Pro tip: don’t get caught in Arkansas with any novel featuring a heroine.
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I’m starting to understand why Robert Reich is asking people to stop referring to tariffs - he suggests calling them import taxes instead.
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It’s certainly more accurate!
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When an eel bites your leg and it hurts 'til you beg, that’s a moray.
(I can’t take credit for this.)
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Put you hand in the crack and you won’t get it back, that a mooooray!
(I can’t take credit either)
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When an eel opens wide and there’s more jaws inside, that’s a moray.
When a grid’s misaligned with another behind, that’s a Moiré.
When so much glacial till piles up it makes a hill, that’s a morraine.
When they play one more song but you say the word wrong, that’s encore!
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When you swim in the sea
and an eel bites your knee
That’s a moray 
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When your head
w̷̡̥̞̣͚̰̆͗̀̏̔͆i̷̛̦̯̣̠̻̣̰̼̲̿͂̉́͊̊̐̕͟͟ē̖̘̔̇ͭ̅ͮ͢͠j̶̡̢̰͎͔̻̺̟̭̤̒̽̎̇͑̓ͥͫ͛̅̾́̿͊͊́̍̇ͤͤ͘͟͝d̺j̴̵̨̛̦͚̥͉̬̠̮̺̆ͧ͂̃͟e̵̕i̶̶̢̠͎̼̫͙̝͎̰̦̭̱ͪͥ̂̂ͭͫ̀ͨ͂͌̑ͮ̀͌͛͛̄̓̚̕̚͠͠͝ẘ͍̳̞̜͕̟͔̭͙̀̉̎͐̀͜o_̴̴̸̴̧̛̙̦͚͓̹͓͔̮͍̮͗͑ͪ́͐ͪ̒̀ͭ̆ͣ̓̋̍͊ͣ̎̆̚̚͟͜͞͝ͅs̸̬͉ͬ̐̌̏̋̽͜\͔̞̻̟͉̪͍́̾̈̽ͧ̔͆̌{̶̛̲͍̹̺͕͓̲͋̓ͥ͊̒̉̐ͨ̅ͪ̽̓̀͒̕̕͟͠͞#̟͂̐ͭ̋̓͛̀̋̓̂_͚̲̤͕͇̪͉͉͉̮͈͚̖ͭ̂ͮͤͫ̉̀͑̇͂̊ͨ̕̚͟͠ͅ{̙̟ͤ_̵̢̨̧̥̬͈̖̮̲̹̻̝̟̉̋ͣͣ̑͜ṡ̩͗ͭ͢ķ̛͈͐̃͢_̵̜̳̱͓͉̖̹̿ͭ͂ͨ̓ͤ͐̓͆̒ͨ̀͟͝_́ẻ̏͜_̸̟̉̈̅͘͜o̴̧̜̙͕̞ͬ̀́́̒͌ͨ̓_̷̸̢̨͔̖̱̬̣͕̜̬̱͖͎̥͆ͩ̐ͪͭ͑̽̽̋̅͑̃̉r̶̸̶̨̛̛͇̜̻̦̼̙̗̠̥̩̂̈̈́́́͌̄̂́ͯ͂̓ͧ͛̀̎ͧ̐ͨ͠͠j̸̸̧̡̫͕̳̫̻̟̗͎͍͚ͩ̀͋ͨ̔̂ͣ̊͞f̸̢̛͖̦̗͍̪͇̣͍̙̺̭͕͂͌͗ͭ̌̅̒ͥ̽͆͌͋͗̐͒ͯ̾̊͜͞i̶̢̢̛̬͔͍̟̻͙̩ͮͬͤ̃ͤ̿ͪ͗ͮ͒̓ͨ͆͠¥̶̴̷̶̨̹͓̘͙̪̦ͭͬ̊ͣ̒́̍ͣ̊ͫ̐̾͠_̄̔}̧̢̙̞̰̗͉̪̫̆̿̒́̾̄͗͊̄̍̽͗͝_̺̺͇̠̋͂́́͐̍͘͢͜͟¥̵̶̢̧̧͓̰̝͈̝̣̹̟̯͙̝͚̠̇̆͒̄̆̋ͬ̏̽̐̆ͨ́ͪ̑̓͒͑̈́̕̕͢͞͠͞͝͞§͙ͅ|̷̢̫̩̰͔͂̓ͦ̕͠§̟̲̞̝̓sm̦̓͜ͅd̶̸̵̡̞̯̗̬̤̘͔̝́ͤͥͮ͆̄̑̿̄́̕͟_̼ͥ̿͒k̴̘̮͙̼̦̠̰͖͓̹͆͗ͧ̃̽̓͊̎̐ͦ̈ͯ̽̊ͨͣ̍̚͘͜͢͠ͅd͔̉̂̓̊̀ͅę̶̡̡̤̮̖̹͈̭̣̱̫̀ͬ̓ͪ̎̍̎ͮ̌̇ͫ̊ͭ̊̃̿͂͘̚͞͡o̴̷̢̳͉͎̼̺̦͍͕̙͔̩̥͙ͣ̿̿̉͒̑̀̀̋̐ͫ͐ͫ̀ͧͨ̇̅͗̚͟f̟̞̞͋͋ͩ͆͢n̴̸̡̲͔̙̪͖̬̲̣̟̪͍͔̘̪͇̯̺̔ͭ̉ͬ͛ͧ̀ͨͦ̿ͮ͌͊̓ͮ̈́ͦ̍͢͟͡u̴̥͓̇̆̽͘ț̢̨̛͉̥̜̝̹̱̝͚̯̭͇͉̠̣̓̋̑̏ͤͯ͋̾͂̂ͦ̊ͨ̅͋͛ͪ͑͐͑́͛͛̅̇̑̕̕ͅj̴̴̸̗̰̺͚͎͙͔͔̗̦̥̫͎͉̪̹̠͒͒͋͊̎͌͋̿̈̐̎̓̎ͧ̀̌̈́ͣ͢͞͞ͅ_̵͇ḓ̸̶̛̮͕̹̞̦̠̤͕͍͖͖̻͉̖͈͇̦̍̅̉͌ͬ̀ͤ͗͋̾͛͒ͦͯ͟͝͡_m͓̻̙̈̏̽́̓̕͞ş̶̮̳͕̘̥̏ͨͫ͌͗́ͫ̓ͯ͜͝_̯o̝͚͛̀͡2̪̫̩͎̳̤̼̮̣̠͕̋͆̍̃̑̒ͪͫ̊ͨ̊̔͌ͧ͠͡k̷̴̷̡̤̳̰͇̣̠͎͚͉̝̤̬̼̄͒̒̔͛͋̅̋ͣͧ̑͘͢͟͟͟͜͝͠ͅs̡͎ͣ̿m̸̡͕̠̖͐_̶̸̸̡͕̮͚̭͖͇̻̺͖̰̤̎͛͌̿̋͛̀͒̈́̌͆̀̊̆ͥ̀ͨ̑͘͟͟͢͝s̪ͪ̓S̴̨̯͓͕̼̱̻͑ͭ͐͛ͯͧ̃̍̀̔́ͨ̚k̸̸̡̝̯̰͇̭̳̭͓̆̓ͥ̈́̈́̎ͅ_̵̠̮̳̭͖ͯͤ̏ͪ̊̀͘͟w̌͛ḵ̷̷̛͇̗̥̀ͨ̆͆͋̓͒́̿́̐ͣ̚͜͜͟ȩ̯̻͎̤̝̋ͤ̇̄ͣ͗_̡̱̠̤̮͙͓̻ͤ̽ͪͬ̔ͦ̓͐̐͘͟ͅͅk̵̟̬͎̺̜̮̲ͥͥͣ͘_̶̶̡̢̛̼̫̮̊ͪ̆͒̇ͧͬͮ̿͌̔͞3̬͖̫͔̤͆̈́͋̀ͮͯ͒͒ͨ̓̑̋̀̋ͦ̀̚̚͡#̥̅(̴̸̖͍͉̜̘͆͗̾ͬ́ͭ́_̨̘̪̪̜̱̼͛̋ͧ͊̔̾̄ͪ͝ͅͅ\̲̬͚̥̽w̞̯̖͖̩̖͛́ͫ͌̄̓̍̃͋ͣ̇͂͘͞_̩͕k̴̝͎s̭̝͖̿̄͜͜͢_̴̡̛̩̳͗͋̋̏͛̄̏̀̂ķ̵̨̧̘̩̘͕̜̯̻̙͓̘̻͕̝̯͊͒̈̉͒͆̈́̊̌͌ͤ̈ͣ̃̓̍̕̕͜͡͝Ẁ̷̼̘̯̼̻̘͇͉̙̀͒̂̓ͥͮ͐͛ͧ͆ͨͯ̂̕͜͡͝l̸̡͓̥͇͎̍ͫ̀̓ͣ̕͟͞w̻̝͕̿ͪk̟̟w̷̛̜̳̻̳̝̮̟̣̹̋͗̽̽ͤ̎̎ͮ͗ͫ͋̑̈̔̊̿͘̚͟͢͜͝͡͠ͅS̶͓̳̟̠̭̩̯ͣ̊͗̃͛̀̍ͦͣ͞k̶̢̜̟̩̺̭͇͎͇̥͙̳͙ͭͬ̈́̇͐̅́ͪ͗̀̉͒ͤ̀̅͗ͮ̊ͯ̂̈́͢͢͜͡͞s̵̸̷̙̣̬̺̘̃̒̆̾ͨ͊̉͋̃ͥ̔̚̕̕͟ͅl̶̵̢̟̻̘̱̪̟̹̈ͦ̂̀͑̋͠͠͠_̴̵̡̢͚̜̦̰