As a child, I had a book of bizarre Victorian inventions with a more, ah, extreme approach to the issue. It was a brass device about 3 inches long, the shape of a small barbell, with holes drilled in each end. The notion was, one inserted a wad of cotton soaked in ones cologne of choice into the device, then popped one half inside the sphincter, this allowing unfettered, silent release of any now cologne-masked gases. I’m assuming the few early adopters discovered first-hand the risks to this approach…
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Pea. So, just one single pea in the can or—The Village being The Village—one very large “pea”. Number 6 opens the can and gets hit in the face with a miniature Rover.
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Her reaction was priceless.
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“Put it on a plate, son - you’ll enjoy it more.”
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In the spirit of alternative pianos, I was lucky enough to see a performance of John Cage’s Sonatas for the Prepared Piano a couple of months ago. The mobile that floated above the piano contained gongs, metal bars and wood blocks, and were struck depending on which keys were pressed, as well as the usual nuts and bolts between the strings. It was totally mesmerising.
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Far-Right Influencers Are Hosting a $10K-per-Person Matchmaking Weekend to Repopulate the Earth
Repopulate the Earth???
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There are 8 BILLION of us on this rock! What don’t these dipshit understand about that.
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Ok sure, there is an entirely unprecedented number of humans, but not all species are doing so well. Bordetella pertussis, Morbillivirus hominis, Enterovirus C have all been suffering from serious habitat loss. And the best future for them lies with right-wing influencers who work hard to make sure there are still pristine, unprepared immune systems out there. Can’t we spare a moment to think of these magnificent pathogens too? 
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“repopulate the Earth …” with the “right” kind of people.
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$50K for the annulment.
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Sounds like Indonesian Gamelan music.
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Indeed! Reminds me that the piano is basically a percussion instrument.
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Oh of course… we’re doing okay numbers wise, but yeah, we’ve fucked the rest of the inhabitants on this rock pretty bad.
eh, not those guys! they can fuck off! 
And that is what they mean…
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Most definitely not resting in peace.
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