Monica Helms, a trans activist and Navy veteran, designed the trans pride flag on Aug. 19, 1999. It was first flown the following year in Phoenix’s Pride parade.
Monica and I go back. To before she designed the flag
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This tells me the efforts to erase trans identity from our society have already failed. The kids know and are showing a more nuanced understanding of gender than most cisgender adults.
I don’t intend to minimize the harm erasure efforts/attacks are causing and will cause. Particularly to trans kids, who are the most vulnerable to these attacks. But I believe they will ultimately be useless. The kids have the vocabulary to express themselves and there is no clawing our society back into ignorance.
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Nice…
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I believe their model is that transwomen are men who want access to be around women, which means sneaky tricky predators, there can be no other explanation. Either they want to predate on women, and/or they want to trap manly real manly men, either is bad and wrong.
Transmen are just women who are confused, like lesbians, and therefore don’t really exist because silly women don’t know what they want until a man explains it to them.
Remember: only men have agency in their worldview. So a “woman who wants to be a man” is confused and should be corrected, poor thing, but a “man who wants to be a woman” is a deranged weirdo who must be punished and eliminated.
Transmen, after all, while confused, are understandable. Awww, they think they’re people!
Hot shower in lye, now.
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i’m honestly not interested in the opinion of any cis person on the topic of trans rights. you don’t know what our existence is like and you never can. by definition you aren’t qualified to tell us or anyone else what threats aren’t real and i’m damn sick of seeing you say we’re making shit up.
i love it when you say the right things and have the right takes. i really do. i want to see more of that.
but, and this isn’t a slight, you’re saying what we’ve been saying. that’s good, because you’re listening. keep doing that and keep repeating what we say.
point being, the opinions and analyses that i value the most about trans rights are not those of cis people but those of my community, the ones who have to stare down both barrels of increasing existential threats every single fucking day of their lives. our lives. that’s what we’re talking about.
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My nesting partner and I proposed to each other. We’ve been together for over 21 years and never really saw the need for us to get married, but with things going to shit as they are, we decided to do whatever we can to gain that legal status. We love each other deeply and that’s never been an issue, but we both hate that this seems to be the only way to cut through so many potential problems.
We’re keeping the ceremony very small. Us, two witnesses, and the officiant. Each of the witnesses is a partner to one of us while the officiant is our mutual partner, so yeah, it’s going to be a polyamorous wedding even if we’re the only ones getting legally married! (We’re considering a photographer. If we do decide to have one, I’m asking a friend from the local kink scene. That seems very much in theme!)
Now we just need to get all the paperwork together. This is a bit more daunting than it sounds! It’ll be worth it, it just may take a while.
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Congrats. I know things are particularly scary for you and I hope you’ll be able to hold onto your relationships and find comfort in each other for as long as time can grant you.
Also, I get it… Even for me and my partner we had discussed maybe not getting married but with the death of our close friend it put into perspective that maybe we should do that there’s no question about each other’s rights and access to each other and our finances/goods were.
I really wish we had more money to have a modest wedding, my partner really wants one but realistically it might end up being a basic courthouse wedding with maybe a celebration later on when we can afford it.
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Congratulations! Such happy news in trying times.
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Once you have that sorted, look into getting
- Advanced directives (setting out your wishes in certain catastrophic medical situations) and
- statutory durable power of attorney in case of incapacitation.
It would be worth sorting out two people to serve that function for each person in your polycule. If you can afford to get an estate lawyer, they will typically do your will and all that paperwork at the same time. Usually for a flat fee. It’s also a service offered at a lot of free/reduced law clinics.
Have enough signed copies that you can leave one with friends who live elsewhere. If you can afford it, put the original in a safe deposit box
Edit: forgot the advanced directive and distribution of paperwork
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Ditto. These are good things for everyone to have, but they are especially important for anyone in a non-traditional relationship. And especially now, with a possible challenge to Obergefell on the horizon. If you suddenly find yourself in a state that doesn’t recognize your marriage, an advanced directive and a durable power of attorney will still allow your partner(s) to be able to make the necessary decisions should the need arise.
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White, male, het, cis, Christian identity is the driving force of American life. Yet only time identity politics offends people is when the identity in question is…anything but that.
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Something about fish not seeing water, maybe?
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Congratulations to the both of you! 
Glad to hear all the partners are on board and participating.
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