͋̈́̒͋ͩs̸̡̛̪̜͓̝͕͉̰̠̞̺̮̭̦̰͎̉ͬͤ́̇̐̋̀͂ͫ͆ͩ̿ͥ͌ͯ̓͗ͫͫ̏́ͯ̄͟͞l̶̲̲̻͍͚̹̱̠̰̩ͨͥ̆ͨ͆̐̏̓̽́̏̅͂ͬ́ͯ̅̿̚͢š̨̗͍ͧ̾̊l̮̠̼͊̇͑͑̉ͥ̃̒ͦ̀͠ș̥ͦl̴̨̢̧̼͓̣̖̰͉͈̘̩̱͓͐̓ͭ̍ͫͤͬ̋̀̀͐̒̿̀͐͐̑͆͒̔ͧ̏̕͘͝͡s͕̟̖ͨ͢͟l̠̘̲̙̬̥͍̥̹̞̣ͫͧ̇̈̌̓͘͠w̛̭̝͈̙̟̩̫̦͚̫̘͔͇̥̜ͥ̅̎̇ͮ̓͂̆ͦ̓ͥ͑̎ͦ̂̅ͩ̽ͦ̓̽̀͗̑ͤ͜͠͡l̛͇̮̃ͤ͐͠
that’s a migraine.
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He’s a clown, he’s a ham
His last name’s Amsterdam
He’s a Morey.
I can’t take credit for this either; it’s from a book by Spider Robinson.
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Fool me once…no, wait, it didn’t even work the first time. 
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That was LITERALLY the exact same argument they made about abortion. These dipshits…
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Folks not being honest* by creating a situation where guys are expecting a date and being given projects instead is why I’m putting this here. As comedian Nicole Byer pointed out on Jimmy Kimmel Live, they’re taking advantage of people who now know exactly where they live. What could go wrong? 
*Some could be stating their intentions up front, it’s not clear how many fall into the bait-and-switch category.
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I suspect that many want to avoid making it look too transactional. The optics of “If you fix my sink, then we can go on a date.” are not necessarily what everyone intends.
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