I’ve posted this on all my social media accounts today, but I think it would probably be good here as well:
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Now that I’ve had some time to ruminate on the events of this week, I have some unsolicited advice; take it as you will (or not):
Take time to process your feelings about what happened, be it a week, or a month. But take time to process the shock, grief, etc. Reach out if you feel the need to talk to someone- right now we all need to bond closer with friends that you share commonalities with. Shared grief is a burden carried by all that share it.
And then when you are done processing your feelings and emotions, make plans to survive, and to fight back as best as you are able.
If you are having serious thoughts of suicide, please call your crisis center, because you are loved, valid, and needed. You are not alone in this fight, and together we are strong.
I had my first good time tonight since the election. Despite not feeling in the mood, I went to have a couple drinks with a friend, but ended up staying until bar close. I stopped drinking much earlier, but stayed because there were several punk bands playing and the crowd was noticeably queer. The bands and audience were chanting pro trans stuff. It felt great after the week I’ve had. I don’t know how long this positive feeling is going to last, but I’m going to hold on to it for as long as possible.
Back in the before time, once or twice a year my company would host a get-together and we’d all travel from wherever we were in the country to one place. Stay at an AirBnB together. Talk about work stuff in person all day and then drink and dance and do karaoke or play games all night. It was fun. Made memories. Gave us some bonding time.
But that was (amazingly) almost half a decade ago now. I’m not quite the same as I was back then. I’m older, less fit, hate travel even more, and I really just want to be home and comfortable.
Next week we’re doing it again. I have to leave tomorrow, on a long trip, and then will be stuck there until Friday, with another long trip back. It’s terrifying.
Sounds silly. It’s just a trip, among people I know, for one week. And I have enjoyed these things in the past. But it’s weighing very heavily on me. I don’t want to not be able to go home and relax. Anxiety level is high.
My mind is reacting the way when in a horror movie they say “Let’s all split up. And you in the high heels, go running through the dark forest. I’ll go down into the basement without a flashlight. And you with the glasses, sit in the circle of runes and start reading that weird flesh-covered book out loud.” and everyone just decides that’s a great idea.
I’m severely tempted to just happen to suddenly get Covid or something.
But I’m trying to just play along and pretend to be normal.
So they stopped because of Covid and this is the first time it’s happening again?
Which means you’ve got major travel, Covid concerns, and worry that the conversation will be doom & gloom (or worse, triumphant) instead of lighthearted conversation.
Gosh, I can’t imagine why this fills you with trepidation.
i am sorry you are feeling that way. this is going to take a lot of time to reckon with, and each of us will be going through our emotions, depressions, anger and fear at our own pace.
i have a number of projects that i have not had the heart to continue. like you, i have felt that blah and my habitual doomscrolling only makes it worse.
today, i forced myself out to the shop, where i picked up on the post card i was working on, put on some relaxing reggae music and just worked. some time after noon, i had completed a side and had not spared a thought for our national nightmare. pure escapism, i know. i should channel what little energy i have into something relevant to resistance, but then i remember that i’m not there yet. taking care of my own mental state has to come before i can be of any use to a larger movement.
creating again helps me balance.
and for just Zen-like mindless - meditative even - effort, i started a Lego-type model build of a mechanical shark (sharks are cool) that “swims” and bites at the turn of a crank. silly, i know, but it has helped me to put down the phone, log off and regroup.
i hope that you find your peaceful outlet and take time, if you can, (not all of us have the luxury to “check out”, even for a little while). when we regroup, we can be stronger in our resolve. that’s what i hope for, anyway.
This is going to be a long haul. We need to prioritize our mental health and well being or we won’t have anything left. If all the energy a person has must go to themselves and their close love ones, that is ok. It’s a form of resistance too
No doubt. We should remember that one point of the cruelty that is the point is to further ground down and demoralize us/the opposition with it. We need to build back our strength while they’re trying to further deplete it.
I understand that feeling, I went to see Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on Saturday, first time in a stadium size venue since a long time. I really did not enjoy the entry process, checked out exit plans straight away and found a pillar to lean against right at the back. The gig and the support act were predictably good, but had a feeling of dread throughout. Not relieved until I was riding back home over Blackheath.
one placed in another position at current place of employment. The position is more supervisory than technical so they aren’t super happy about it (no overtime opportunity) but at least the lights will stay on.
one placed at another company that does environmental testing for us (and other places). She’s fairly excited to be spreading out into other industries, and the commute is shorter. Hopefully we can bring her back in the future.
one couldn’t be placed. He has a very niche specialty and wanted to continue doing only that task and wouldn’t move to another opportunity (and wouldn’t for years prior either). Frankly I don’t think the reality of the situation ever fully sunk in.
Indeed. In aerospace there isn’t a ton of hiring done in the fall. A lot of new-grads get their offers in August and September after they complete their internships. More senior staff are brought on in spring as new projects are stood up. We may be able to bring back some folk then hopefully.
I am… doing better than yesterday- I got frustrated and mad enough that I ultimately had to turn off my phone, computer and go out and physically touch grass. Grass that I’m allergic to.
But I got most of the Halloween yard decorations swapped over to Christmas decorations. (I know, I know, too early, but this way I can leave up the Jack Skelleton head ‘fence’ until I take everything down at the end of the year. )
It was just… a bunch of little things that all added up and blew my primary pressure relief valve.
I’m still tired, mostly because I had to wake up two and a half hours earlier than normal for work stuff. Fortunately, it means that I can cut my work day short and take a nap this afternoon.
