“…Shadow fixed the toilet with an old trombone…”
I’m quoting Tom Waits a fair am’t these days; well done me!
What’s the difference between a trombone player and a dead snake in the road?
The snake was on his way to a gig.
Trombonists gen’lly ahem double up with laughter at that one.
grammarly is an idiot.
Seems to me the obvious solution is to fly the rainbow flag in front of every church in the country.
It sure sounds like and reminds me of the Greek story of how Prometheus stole fire from the Gods. Imagining a story of a fabulous Prometheus-like figure stealing rainbows from the Christian God (or the Greek Gods) is super funny to me and honestly i need someone to write that story.
Not “girl”, but otherwise, yup.
I do get that it was to emphasize that’s he’s ’scared of girls’.
“Oh, Zeusdammit!” cried Iris. “I’ve looked everywhere for the blasted thing! Where is it?!”
“Whatcha missing, luv?” queried Hermes, leaning in as he was passing her open door.
“Oh, another bloody rainbow’s gone missing, that’s all!”
Hermes entered her brightly-colored abode, looking around for any sign of the offending atmospheric phenomenon. “That’s the fifth one this year, isn’t it?” he gently asked, as he leaned a shield toward him to look behind it, then began inspecting a bookcase, looking behind the scrolls and the bound volumes she’d grabbed while time-traveling.
“Yes,” she exasperatedly replied. “It’s driving me spare! I’m going to get in trouble if I can’t produce one soon.”
Hermes had moved on to examine another of her bookcases, which he always did in anyone’s home, only this time with a different purpose. “It has been a while. Have you looked out back?”
“First place I checked.” She flung her hands upwards. “Oh, this is awful! Thanks for helping me look.”
The final strains of a painfully sweet flute song wafted to their divine ears. Hermes jumped a little, then rushed to Iris’ side and took her hand. “Come with me! I think I can solve this problem!”
She almost flew to keep up with him as he dashed into the woods behind her home, still clutching her hand. He charged along an almost imperceptible path, yet making very little sound.
He stopped as suddenly as he’d begun their mad rush, and she bumped into him. Hermes pointed to a vast, venerable, twisted olive tree, and put a finger to his lips.
There they were, sound asleep. Ares and Pan were curled up together beneath its silver-leaved limbs, and wrapped in one of Iris’ rainbows like a blanket.
Iris and Hermes smiled at them, and each other. Hermes grinned, swept her into his arms, and silently sailed back to her house, where he gently set her down. They chuckled.
“Well, I couldn’t disturb them, even though I need a rainbow. They looked so sweet.”
Hermes grinned again. “Can’t blame you. Say, couldn’t you make another one and let them keep the one they have?”
“I guess I’ll have to!” she told him, with a small smile.
“Well, you set to work, and I’ll guard the door, so no one steals this one.” Iris laughed, affectionately patted his arm, and went inside. “Lock the back door!” he called to her.
"Doing that right now!" she called back to him, then sat down at her loom, and began to sing. It was a love song, a very old one, so old none of the gods knew its origin.
Hermes happily sighed. “Such a wonderful old song,” he said to himself. “And her voice really is heavenly.”
Glad it meets wif your approval. 
{I have seen a triple rainbow IRL}
Awww, bless!
But I assume it wouldn’t look like this, would it? With all three evenly spaced but only the third reversed? 
Am I the only person who, at very first glance, saw an iguana?
