Previously I was the only person I knew of who is allergic to grass. High (grass free) five, girlfriend!
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I read somewhere, years ago, that most people are at least somewhat allergic to grass. I know lying on it without a shirt always made me fairly itchy, but not to the point of a rash or anything.
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Never heard of that before. I get huge itchy red welts everywhere, have trouble breathing, etc. Confirmed by allergy testing (the skin-scratch, dot reaction type. Forget the proper name). But only allergic to specific types of grass. The sorts of whichI also forget 
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My therapist outed themselves as, at a minimum, āsympatheticā to the other side. During my appointment. From the start the appointment felt off, first with some unusual questions at the start, then progressing to throwing the term āparanoidā at me in response to my talking about my fears for people I love, dismissing family stories of life under high control governments, and near the end demanding that I also consider all the Tr*** supporters who lost their jobs before the election because they were open about their choice. By then I had reverted into defensive āmust de-escalateā mode to just get out of there quietly and quickly. I fell apart in the car on the way home.
I feel so vulnerable now, violated even. Their disdain oozing from their voice is still giving me chills. I started going to them to address some long-ignored trauma and its downstream effects, so Iāve shared shit I havenāt with even those closest to me. And this is now in the hands of someone like that. I chose this therapy group specifically because they actively present themselves as supportive of and members of the neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ community, in part to not have to deal with this shit.
Obviously Iām not going back, but do I write a carefully worded missive to them (ccāing the owner of the practice) why I wonāt be returning, or do I just run silent and run deep? Do I have any recourse to getting my file out of this personās hands?
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WTF?
This is so messed up.
I hope youāll find a new and better therapist soon.
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If it were me, Iād let them know. If they did their job well, they would have never done this
A good therapist NEVER judges their patients and certainly shouldnāt dismiss their concerns by using the word āparanoid.ā
This makes me so angry!
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My vote? Run silent and run deep. I have low trust of therapists and personally know abusive and predatory ones as well as hopelessly incompetent. There are some questionable places and ideas in this space to say the least. Youāre in the south no? Thereās a nonzero chance of retaliation then. This is not a safe culture. Run fast and run deep. Trust the senses. Nuke all connections. Mask. And look for support on your own terms.
In my periphery more than one person has literally lived their final moments in sadness and fear and/or in the saddest of life situations because they followed therapeutic advice that, frankly, was just some assholes opinion on their life.
Like ādonāt have sex with your partner anymore until you die so that at least you wonāt go to hell.ā
So I would say nothing and look for someone who understands me better and allows me to feel safe in that space.
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I absolutely encourage finding another therapist. There are ways to request your records be forwarded to you and/or destroyed but that will differ from state to state. I donāt even know the procedures to make that happen where I practice but the state licensing board may be able to help you answer those questions. As for your other question, whether you explain your choice to leave or not depends on your belief about your level of safety. I will always want my clients to explain what made them uncomfortable and what we can do to either make it right or break the connection and move on. But I also like to think Iāve never had ādisdainā in my voice with my clients. It may help the therapist grow to know exactly when they crossed the line but that is far from your obligation. They should have learned in training that it is their responsibility to leave their personal matters at home. If you choose to seek out a new therapist, I recommend someone specializing in feminist therapy and/or liberation psychology. The former emphasizes an egalitarian relationship between client and therapist rather than the traditional power dynamic, while the latter emphasizes social justice and navigation of oppression as a key element of treatment.
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If you have the bandwidth: Do not write the therapist but do write the owner. They should know the therapist is interjecting their own political beliefs into sessions and belittling clients. If the practice is advertising as LGBTQ+ friendly, they need to know there is such a damaging practitioner in their midst.
Iām not sure which state you are in, but maybe consider a complaint to the stateās licensing authority. It will probably go nowhere but it would notify the therapist and owner of the practice that this was a serious breach of trust
I canāt ever imagine any therapist I have ever known using the word āparanoidā in relation to a client expressing their fears. Even if the client is truly paranoid (you are not!!) they would never use such a loaded and judgmental term.
I hope you are able to find a therapist you can trust soon.
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This, exactly. If the owner is ethical, they will deal with the asshat. If not, you are no worse off. I am not familiar with records rules for therapists, but we are not ever permitted to destroy records. We can release them, but we always maintain a copy, for legal protection if nothing else. That is an infuriating story! The lack of empathy should disqualify them from that profession all by itself.
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Oh, Iād forgotten about where @Wayward lives! Youāre correct that there could be blowback.
I just despise these types of therapists and I want them to know that we know that theyāre shits and I see it.
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Is there an medical board of some sort that this dipshit ātherapistā can be reported to? And could they write a letter reporting the politics being injected without disclosing the underlying reason for their dispute?
ETA: Maybe after @Wayward feels safe?
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Seriously?
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That all depends on jurisdiction and credentialing. Some titles are protected by licensure and strict laws. Some are not. Many similar terms are used interchangeably in casual conversation but have very specific legal designations. So in PA, anyone can hang a shingle as a ātherapistā with no training or oversight whatsoever. This is an unprotected title. To be a psychologist, professional counselor, social worker, and a few particular types of therapist (occupational, vocational, physical), you would need training, certification/license, continuing education, and compliance with record keeping rules and codes of ethics. If I mess up badly, the PA board of psychology will strip me of my privilege to use the title. If I were a therapist without credentials or licensure, theyād have no authority to do anything and youād be left dealing with general legal processes regarding harmful behaviors.
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Nevermind. @Kii said it better than I could!
Right? Talk about some kind of imagined victimization. Those T**** supporters lost their jobs invariably because they broke the law or the ethical standards of their profession, not because they outed their own political beliefs. If that was the case, there would be 75 million Americans currently unemployed!
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Yes. Despite this being probably the least āAlabamaā city in Alabama, in some ways thatās not saying much.
Iām considering the first, but not the second. Iām a (mostly?) neurotypical, cis-het, middle-aged white woman, so while this particular therapist is ā¦ ahem ā¦ āproblematicā, I want to consider the bigger picture as well. If the practice owner isnāt aware, I donāt want to put them on the stateās radar. State govāt here is not at all LGBTQ+ friendly or supportive of non-ABA-type approaches to autism, this practice is both, and thatās hard to find here.
Yeah, no. The more I think about this, the less I want to have any more direct engagement with this therapist, even in writing. After all, Iām āparanoidā, so how productive could that be?
Thank you for giving me those search terms for when/if I start looking for the next one.
And thanks to all whoāve replied and confirmed that my interpersonal compass is indeed reasonably well-calibrated.
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Write to the owner of the practice (only) and explain that you now cannot trust the practice at all, and will be telling others of your concerns.
This will either be news they can use to weed out the danger, or their response will confirm that you need to stay as far away as possible.
This was egregious; the therapeutic equivalent of running up to high school girls and gloating āyour body my choiceā.
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Iām sorry this happened to you and I hope this asshat loses their job. Do whatever you need to do to stay safe, but if you can help out the jackass as a bigot in a safe way, thatāll be great for others who are getting ācareā from themā¦ but put your personal safety firstā¦ we all know about Alabama, even the bluer partsā¦ 
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Sorry, got to this late, after all the good ideas were already taken. Drinks on me!
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