Liv sits for a while, just listening. To the sound of his own breath, to the breath of the man on the other side of the screen. Other than that, there is silence. Soundproofing has improved since these things were first invented. Finally, he begins.
âBless me, Father, for I have sinned.â Words long-not-spoken come more easily than he expected. "It has been⌠seventeen years since my last confession.
"My name is Sidney Sullivan. I come from Artemis 37960-3 â a backwater known mostly for producing two things: coltan and fertilizer. I could say we donât have shit, but⌠wellâŚ
"Iâve never been much of a believer in Fate, other thân that itâs a right bastard. But when he showed upâŚ
"Him. Tâyounger son of some Citizens with all the prototypical young-sonness about him. More money than brains â at least at the start â but he fell hard for two things: Bella DâArgent and saffron dust.
"Oh, yeah, I guess you could say those are two other things we got plenty of. Whores and saffron dust. Saffronâs a funny thing: it makes yâfeel the way yâwish yâcould feel all the time. For some people, itâs excited and full of energy, others end up feeling connected to something spiritual or universal, others just end up feeling no pain. If yâre smart, you stay away from it. But like I said, more money than brains at least at the start.
"So⌠Bella and saffron, yeah, thatâs a combo thatâs felled more than one toff out slumming. Tâey all think tâeyâre so high and mighty with their fancy school educations and their incomes, but theyâre not so smart when it comes to certain realities of life on the fringes.
"It wasnât until the message came in fâr him â the one from his parentâs estate saying that they and his older siblings had perished in some tragedy â that I ever really stopped tâconsider things. We were of a type â or would have been before he succumbed to his vices â but it wasnât until I clapped eyes on the missive, where tâey spoke of âYoung Livâ that I realised that I suddenly had my shot. No one had seen him in over a decade, between boarding school and his subsequent debauched travels and anyone who might even have been close to him was gone. He was too entangled in Bellaâs web to ever returned. Fact is, heâd be down at the anatomists soon as not, or down at the grinders for bone-meal. Yet here I was, called by the same name and a better fit for his clothes than heâd be anymore; why shouldnât I take this? It wasnât like Iâd be fooling his mother or anybody else that might have cared for him. I was just⌠I was just grabbing the only opportunity Iâd ever get tâbreathe air that didnât stink of ammonia and rot, tâfind out what it was like to live with entire rooms to myself instead of a cot I needed to share with someone on the opposite shift.
"Aside from a few minor details, it was relatively easy, so long as yâknew the right people. And that was it. I was finally free. No more saffron or company housing, no more dark shafts that might be full oâ giant bats or arachnoid webs. My life had been pre-determined by the flip of a coin. It was only fair that I got to steal something back.
"Only, it wasnât easy, was it? Itâs one thing to be able to get tâpaperwork in order, and another tâhave the stomach for that life. Having money is one thing, but wasting it⌠and trust me, those toffs cân waste it. Not the least, single damn givân for tâose who might need it. Houses yâcould put an entire camp in. Or eight big rooms and tâey call it an apartment. I couldnât make myself go past havinâ just tâone with something separate for toilet and washing up. And none oâthat shared.
"So, I did a few thingâs different. I paid good and I tried tâmake things a little fairer. Wages. A doctor that would otherwise be out oâreach. Yâknow, âthat which you do for the leastâ and all.
"But like I said, Fateâs a right bastard⌠someone didnâ like what I was doing. Tâey didnât like me speaking truth to power and all, and next thing I know, Iâm being accused of murdering tâother Livâs family. Wasnât pretty, either⌠an out-and-out axe murder, with their own axes. Thereâs a reason I didnât ever stay thereâŚ
"Then, New Prussia. And you know who takes the brunt oâit when nations squabble⌠tâlittle guy, Tâones who canât afford târun away or hide behind fortifications. I knew if I went and served, Iâd get banged up for tâcrimes I hadnât done, so I worked tâget as many as I could out before I ran, mâself.
"So, here I am. All I got is one stolen ship, some gear that came with tâcomission I bought, and a load oâdebt to some people who donât take that sort oâthing lightly. I cânât go back tâWeatherby or theyâll bang me up for desertion, evân if they drop the other charges. I got nowhere.
âBut some people are alive that wouldnât have been, so thatâs got tâcount for something, right?â He sighs. He knows the truth: nothing ever does. No good deed, etcetera. He doesnât wait for a response before leaving. Penance⌠like he said, the people he owes do not take debts lightly. Forgiveness? Absolution? Do those even exist? At this point, he has no idea, just a ship with the serial numbers filed off and no clue what heâll have to do to make good. Fate is, indeed, a right bastard.
