember, it’s their dream, not yours. You don’t have to live there.


I’m a city type and would be quite happy to find myself living in a major city - NYC and Tokyo top my list of desirable places to live.

I’ve lived in the Seattle area for the past 15 years but I’d never call it home.


Mine would be:

  1. Relatively small, one level. 2 bedrooms + den (for my books and gaming), full kitchen, with a living room and sun room, and a patio. Laundry room, and the entrance to the patio are off the kitchen. Yes, I have been in a house with my dream layout. It’s just me and one or two cats. I don’t need McMansion space.

  2. Sinks would be levers, so I can turn them on and off with my elbows. This is great for when you’ve got stuff on your hands and don’t want to gunk up the taps.

  3. Full size dishwasher. Washer and dryer. A built-in rack in the laundry room where I can hang-dry things when it’s raining.

  4. Soaker tub in the bathroom. In-line water pumps so the hot water doesn’t run out.

  5. Stand up freezer so I can more easily find things when I make batches and freeze them.

  6. Blackout curtains for every window.

  7. Catwalks for the cat(s).

  8. Hard floors throughout

  9. Built in A/C and filtration.

  10. But most importantly, it would be mine.


I pretty much do already live there. The current place needs the bedroom carpet replaced, the kitchen upgraded, and a bunch of repairs (AC repair is scheduled at last, yay!). Okay, and while we’re dreaming without a budget, I want to replace the dining room set.

But the location is perfect – a walkable, old-fashioned neighbourhood just 10km from downtown and a 5 minute walk from the north shore of Lake Ontario.

And the size is perfect – 60 square metres (that’s 648 sq ft), a one bedroom plus den with a little balcony looking out onto the local high street. I’m still decluttering, but it’s way tidier than it used to be, and on the days it is tidy cleaning is super-easy.

If I won that contest/came into money and actually got to spend more quality time here, I’d be quite contented.


The one I was in that with my dream layout was in Qualicum Beach. Maybe fifteen minutes walk from the ocean.

I fell in love with that place. That’s why all of my dream stuff is now just interior design and appliances.

I think I forgot to mention the double-decker oven. And a glasstop range. But, yeah, a cozy little cottage near the sea, that’s my dream.


It would be quiet, dry, and have a good library. Given my hobbies, table space would be important. I often dream of treehouses. Some climbing may be involved. Birdsong doesn’t bother me like voices, dogs, and construction noise. Some special phone arrangements would be nice.


I’d like a nice, little cottage with a detached studio and high-speed internet. Preferably in a country with socialized health care and temperate weather.


I’m good with my location, and with my house, except that I really want to finally have a real kitchen. We tore out a really bad old one (with cotton wrapped wiring, and nothing at a 90 degree angle) and then all hell broke loose before we could finish. 18 years later, I’m still cooking in the motherfucking makeshift kitchen in the utility room. I just want a goddamn kitchen, in the actual fucking kitchen where it ought to be.

To be clear, money is not the only problem in the way, but that’s definitely part of it. I’m just saying, that if you want to test your relationship, remodel a house together.


Wow, cotton-wrapped wiring. Haven’t seen that in decades, and then on an antique lamp or some such.

Happy right here. Neighbors are really nice, and it’s walking distance from a small city downtown. Room for the cats, and for us.


Oh, it would be one hell of a miracle. When I was a kid, I used to design my own… well, superhero lairs. I mean floorplans containing everything I could think of that I’d want. Huge garages, laboratories, libraries, observatories, secret passages, gymnasia, theaters. Kinda like those myriad cutaways of the Baxter Building (home of the Fantastic Four) they used to periodically publish:

…except mine were always just floorplans, not isometric cutaways, since I never could draw worth a damn.

In a somewhat more realistic situation (but only somewhat), I’ve always wanted Bag End. The coziness! The pantries! All those rooms and pegs for visitors! The bucolic setting! I could do without the circular doorways and passages (I’m 6’2", and at a scale where I wouldn’t be constantly clobbering my head, the wasted space would be excessive), but I dearly love a well-furnished hobbit hole.

But anyway, I really like my current house, and intend to die before I ever move again. In fact, I have instructed my heirs (currently 11 and 9 years of age) that upon my lamentable demise, I would like all my useful organs donated to worthy recipients, then my skeleton denuded and cleaned of all fleshy bits, then varnished and carefully wired together in a fully poseable fashion, so I can be kept on the ledge above our staircase, gazing out the westward window to the distant mountains. This guy’s holding my place for me:

Also, they can bring me downstairs for Halloween and other special occasions. I’m not above holding hats and coats as well. My kids, bless 'em, are fully on-board. My wife, a bit less so, so I’m just gonna have to outlive her.

