Give each astronaut a jet pack.
I am not mature enough for this story…
A group of students broke the record for the highest altitude reached by an independently designed and built suborbital rocket, flying Aftershock II to 470,000 feet (143,256 meters) above Earth’s surface.
[…]
A sled and a winch. They fire their harpoons, and then use the winch…
What do you mean they don’t have harpoons?
A sled, a kedging cannon, modified for use in vacuum, and a winch.
You mean cats aren’t in microgravity all the time?
Specially trained Saint Bernards.
Or does a Space Dog count as a kind of “Rover”?
Nah, but they are only loosely constrained by conventional laws of physics. I swear ours are capable of suspending gravity at will.
In the side view of the shuttle the rectangular landing gear door directly behind the wheel makes it look like one of those little friction-powered toys. 
Mod note: Please try to stay on topic and to play well together. Thank you!
To be fair, Jalopnik is about cars, but, if we’re talking about Jalopnik (and not its readership community), then J’s take on Musk seems to come from an early place, and that–of course–based on Teslas. This from Jalopnik’s Jason Torchinsky. One can interpret the tenor of J’s thoughts on Musk in 2020 in one way or another. Still, J’s lack of respect for Musk was evident back then, and I chose 2020 randomly:
(excerpt) I know true Tesla stans like to believe that each and every car is created from a soup of pure matter, assembled at the atomic level via beams from Elon Musk’s third eye before having artificial life fucked into them in a beautiful and arcane ceremony involving Elon in a silken robe, but the truth is really far more mundane. Quality has long been an issue for Tesla, and now owners of Tesla’s new Model Y are discovering some shockingly janky construction methods. (“Home Depot shit” found in the Tesla Y.)
Other Musk-related links below, all more recent:
Elon Musk Promises FSD “Next Year” For The 9th Year In A Row
Elon Musk Ruined Free Speech Says Adam, Ruiner Of Everything
‘Guest Who Wouldn’t Leave’ Elon Musk Is Reportedly Already Too Annoying For Trump Team
World’s Largest Battery Manufacturer Says Elon Musk ‘Doesn’t Know How To Make A Battery’
Reminds me of an aside from Mary Roach’s Packing for Mars: “Stowage” is how toddlers and astronauts say “storage.”
Neat. It once had seas. That indexes well with ancient Martians foreseeing their planet’s demise and attempting to work on a solution involving Earth—at least per Professor Quatermass’s theory.
Mountain bike with knobby tires and a really big basket up front! Nuff said!
Okay, I’m going to accept that IFT-6 was a success after all now.