Badass Dragoons of the Highlands - Call for Players

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Background
The Immortals. Across the long centuries, they have been shunned and feared by the rest of humanity. Forced to live secretly among us, the Immortals face a larger struggle - the battle for “The Prize”. For an Immortal can indeed be slain, but only when beheaded at the hands of one of their own. Half-remembered myths suggest that The Prize is of immense value and will alter the fate of the world itself.

Premise
This iteration of Badassery has been inspired by the 1986 cult classic Highlander. Your character is one of the Immortals, battling each other through the long centuries. No previous experience in Badass games is required and previous experience in Badass games will not offer any sort of advantage.

Player Requirements
The time commitment for this sort of game is about 10-15 minutes per week. Role playing is certainly encouraged but not required. Player orders for the turn will be submitted to a bot account via PM. A day before the deadline, the bot account will cheerfully remind you if you haven’t yet submitted orders for the turn.

Game Schedule
Registration will remain open until Sunday, Sep 24 at 8pm EDT. First turn will be posted by Mon, Sep 25 at 8pm EDT. Turns are due every Friday by 10pm EDT. I’ll use the weekend to compute the results, and a new turn will be posted every Monday evening until one player is left standing. Depending on the number of players, the game should run 6-8 weeks or so.

Player Registration

  1. What is your name?
  2. What part of the world were you born in?
  3. What year was that? (note: must be prior to 1250 CE)
  4. What badass sword do you have in your hand right now*?
  5. Which band will eventually be tapped to do your soundtrack?
  6. For a reroll on your lowest stat, tell us about the moment in which you discovered or realized that you were counted among the immortals.

* - We’re on ‘alternate earth’ for this game - so feel free to choose a sword from any point in history. For game purposes, all swords will perform equally in combat and behead equally well. The ‘best’ sword is whatever sword you happen to choose.

12 Likes
  1. Name - Ronald Belford “Bon” McEvoy
  2. Born - Forfar, Scotland. That’s in Angus.
  3. Date of birth - 9 July, 1246. Well, back then it was 26 June. I’ve outlived a pope or two, you see.
  4. Sword in hand - well, looks like it’d be this one:

Picked it up in a pawnshop in Fremantle, pretty long time ago now. Haven’t had to use it in ages, which is bloody fortunate for me, since it’s kinda like a Republican’s dick: limp and rusty and not even good for show, but oddly dangerous in the right hands. You might chip a tooth on the pommel.
5. Band? What… band? Hey, we’ve all moved on now, that was a lifetime ago. Well, one of 'em, anyway. The current lifetime has been spent in California, working at the SmogPros, picking up a little extra cash as a Lyft driver, and keeping my head down. That last lifetime was turning out to be a little too high-profile, fun as it was. So I took a page from Moony and the King’s book, pulled the plug on the legend, and lit out for the territories with a handsome but cold fake in my wake. Glad the lads carried on without me. It’s been good and quiet these past few decades. But somehow I got a feeling that quiet’s about to end.
6. The moment I found out about… aw, shit, that’s gonna take a bit to get straight. I’m gonna come back in a few hours and tellya, sure, but there’s a guy dinging the bell with an '81 Dodge Omni that’s never gonna pass, and I gotta break the news to him. Don’t worry, I’ll be back.

EDIT: All right, I’m back. Thing about anybody who’s still keeping an '81 Omni on the road in the 21st century, they’re not inclined to take No for an answer. Nor listen to reason.

So where was I…? Oh yeah… how I found out I was immortal. I started telling that story publicly back in '77. Ain’t you heard it?

One of me mates had a cousin, redhead she was. Not exactly pretty. Not exactly small. She’d cultivated a bit of a reputation for out-drinkin’, out-cussin’, and out-f***in’ any ten men in the county. Well, I’d developed a wee bit of a reputation meself, wasn’t about to let that slide without taking a crack.

Hardest I’ve ever worked in my life. When the dust settled, nine good men were stone dead, Rosie was winded but satisfied, and I’d learnt something new about myself. That took a bit of the spice out of the 13th century for me, but I ain’t complainin’.

Took a while before it occurred to me to wonder if there might be anyone else like me out there. Once I found out… well, that’s another song entirely.

14 Likes

Can I pick a fictional part of the world?

4 Likes

You bet! That’s the sort of thing that Alternate Earth is good for. We tend to be pretty fast and loose with character generation, so my guideline is “run with it”. In the exceedingly rare cases where an origin might clash with the game in some way, we’ll work it out.

7 Likes
_What is your name?_

Maud d’Oilly
What part of the world were you born in?
Noyers, Yonne, Bourgogne, France
What year was that? (note: must be prior to 1250 CE)
1062 CE
What badass sword do you have in your hand right now*?
Dandy Burdock Slashmaster, made by Fentiman

_Which band will eventually be tapped to do your soundtrack?_

Focus, Dutch prog rock band
For a reroll on your lowest stat, tell us about the moment in which you discovered or realized that you were counted among the immortals.
When I first picked up my sword and some jerk grunted and mimed difficulty lifting it to the merriment of other men, I yelled “Rosbifs! Vos mères sucent des ours dans la forêt!!” They ran away crying, probably to eat some boiled pudding with no cutlery.

