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Social media sites as D&D characters, a Mastodon thread:
Incredibly accurate, too:
âTwitter. A once powerful wizard, attempted to become an Arch Lich, but fumbled creating their phylactery. Now a maddened spirit bound to a crumbling corpse.â
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brilliant, but i kinda resent being called a kobold.
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Me, reading that: âKobolds, you say? Hmm, maybe I should join MastoâŚâ
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you should! i know Blueskee is the hotness right now, but iâm super happy on Mastodon, and have no desire to check out anything else.
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Duly screengrabbâd & posting to tumblr! Thanks!
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EwwwwwâŚ
Something about that would make me all that much less inclined to buy their services.
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I donât blame them trying to warn off creepy dudes.
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Indeed. I guess Iâd wonder what about the place even attracts creepy dudes. I mean, massages without sexual services arenât uncommon. 
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All it would take is the place being staffed by Asian American massage therapists . Likely a business in an area of the town where lots of Asian businesses have collected. But it attracts creeps because the therapists are Asian American women
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[plush, dog-eating, sleeping bag] sharks are cool!
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Now, thatâs a silly grin.
(also, I could totally see our (sadly departed) pup deciding on a sleeping spot like that, given the chanceâŚ)
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A parody of those made-for-TV movies ripped from the headlines. Specifically, a contemporary one made by Fox TV.
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