Badass Dragoons of the Highlands - Call for Players

Seein as how ahv takin tae wearin aroon ma kneck when nae in use, ahv got fair guid at whippin it aff withoot too much damage tae masel. Added benefit of a deep cut aroon the throat is ye cover yersel in great fuckin gouts ae blood an see when a foe clocks ye wi that bright blue goad smeared all ower yer face and bright reed blood smeared awair else, I reckon it does them a wee bit of schtonner, ken?

Aye, an ye can gurgle through the throat hole fer the added effect o these big reed bubbles whit forth aroon yer pus like some unholy cravat. Aye, well distractin at the very least, an if ye got the mind tae dae it right, sortae hides yer throat from precision attacks I reckon.
Aye, only against dunderheids like. Onyone that can really hunnle themselves can aim through it but it works on them that’s nae expectin it.

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She’s ma gel, luv er I do. Gotten me oot a just aboot as mony fichts as she’s gotten me intae.

Total bastard tae get right but ah’ve been chippin awa at her fer aboot a hunner years noo an she’s flashy as fuck. Lightweight too, cause who the fuck can be ersed luggin aroon a bloody claymore a ower the place?

I’ve got opium smokin tae think aboot an it’s tricky enough keepin the cunndle lit wiout gettin at sticky fuckin stuff ab-SO-fuckin-lutely awhere. Ruined three good kilts when ah wis carryin that claymore an don’t even get me started on the number o seal skin sporrans ahve fucked up wi oil. Bastard stuff dusny come oot at a.


*peers confusedly at you

Wait a minute. If I’m seein double how come there’s mare than twa of yis? Am ah hallucinatin again? Franko’s laid mare bad shit on me hasn’t he? I swear tae the gods he is the worst opium barron ahv ever kent.

*shakes fist at sky

Stop cuttin yer shit Franko! I paid fer the good stuff ye bloody ersehole!

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Je suis sûr que vous le savez, mais les interdictions de 200 ans ne signifient rien aux immortels.

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Ooh, I heard about that! Ol’ Winking Marlon is who that was, way I heard it. That poor guy dropped out and became a band manager for The Kinks on their US stint, stayed with them all the way to the end. Said it was a lot less work, but missed getting the free shirts.

I have no idea what happened to him, probably like all the rest, put out to pasture by robots. Might even work at Urban Outfitters these days.

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Perhaps we’ll try a thousand.

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it’s tricky enough keepin the candle lit wiout gettin at sticky fuckin stuff ab-SO-fuckin-lutely awhere

Have you tried a vape?

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C’est tout la meme pour moi, tete de noeud; amusez-vous avec vos gros jouets lorsque la Corée du Nord a détruit votre grande ville. Vous ne pouvez pas remarquer la perte de cheveux des retombées radioactives, mais vomissez sur votre Westy et votre moto ne sera pas sympa.

Je connais Mark et Carla, je leur dirai quoi un ballot et un débile mental vous êtes.

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I’m dinnae really ken much aboot modern fashion pal, but’ahl tak a lookee if ye kin point us at wan. Whassit onywoy? Some kinda bib?

Mind, ahve just come affa wannae them Chinese opium barges an ahv abso-fucking-lutely nae idea whar ah am or whit year it is, so please excuse mah complete lack of cultural decorum. Ken?

*puffs obssesively on ancient, ornate, opium pipe that appears to be carved out of a human femur

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*stares at your sword, apparell and transportation for a few minutes

Eh, this stuffs no too bad I guess. Franko done me right after a.

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Grrrrrrrrrrrrr… RUFF.

You look… familiar

Hmmmmm.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

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Didat dug just spik!?

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Ha! You’re a funny one, I like you.

Your head will have a place of honor on my throne.

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Gunpowder, candlewax, femural blood, canine micturations…

this carpet smell really ties the gathering together.

#positivelyvintage

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The hangover I’ve got right now, yer welcome tae it!

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Photo needs a half-empty bottle of Courvoisier or Chivas Regal. That bottle up there looks like cheap Bacardi.

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What is your name?

Mr. Collins

What part of the world were you born in?

Alexandria, Egypt

What year was that? (note: must be prior to 1250 CE)

c. 3rd century BCE

What badass sword do you have in your hand right now*?

well, it looks like a papyrus scroll. But it is so much mightier than the sword…

Which band will eventually be tapped to do your soundtrack?
Kronos Quartet

For a reroll on your lowest stat, tell us about the moment in which you discovered or realized that you were counted among the immortals.

While desperately fighting off the Christians who came to burn The Library

I did not save The LIbrary that day, but many “Christians” discovered if they in fact had been saved.

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Although the window for character submission has elapsed, the game hasn’t started quiet yet.

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I don’t know about opium, sir, but I used to work in a tavern. The cheap stuff comes out once you’re too, um, drunk to stand. Perhaps this is similar.

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We’re almost ready to kick things off!

Where possible, I’ve attempted to infer your weapon of choice based on the information in your character registration. If I’ve gotten it wrong or you would prefer a different wording, just shoot me a quick PM.

As times change, the people call the land different things. Similarly, I’ve attempted to infer your origin based on what the land was called at the time your character was born to it and the people that inhabited that region. Again, please send me a PM if it needs correcting.

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Please head to Turn 1, as the game has finally begun.

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