14 Likes
  1. My name is Rachel McGinty
  2. I was born on a farm with no name. The first time I knew where I was, I was in Aberdeen, Scotland.
  3. When I found myself free in Aberdeen, it was 1205, and I was still a young woman. I don’t know what year I was born.
  4. My sword is this one:
  5. Concrete Blonde will do my soundtrack

I realized I was an immortal when I killed the man who stole me and held me captive. That was his sword, I cut off his head and ran off with it. When his henchmen tried to stop me, they couldn’t kill me.

16 Likes
  1. What is your name? Aeaba Teytor
  2. What part of the world were you born in? Albion … err, England
  3. What year was that? (note: must be prior to 1250 CE) 900
  4. What badass sword do you have in your hand right now*? The Mightier Sword (the unfortunate result of an unintentionally punny commission; no it doesn’t write “REALLY BIG LETTERS”)
  5. Which band will eventually be tapped to do your soundtrack? They Might Be Giants
  6. For a reroll on your lowest stat, tell us about the moment in which you discovered or realized that you were counted among the immortals: Aeaba should have figured it out a number of times. She was an extremely clumsy mortal. Shear dumb luck prevented her rebirth as an immortal until she turned 28. She “died” in a tavern fight when she stepped in front of a knife on accident. She wasn’t cut. She stumbled backward and hit her head on a table.

mightier_sword

16 Likes

Those that have survived know me only as the Ratchet. Lost to the mists of time I was once known to the peasants of Haemus as Baron Tomo Ustavljački Tocak Ručica. My plagued reign upon the Earth began in the year 666 of your Lord.

I find few worthy of the word foe, I mainly dispatch pests with an iron bar; those of Our Kind taste the sharp edge of my kilij, Pokolj.

Silence follows in my wake.
For a change of pace I have been known to enjoy a bit of ABBA. You really can move to it, you know?

I first discovered my true nature as a young man, it was the year 682 and as I was beating an errant urchin to death for muddying my cloak it’s bastard sibling pierced my back straight through with a pitchfork. The surprise at its impertinence did not dissuade me from the task at hand, nor dispatching the other. Staggering home I collapsed in the middle of the high road. The peasants dared not touch me until my family arrived; the timing of which coincided with my rising unscathed from the mortal wounds. Disowned by my father as a demon, I returned that night and slew him and thus assumed his title. It was not for another hundred and fifteen years that I would be driven from my estate when the bothersome priest organized the locals to drive me out as hellspawn. Since that time I have roamed destroying those hated houses of worship.

14 Likes

please allow me to introduce myself

I’m immortal,
of wealth,
and taste.

Been around for some badass years
Stole many a soul’s
hope and faith.

And I was 'round when Ole Gonville
Had his moment of doubt and pain.
Made damn sure that Cougar,
Ate her pizza,
and sealed her fate.

Pleased to meet you!
Hope you guess my name.
But what’s puzzling you is the
nature of my game.

I stuck around St. Beebessburg,
until I saw it was a time for a change.
Left the mod, and his minotaurs,
as the others, screamed in vain.

I exit left, held the banker’s flank
when the gamerkrieg raged, and the comments stank.

Pleased to meet you.

Hope you guessed my name.

Micawber.

Anyone but Oasis.

There’s that time I went dancing in the sheets

12 Likes

Shuffles in quietly…

What is your name?

Zero Demos

What part of the world were you born in?

Thera, but you probably know it as Santorini

What year was that? (note: must be prior to 1250 CE)

I can’t honestly remember. Something like 1600 BCE.

What badass sword do you have in your hand right now*?

A Damascus sword, made of finest wootz steel.

Which band will eventually be tapped to do your soundtrack?

Vangelis. Or Nana Mouskouri.

For a reroll on your lowest stat, tell us about the moment in which you discovered or realized that you were counted among the immortals.

If you know your prehistory, you’ll know that Santorini wasn’t a terribly great place to be 3500 years ago. Getting a volcano dropped on my head while I was out fishing with my brother was a bit of a shock. Waking up buried in lava was an even bigger one. Took (literally) lifetimes to dig myself out. I’ve had a bit of an issue with confined spaces ever since.

15 Likes

IMG_3075

  1. What is your name?

Bark McBarkruff

  1. What part of the world were you born in?

Bark bark bark bark. Woof bark bark bark woof ruff.

  1. What year was that? (note: must be prior to 1250 CE)

Bark bark ruff.

  1. What badass sword do you have in your hand right now?

  1. Which band will eventually be tapped to do your soundtrack?

Ruffbark Woofwoof

  1. For a reroll on your lowest stat, tell us about the moment in which you discovered or realized that you were counted among the immortals.

Woof woof ruffbark woof barkruff. Grrrrrruff bark woof bark barkwoof ruff. Barkruff yip rufff wooof.

