âThis cruelty against a group we also consider subhuman but are less vocal about eradicating is an unimportant distraction from policies that hurt REAL people!â
Fuck Chuck indeed.
I guess he didnât get the part.
Iâm really not sure where that leaves me. I turned 55 earlier this month and just spent a week at âkink campâ where I cuddled and played with cis and trans people of a variety of genders (including ânone applicableâ) and an age range from 26 to 72. Iâd say Briana could kiss my non-binary ass, but she definitely does not deserve that honor!
One of our activities was a trans and non-binary coffee klatch hosted by one of my partners. We did not, of course, require anyone to be trans to hang out with us and chat because fuck gatekeeping.
One of the attendees was a cis woman my age, but had been relatively socially isolated from the queer community for most of her life. She had friends that were trans women, but were also of the mindset where they want to ignore the trans part of their identity.
Being in a safe place to ask questions she brought that up, especially since sheâd had a few days at camp of getting to know out, proud, and loud trans people that reject the binary model. My partner pointed out that, especially for older trans people, as not being perceived as trans was (is) absolutely a matter of safety, but that also brings with it passing privilege, trading one set of fears for another, and gatekeeping. While I respect anyoneâs right to say âI prefer to be called a woman and not a trans womanâ that will forever have a tint of dismissiveness for the experience of others to me, and more than a hint of âIâve got mine, fuck you.â
Our new friend was widowed in the last year and while she loved her husband, sheâs just now starting to recover parts of her that she had long ago buried. Before she left our circle that morning she found the courage to say âIâm queerâ out loud for the first time ever and we were all so very proud of her! By the end of the week she left camp with an intention to examine her gender more carefully. Whatever she finds, Iâm glad to welcome her into our camp family!
ETA: Hmm. Possibly this should have been under trans joy? I think itâs far more positive than negative, at least.
My brother said, a few years ago, that he didnât think of himself as trans, so much as a man with a particular medical history. Heâs âdoneâ with transition (still requires hormones of course) and passes easily. But I think he may have changed on that position somewhat; heâs mentioned that the trans community where he lives is pretty great.
I am disinclined to judge any trans folks for their mindset, unless itâs the âyouâre not trans enough / not valid unless ________â or ânonbinary just means your egg hasnât fully cracked yet.â People do what they need to do to copeâŚ
Unfortunately human language is a low resolution medium of information. No matter what the way we talk about things will never perfectly describe how we feel and think, and when it comes to complex issues of self, gender and sexuality the information there is like a knotted ball of yarn that canât be conveyed with simple words. At least the people now are able to talk about these issues in a way that just wasnât possible before, ignoring current socio-political bullshit.noise of course.
Yep! The ways of thinking and communicating about gender and sexuality and identity, and the cultures around them, have evolved a startling amount during my lifetime, and the thing about evolution is it doesnât have an endpoint (well, other than extinction⌠but to get rid of trans people theyâll have to kill all the people).
My answer to âwhen did you first realize you were nonbinaryâ is âwhen someone invented the word for it.â I kind of knew who I was way before that, but also kind of didnât. And that makes me realize, I still kind of donât, but look forward to the next realization 
And the meaning of straight is evolving too. Not to long ago people didnât consider pegging a straight activity. Or that straight men could househusbands.
Oh, absolutely! Iâm not judging anyone for thinking of themselves as their gender instead of their gender with an adjective, but I am certainly concerned with some of the common correlations. Of course thereâs always going to be people who are resentful towards those who they see as having had an easier time. (Similar to not everyone thatâs queer wishes to use that identity for themselves and thatâs cool, but they donât get to object to it for other people!)
The NYT also happens to be quite cozy with the fossil fuel industry (who has been funding quite a lot of the anti-trans propaganda).
I mean, weâve all been told that itâs best for corporations to devote themselves to increasing shareholder value at all costs, and apparentlyâŚtrans peopleâŚum, clog the pipelines or something? Capitalism! 
Huh⌠Iâm reading Marsha (biography of Marsha P. Johnson, by Tourmaline) and apparently transphobia has a long and rich history at the NYT. Times Square was a theater and red light district since before the paper moved there and they seem to have always resented being surrounded by âundesirables.â 120 years later they donât seem to have gotten over it.
Trash Discourse has a video basically on exactly this topic, though coming at it from the other direction:
