C'mon Guys (Toxic Masculinity)

Should be

a non-verbal emotionally stunted cowboy built like a He-Man that always skips leg day.

:man_shrugging:

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These guys are sooooo fucking stupid! I figured out at about age 16 that if I wanted to be with girls (and I really wanted to be with girls), in their bedrooms (squee!), then I needed to talk to them, and listen to them, and be nice to them, and let them do my hair, nails and makeup! But I guess I was just a totally gay ass beta loser, surrounded by estrogen oozing girls all the time! Girls who had sex with me. So gay!

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giphy

eta: Why don’t these men just emigrate to Russia? They can find manliness there, I’m sure.

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If I recall correctly some conservatives have done so, and… well, they did not have a good time there.

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The guys in high school who knew what’s what took Home Ec and sang in choir.

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One of today’s posts in the excellent Bushmiller bluesky acct.

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It seems like what many men think ‘should be’ attractive to many women often isn’t:

The fixation on hypermasculinity seems to have very little to do with what many women actually find appealing.

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My god though the focus on looks as the only aspect of beauty and masculine desirability though. JFC it’s like watching the male gaze on selfawarewolves!

I have to say their whole kind of paradigm about sexual attraction seems… Sad.

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Incels constitute a fairly small fraction of the manosphere, but the vast majority of incels appear to embrace the Blackpill ideology, per Beckett-Herbert. That nihilistic attitude can extend to any kind of participation in what incels term “Soyciety”—including educational attainment and employment. When that happens, such individuals are best described by the acronym NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training).

Well, this is a new one on me. Damn, men are fragile snowflakes, aren’t they?

ETA:

Many of these users also mentioned being autistic, in keeping with prior research showing a relatively high share of people with autism in incel communities. The authors were careful to clarify, however, that most people with autism “are not violent or hateful, nor do they identify as incels or hold explicitly misogynistic views,” they wrote. “Rather, autism, when combined with other mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and hopelessness, may make young men more vulnerable to incel ideologies.”

I will not accept “I am autistic” as a reason to hold these ideologies. I know lots of autists, none are Incels.

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On autism forums, however, it’s quite evident. Oh, poor me, I’ll never get laid and if I so much as look at a woman she calls the cops/gets HR to fire me/tells everyone to avoid me. I just want what every other man gets to have, but women don’t want autistic men.

Obviously not everyone, but it’s a pretty regular feature of such forums.

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There are three basic responses to an autism diagnosis, that I’ve seen. (And combinations and permutations, of course.)

  1. I’m autistic, huh. So, you know, that’s a thing.
    (this is information which may be relevant at some point, but most of the time I’m just trying to get by.)

  2. I’m autistic, which means I have to work harder for the same result.
    (I recognise that I have difficulties with some things, but that means I need to put more effort in if I want them. No-one’s going to do it for me, nor should they have to. It’s not fair, but it’s how it is.)

  3. I’m autistic, which means I can’t do it and everything should just be given to me or done for me.
    (I have a doctor’s note that says I don’t have to do stuff which is hard.)

That last one isn’t a symptom, it’s a choice.

Oh, and it manifests in various ways. At its most benign, it’s learned helplessness. At its most toxic, it’s a sense of universal entitlement. Combine that with toxic masculinity and it’s own sense of righteous universal entitlement, and you’ve got a powerful, poisonous combination.

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I would argue that those are the three basic responses to ANYTHING.

But yeah, the overload of entitlement plus righteousness is supremely toxic.

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brilliant response.
very sadly brilliant in the absolute truth of it.

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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert reports on the Manosphere:

That “nobody else is (or every will be) better than me” attitude makes me wonder - are they training their kids to have a twisted sense of nostalgia about them? It makes me wish they’d watch this video from Belle on a loop until the message sinks in:

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From the comments:

“If you think it is OK for others to suffer because you did and you came out OK, you did not come out OK.”

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My husband was just venting a bit about something like this, basically that these attitudes are basically glorifying and enforcing some degree of dysfunctional narcissism. I think I agree.

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Honestly, it would be better for everyone if these guys were all deeply closeted homosexuals or asexuals. But instead, they’re heterosexuals who don’t actually like women, who see women as (at best) a necessary evil for having sex and having a family. They’ve been raised and conditioned to hate, fear and despise femininity, and as a result they are cripplingly insecure, unhappy with actual real living women, and even more unhappy without them.

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