As someone who could take Olympic gold in overreacting, I understand. Especially if you are used to seeing or hearing something in a specific context.
Everybody experiences far more than he understands. Yet it is experience, rather than understanding, that influences behavior, especially in collective matters of media and technology, where the individual is almost inevitably unaware of their effects upon him.
I quote that because it fits what happens very well. The things that we experience have far deeper effects than we think we do, so when we see something expressed that we have experienced in a hurtful context, it causes us to rexperience in ways that seem odd for someone without that experience.
What it also seemed to be was a lack of understanding on both sides: from those who had never known the expression as a weapon, and your own experience where it’s never been anything but.
And I think that’s something that we all need to be aware of: sometimes we invoke things when we don’t mean to or ascribe ones that aren’t meant. Not out of malice, but simply because our experience has given us a different understanding than someone else’s.
The medium is important, too, because while we think of text as being more devoid of emotion than face to face, it’s not. A certain informational context is missing (we can’t read each others’ faces or hear tone of voice or rate of speech or a million other experienced but not consciously parsed pieces of data), it is still emotionally charged as each of us brings in our own experiences and we can’t separate ourselves from them.
TL;DR: there are some things people are always going to see things differently, due to different lives and experience. If I ever say anything that seems out of line or hurtful, please let me know, because I know my experience is limited and sometimes my mouth/fingers work faster than my brain and I may not always parse the problem.