Yeah, it’s unfortunate about the chocolate cake, but cheesecake has calcium and protein and all that good stuff, so it’s gotta be good for you, right?
No, it doesn’t hafta. I mean, it can’t be eaten, and if it gets slipped into something edible and does get eaten, it’s full of cheese and protein and all that emetic stuff, so it’s gotta come up and do no good for you. Or at least for me.
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I see.
Well, I suppose I’ll have to take a hit for the team and have your cheesecake as well.
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Well my diet is no dairy so I’m pretty sure how he’d respond to that one.
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I see. I suppose I’ll have to take another one for the team and have your cheesecake as well. It’s tough being so noble… 
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You know, you say “noble” and yet I’m definitely detecting some sort of bull…
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I’m sure there are others to be found who would also be willing to be martyrs to the cause. Don’t hog all the glory!
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It’s out in the field inseminating the cows to make more cows to make more milk to make more cheese to make more cheesecakes. You might say that it’s a necessary part of the process…
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As long as its made with the good nacho cheese sauce (or cheesedog cheese), not velveeta or cheez whiz or one of the gross cheeses.
I don’t even like cake but the thought of a cake with nacho cheese for icing…mmm.
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Icing? On a cheesecake? Something like this? 
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That. It should have been a dark chocolate glaze.
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I’ve never understood the thick cheesecakes that are in vogue now. Give me a thin layer of cheesecake (made with sour cream) on a thick graham cracker crust and then a nice fruit topping.
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I think we’ve got a topic somewhere for cake… 
Judging from that picture, that’s an interesting definition of thin. Though, being cheesecake, I suppose I’d give it a pass! 
On somewhat science news…
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Why do I get the feeling the journalist was the first person to read the instructions?
Me, I would have skipped to the gem capsule/bottle insertion diagram, assembled it, filled it up with water, and then sat there, turning the bottle slowly, enjoying how the bottle glass and the water distorted how the stones looked. At least until I got thirsty.
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There is no wrong way to combine chocolate and cheesecake.
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Yeah, I couldn’t find an image that was what I really meant. About 3/4” high, then the fruit topping.
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There are very few right ways of combining chocolate and cheesecake: chocolate in the cheese mixture maybe (bitter cocoa by preference); dark chocolate glaze drizzled on top. The cheese mixture (essentially cream cheese, sour cream, sugar and sometimes eggs) provides all the sweetness the desert needs.
Milk chocolate icing? 
When I was a kid, cheesecakes were always quite tall and quite firm. This was true in Philly delis, where I first had 'em as a kid, and in Montreal, whether from Cantor’s or Woolworth’s cafeteria or wherever else I got 'em. The dessert has evolved considerably since the '60s.
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How about a chocolate graham cracker crust?
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OK, that works.
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