Whose fighting frenzied squirrels?
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Judgemental much?
How does it help any of us to be offended by things that I neither said nor meant? This seems to be a recurring theme. There is a record of what we said right here. A LOT of nontroversy here and on BB takes the form of paraphrasing things I say into something else, then I am on the hook for needing to clarify some simple remarks over and over, with people then resenting the digressions. Maybe - if people took what I said at face value, and take it or leave it on its own merits - these things would not become huge digressions.
Honestly, in spoken conversation I dislike needing to constantly repeat myself, but I try to have patience for it. But in a textual conversation, I really donât understand why it would even be at all necessary. Lots of people chime in on these topics, and obviously people donât agree with or like all of the input, and casually disregard some without making a big deal about it.
Popobawa: âIt seems that many more needy people could possibly be encouraged grow some portion of their own food.â
Possible respose 1: "Naah. I disagree, thatâs is neither realistic nor advisable."
Popobawa: âI disagree also, but fair enough.â
Possible response 2: "ZOMG everybody, Popo just said that everybody needs to become farmers! Why do you hate people who donât grow food? That is victim-blaming, you know."
Popobawa: âWhat? I did not say any of those things. What I said wasâŚâ
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Well thereâs egg on my face, i always thought that meant Freezer Fried Stingrays. Dâoh!
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No. Rude much?
Letâs take your own example.
Me: âHey, your post makes it sound like youâre asking to delete a popular thread. I wish you wouldnât do that.â
Possible answer #1: "No, sorry for the misunderstanding, I know I talked about deleting things but I only wanted to fork the thread to clarify it for some reason."
Possible answer #2: âDid you read what I wrote? FOR FUCKS SAKE!?â
Iâm not interested in your further responses, because you are a very rude person.
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Short, direct, declarative with no room for misinterpretation. I know just the person to love a statement like that. 
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Encoding.
Decoding.
Very different but very important things.
Iâve said this to you before, but it bears repeating, if you encounter misunderstandings âA LOTâ with many people here and on the BBS then the problem lies not with the decoding, but the encoding.
i.e.: Lowest common denominator.
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Youâre not really much of a people person, are you?
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I think the gist of the responses above is this:
Popo, we know your game and weâre not playing it. Gaslighting will not work here.
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What is this, motherfucking Bizarro-Wurld? Ay yi yiâŚ
I am kicking myself for participating at all but I see some potentially destructive behaviour brewing, so Iâd like to set everyone a challenge.
No doubt many of you have already read the book or are even trained in the field.
There is an anti-thesis to the game being played here and it does not involve playing along with the person setting it up.
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Thatâs a crucial book, but it reminds me about how much I loathe transactional analysis for how it stereotypes human behaviors in terms of pointless power games. I model social interactions more in terms of protocols, and think of games in systems terms of having actual formal parameters and desired outcomes. When social interaction is a game, these things can be explicated and often resolved by simply not playing within the bounds of its schema.
To be frank, I think that most of what passes for human relationships are self-absorbed and anti-social. Thatâs why I take such pains to avoid introducing personal problems into my interactions with people. If this is a community, where people enjoy discussing social issues, then I propose that we get on with it instead of trying to provoke each other with interpersonal nonsense. I am not especially interested in individuals degree of rapport with each other.
If I am playing any âgameâ, it is to discuss and brainstorm about cultures and societies, their formal and functional aspects. It really is that simple. There are no embedded rewards, punishments, motivations, incentives, etc on my end. I am interested in what people do to construct social realities, and why. What works, and what doesnât. Past, present, and future. It is not about anyoneâs personalities. That is my protocol, and I am not attached to any particular outcomes of it.
But since people seem to feel compelled to ignore whatever I say, while yet complaining about it somehow, I donât expect anything I say here to make any difference. For better or worse, I still am foolish enough to be a tiny bit optimistic about my attempts to communicate. So I still do it.
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The world revolves around me.
- A toddler
The sad fact is that your attempts to play Devilâs Advocate are often overshadowed by the way concern trolls like Milo have used the same talking points. It reminds people of that kid in their class whose attempts to be edgy resulted in the edgelord seig heiling. And rather than making arguments that behavior is biologically based (âIs rape an evolutionary reproductive strategy?â) youâve just been like
âWell, I donât see anything wrong with it. Yâall being less mature than me.â
What we have here is a failure on your part to communicate (remember the Eugenics thread, when you repeated the same lines like, in six different posts?) and a growing lack of patience on the part of other posters. Behavior that was funny is now considerably less so when the last few threads are compared to right-wing assholesâ sploogepieces.
I too disagree with transactional analysis because it is overly reductive and frankly, unhelpful. My red-pilling ex was hugely fond of breaking out TA and blaming me for their problems (despite being long distance and never having met them offline).
Cracked has run interesting features on the Oneida Free Love community - which was more like a rapey cult, now that I think about it - that you may enjoy, both as analytical and as a look at a failed experiment in an intentional society.
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No one else here is interested in discussion devoid of social, interpersonal interactionâ.
In not sure how to set up a poll, but someone should, it will be a landslide.
Iâm not saying you canât have it, Iâm just saying you need to find willing participants.
Iâm interested in many of the same topics as you but the last thing I want is less interpersonal interaction in my life. It is a rare goal, you will find few who share it.
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Have you ever read this one:
https://www.amazon.com/Mistakes-Were-Made-But-Not/dp/1491514132
I think you might be more caught up in self-justification than you realize, which is a pretty common problem for humans to have (myself included). Worth reading and thinking about anyway.
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- discussion devoid of social, interpersonal interactionâ.
- discussion chock through with social, interpersonal interactionâ.
0 voters
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Iâd like more, myself, but there are so many jerks all over the place.
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