Anyway, I do want to make some additions to the manse once my ship rolls in. An addition to the side of the garage will hold all my band gear, amps, guitars, and a wee recording studio. I want a pool and (especially) a hot tub. I want a dumbwaiter, and a couple secret passages. I want more library space. I wouldn’t say no to a sauna outside next to the pool. I’d like an upgraded home theater situation. I’d like a lift inside the garage, so I never have to crawl underneath a car again. I’d like a woodshop, maybe behind the garage. I’d love a sizable tree house atop the avocado tree in our backyard, accessible from my bedroom window via zipline. I need a widow’s walk and a goddamned crow’s nest up top. A small family cemetery in the front yard, even if it’s entirely unoccupied. (Too many of my family were cremated, or are planning cremation.)

Oh, and a hidden underground bunker. With a secret back door. Because.




I dream of living in Fiji.

No specifics about the actual structure itself, other than I want it to be logically planned as well as aesthetically pleasing; not to mention ecologically sustainable, maybe powered by geothermal energy.


This is basically me in Minecraft. I build a monster-proof building (think open plan bungalow with lots of glass on top of a tall stone tower), build connected subterranean gardens, and then just enjoy it until I get bored and build the same thing over again in a location with a different view.


I forgot to mention, I want to get a new roof made of those solar shingles Elon Musk blathers on about, along with a sizable battery array, and then get off Edison’s grid altogether. I get plenty of sun in my neighborhood, but my local power company is thoroughly evil and can kiss my cracked derriere.


Outside of a city where I’m close enough to drive in for social interaction, but can be alone most of the time. Internet, but not attached to the power grid (solar/wind/hydro). If possible, wouldn’t mind a small garden in a greenhouse or dome.

inside the house, nothing fancy. the usual (bedrooms, kitchen, bathrooms, laundry room) all ecofriendly as possible.

If I can’t get that on the surface, build it all in a huge cave, wait out the coming apocalypse.


I think we’re up to 8 or 9 house remodels. You speak the truth.

That’s Beautiful.


Something small, straight forward. I really like the design aesthetic of a lot of the houses in PR. Park underneath the living space and have your rooftop patio.

I do need some place to tinker, so give me a shipping container out on the back of the lot so I can rebuild that into my shop\storage.


I actually really like the house I live in. Two additions I’d like are:

A game room with a large table (ideally one with multiple layers and an easy way to bring one to the top, so we can have multiple ongoing games) that is also somehow magically catproof. Because cats have a tendency to jump on the board and knock pieces around, and by the time you find out they’ve done that, you don’t remember where the pieces were.

A secret hidey-hole down a tunnel from the basement, lined with cushions and full of blankets, a soft, warm, comforting place where we could go when we just really don’t want to deal with people.

But knowing myself and my family, the hidey-hole would be rather crowded and would become our new living room.


Basically, a small castle/manor house.

  • Constructed out of blocks of stone, laser cut to fit seamlessly with no air holes
  • Windows tall and too narrow for a person to squeeze through
  • All the secret passages
  • Dumbwaiter and serving hatch
  • Completely wheelchair accessible
  • Wired for network connectivity and automation
  • Moat and drawbridge
  • Under-floor water pipes for heating
  • Self-sustainably powered and watered as much as possible

… It’s not remotely realistic, but you’re asking for pie-in-the-sky ideas.


I’d really love a gothed out Victorian, but I also want a very practical, purpose built art studio. Exterior in gray and purple, some wrought iron.

The studio could be a separate structure in the back but it might be a challenge to get an exterior that wouldn’t clash with the house.

If I didn’t have to think about maintaining it I’d also love a pool, probably an enclosed one so I could use it anytime.

Nice back yard with a veggie garden and a little area set up for tea. Small spooky fountain, at least one giant tree.

I’d want a more modern size kitchen but I’d like modern, easy to clean appliances designed to look more antique.

I might want to hide my electronics in some cabinets, and I’d still have a big TV but with a curtain to hide it.

I like the idea of a dedicated library and my partner would get an office. We like to have a “trip space” which also gets used for yoga, meditation, and exercise. Again it would be fun to have modern exercise equipment that just looked older.

Instead of a dedicated sewing room I’d want more of a niche near the living area so I’m less secluded when working. I’d have a cabinet in the living area for current chainmail projects.

I’d want a garage that looks like a carriage house, divided with a space for the car and a space for my workshop.

I’d want bigger closets than you usually get in a Victorian. I tend to see guest rooms as a waste but I might want to include one b/c it would feel weird to build a dream house where visitors had to crash on the couch.

I might also want a game room with a table built for role playing and some arcade stuff. Although gaming at the big gothic table I’d have in the dinning room would be fun. Maybe the game room should have a secret entrance.

My partner really wants a tower so I’m not sure how I’d incorporate that, the office or library might go in the tower.