15 Likes

What is your name?

Maple, Daughter of Pudf, Moosekin of the Clan Clamphoof

What part of the world were you born in?

Deep in the redwood forests of what will later be referred to as Canada

What year was that? (note: must be prior to 1250 CE)

424 CE

What badass sword do you have in your hand right now*?

Which band will eventually be tapped to do your soundtrack?

Disasterpeace, Disasteradio, or at least something retrofuturistic and synthwavey.

For a reroll on your lowest stat, tell us about the moment in which you discovered or realized that you were counted among the immortals.

After being slain in raid on a native american settlement I awoke after being slapped in the face by a beaver tail. I had fallen in a river and had ended up stranded behind a beaver dam. My lungs full, I coughed up so much liquid, painfully extracted several broken arrows from my chest and limbs and started back towards my village, wherever that might be.

On the way back I bumped into an old friend. They were incredulous that I was alive, they saw me fall from a high cliff with arrows in my front and back. I should be dead, that much was true.

I’ve ben cut through, had an arrow through the heart, and been left for dead many times since. I’m something of a myth among my people. A moosekin spirit lost somewhere between the trees and the forest, assisting those in need when dire times come.

I travel between villages, working my trade as a story teller and councillor. Of course I tell my now ancient stories in the third-person. Because of my young appearance, very few would begin to suspect that I am that very legend.

14 Likes

Man, your dedication to Moosekind is so much deeper than is mine to Space Lizards.

9 Likes

Beauty is only skin deep, and lizards ain’t admired for their skin.

7 Likes

image

I’m bored, anyone have any blow?

You mean, besides all the drugs that haven’t killed me?

This infernal world-wide-web-page refuses to allow me to submit infinite images.

So I did what any good scratch would do - I created a pinterest!

11 Likes

I have a headcanon about the badass-brand moose.

In Badass Space Dragons, the Space Moose peoples are an accidentally uplifted race from Old Earth who are now warp-capable.

This being Alternate Earth, the Moose-kin are a created magically/celestially/god-forsaken/whatever chimera race of man and moose. Obviously.

13 Likes
  1. What is your name?

I am Bag of Hammers, known to those who know me as BAG OF HAMMERS.

  1. What part of the world were you born in?
    

Um, Hammers. It’s a little tourist trap outside Cappadocia.

  1. What year was that? (note: must be prior to 1250 CE)
    

Well, hmm. I don’t rightly recall, as I was pretty young then. But from the wrinkles on mom’s face, let’s say…729 CE.

  1. What badass sword do you have in your hand right now*?  "Good Old N. 2", aka Skritcher of the Gods, their Cats, and My Butt.  That's right, you heard me.  Draw!
    

  1. Which band will eventually be tapped to do your soundtrack?  Sparks.
    
  2. For a reroll on your lowest stat, tell us about the moment in which you discovered or realized that you were counted among the immortals.
    

Well, it’d have to be when I was out grouse-pincing on the moors, and a mate said, “Hey, you go pince that grouse over by those deer. I’m just gonna take a wee snooze here.” So off I popped, never minding the two stags that were scrapping over the does, and charging at each other. They crashed together with a thunderous clack, which might sound romantic, had I not been at the center of that clack, with twenty-some-odd points of anler perforating my tender bod.

My mate dawdled to my side and gave me a quaff, which sprinkled cartoon-like on the unmoved heather which I lay on.

“I’ll die of thirst!” I cried.

“Ya daft ijjit, yer a Immortal, like!” said my pal, who immediately ceased worry, and back went quickly to his nap.

That was a real eye-opener, that day.

13 Likes

Grrrbark woofwoof rrrruff grrrrrr… haaaack haaaaaaccccckkkkk kffff grrraaaHEM !!

Mmmhmmm, excuse me, please! Apologies - my assistant just reminded me that I need to clear my throat before I speak, if I want anyone to understand what I’m saying.

What a delight it is to have someone around who is concerned with my well-being. After so many hundreds of years in which the suggestions of “throat clearing” were made by weapon-wielding zealots, it’s a refreshing change of pace.

I just wanted to let you know that I have a distant relation who may be able to help you out.

IMG_3092

10 Likes

Name- Shemp
Born- 2,344 BC in southern Babylonia
Badass sword- My sword is made of a giant lobster claw. You can laugh now but you won’t be laughing when I crack you head off. Clickity, clack!
Sound track - Seu Jorge
Story- I am Noah’s fourth and youngest son. In the confusion with getting all the animals on board everyone forgot about me. Left off the ark I floated my way through the flood. I might have died of loneliness if I hadn’t met Moe my pet jellyfish. Together Moe and I made it through the flood and built out first ship out of driftwood. We sailed the high seas wreaking revenge upon any children of Noah who dared to cross our path. We attracted a large crew because pirating is quite profitable. In 1886 BC Moe and I realized that we had outlived countless generations of our crew. That’s when we both realized that we were immortal and we have been sailing the high seas together wreaking havoc ever since.

14 Likes

*** B O Y ! ***

4 Likes