Your deep cultural/social conditioning

[LearnedCoward]

So, first of all, there was the Church. Both my father and my maternal grandmother were very religious when I was a child, so I grew up very Catholic. I was never interested so much in the Bible and the sermons, but went mainly for the music. I still love the sound of Church music, long after having lost my faith. Most of the lessons I learned from the Church were good ones, but there were some bad ones that it took me a long time to shake off.

You are one of the better Catholics I’ve known, religious or not.

I am also Catholic, in a way that goes beyond religion. The Catholic Church has had a strong influence on me.

Mostly though, I believe that most people are inherently good, so good comes from within and not from dogmatic and legalistic adherence to old traditions. I think belief and faith are deeply personal matters. I am not sure which religion is correct, if any of them are, but I appreciate honest attempts at truth seeking and have no tolerance for dishonest attempts.

The third thing that conditioned me was reading. So much reading.

Same here. I’ve been reading since several years before I was able to talk. Being literate but nonverbal had shaped how I’ve been able to get information, if not my entire worldview itself.

I was homophobic

I’ve had so much homophobia directed at me throughout my life. You’d think that it would make me the least homophobic person in the world, but no, I was self-hating. Nobody who’s a bigot is satisfied with their life.

probably would have been transphobic if I had been aware that was an actual thing outside of jokes

I also had no idea how common trans/nonbinary is. It’s not very common, but I literally thought it was only about 100 people in the entire US.

Fortunately for me, the first trans people I had known were patient with me, and didn’t make me feel like the biggest asshole in the world for not understanding their issues automatically.

And then I started reading things from the perspective of other people, in those situations, and it eventually forced my perspective open a little further.

You must be reading different books than I have been. I can’t even get recommendations for books that aren’t super duper white and about First World Problems ™. I’m basically ignoring NPR’s books section for exactly this reason. I’m trying to seek out books from other perspectives, and it’s not like they’re few and far between either, but they’re just… hard to find, for whatever reason.

I can still be stubbornly self-righteous at times (as I’m sure some of you may be aware), but I’m a lot more open to the idea that I might be wrong now.

Do you think religion had something to do with that?

I’ve learned some good lessons from religion, but also some lessons that were, well, not so much bad as wrong-headed. Crazy. What I’ve heard described as Not Even Wrong, meaning that they aren’t even relevant enough to the issues to be considered wrong. This has been hard for me to shake.

Another source of wrongheaded beliefs for me is libertarianism. I grew up surrounded by the stuff, and while it sounds nice enough, it’s toxic. I appreciate personal freedom, but hand-waving away systemic injustice, and saying that everyone has every option available to take control of their life? I can’t accept that. There is injustice in the world, no matter how many suburban college kids tell me otherwise

So basically, I’m trying to keep the good, push out the bad, and just stay true to myself.

[emo_pinata]

Oh shit, I forgot that it was split between Pittsburgh and some other lesser known place. (Joking)

[gadgetgirl]

Canadian fjords are in the news! Steve is floating above them.

That Ghostly, Glowing Light Above Canada? It’s Just Steve (Published 2017)

[Popo_Bawa]

Mostly though, I believe that most people are inherently good, so good comes from within and not from dogmatic and legalistic adherence to old traditions. I think belief and faith are deeply personal matters. I am not sure which religion is correct, if any of them are, but I appreciate honest attempts at truth seeking and have no tolerance for dishonest attempts.

One area where I encounter a lot of static is that many people seem to - at least in the US - have a deep, strong aversion to a lack or avoidance of faith and belief. That a person happily dealing with their challenges in life with no inkling of their own individual continuity, or that the ground will still be there the next step they take. The dharmic perspective has always seemed so adaptable and resilient to me because it recognizes that existence is essentially impersonal. Or, perhaps more accurately/awkwardly, to what extent existence is personal, it is never personal in the way one thinks it is.

It is a lot easier to switch from believing one thing to believing another, then it is to not believe anything. I would also contend that not believing anything is distinct from believing nothing!