I’ve had an abscess in the lower-left side of my jaw due to a bad premolar since last week. I went to the dentist last Thursday & got an Rx for a 10-day course of amoxicillin 500 mgs 3x daily. The swelling’s gone down, but not enough for it to stop hurting. I’m glad I don’t drink any more, 'cause I’ve been taking as much generic acetaminophen as my liver can handle, lol!
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I’ve been thinking about how my life is/isn’t going. I can’t afford to pay for car insurance and new license tabs for my car, so I’m considering selling my car. No one is buying my artwork, even though it’s great and is wonderful as a gift. I’m off my anti-depressant meds because I have no more refills, and I’m sick of waiting on hold to get a dr.'s appointment, and their online appointment function has never worked. I go for days at a time without seeing other people besides retail workers at the stores I walk to that are near my house. My phone rarely rings. My son has been sick with a cold that has a nasty cough with it (no high fever, and his sense of smell is intact). My cat no longer wants to be in the house, but on the back porch, though she still purrs when I interact with her.
Still, I’m here. I don’t know why or what for; I don’t care any more. I’m tired. I’m only 58 years old and I’m really tired of how this world is, not just for me but for others. We’re trapped in systems that have stayed in place for centuries because those in power stay in power because of those same systems.
SIGH.
oh yeah, and I had that tooth pulled just before my birthday last month.
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I’m sad that you’re having a rough time. There’s nothing I can do to help. But know this - I look forward to your posts/comments; they give me a different view on things. That matters, and you do make a difference in the world. Even if it’s not always obvious to you. Every day, every way, and yes even those interactions at the stores you walk to. The cashiers are people, and they are influenced by you.
Also, if you can’t get your meds, you might want to try calling your state’s PandAs. That’s what they’re trained to do and they’re supposed to be looking out for you.
If you’ve tried that and they’re not helping, or if it’s the doctor not approving a re-prescription, that really sucks and I wouldn’t know how to begin.
And yeah, I’m 45 and so tired, so tired, we can just do what we can do and hope the following generation does better.
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It’s more a matter of me not wanting to be on what seems like perma-hold. I did send a message to the office staff - “Office Staff” is indeed on the pull-down list of Athena Health’s messaging system - and gave a more detailed (over 250 characters) description of what’s going on.
I’m beginning to suspect they want me to come in so they can bill the state and get more $$$, because they were having me come in every three months, and without a car, I’m just not diggin’ walking three miles to their office. I’m going to show some restraint and not relate my opinion on the local public transit system. And there are free rides through Medicaid…but geez, being poor means jumping through flaming hoops of red-tape to prove that one’s poor enough to need assistance!
I mean, really!
And thank you for your concern. I sometimes launch into my blah-blah-blah forgetting to acknowledge the feelings of others. It’s heartening to know that I’m amusing someone besides myself. 
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How is the public transportation in your area? Maybe don’t sell your car — you’ll only get pennies on the dollar from my experience — but stash it for a while.
Where/how are you selling it?
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I live just five houses south of a east-west “mile road”, and most of 'em are main arteries in the Metro Detroit area, Eight Mile Rd, aka state road 102, is the most well-known of these, and has buses running all hours of day and night, so it seems.
But 10 Mile Rd., which is maintained by the counties it runs through, Macomb and Oakland, has buses that run only once an hour. And there are no shelters. Not even 11 Mile, which in Macomb County is the service drive for connector I-696, has its own every-five-or-ten-minutes line.
Detroit once had a wonderful public transit system…before the auto companies got together and made it so it wouldn’t stay wonderful, about ninety, hundred years ago. (I’m practicing great self-restraint by not going on a rant about this). How would it look if the so-called automotive capitol of the world didn’t have all its inhabitants driving cars? “We Almost Lost Detroit”, by John Fuller, illustrates in part just how foolish that idea is re possible evacuation; it’s about the partial meltdown of Fermi 1 in 1966.
The car was a gift from a Lady-Bountiful-type friend of a friend, who immediately quit communicating w/me when she found I wouldn’t become her sycophant.
I have one entry on Craigslist and a couple on FB Marketplace. I have no up-front money for a gallery or Etsy or Ebay or anything like that. What I want to do it have a show on my own property, preferably in my garage. Real raw and basic, lol.
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Lived in Troy for a year, long ago, and know how the whole region is not built for walking or public transit.
I have some of the same angsts, but less constrained financially. I don’t have answers, but I certainly hear where you’re coming from.
I like the idea of raw garage art showings. Maybe do some neighborhood advertising, and even if it’s a bust the first time or two eventually it can start a conversation. I’ve found even small connections with my neighborhood support my personal needs for finding meaning. There’s usually someone looking to have the same conversation I’m looking for.
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Independent coffee shops/cafes often will hang your art (with price tags attached) on their walls as a way to decorate and help local artists.
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In the city of Warren, the 3rd largest city in MI, there’s only one indie coffee shop that I know of that does such things, and they owner is a schmuck. There’s others in Mt. Clemens, and my brother knows quite a few business folks in the downtown area. But I’m tired of being “Lee’s sister”. And don’t they charge a commission if a piece of one’s work sells? Nope, not for me. They make money as it is, selling their own wares; I’m not going to let them profit off of me.
I’m also tired of dealing with middle-people. I want to deal with the public directly.
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Having lived a large chunk of my life in the Midwest, this is relatable. Busses suck and are not a legitimate form of public transportation.
You can only have a show in your garage after you become famous. Then it would be chic. If you’re not famous, no one will come.
I don’t think Craigslist will attract the kind of audience you need.
Take a look at this person (it won’t preview, apparently, but the link works:
https://instagram.com/taylorblackdesigns?igshid=MWI4MTIyMDE=
I know this person. I used to work with her before the pandemic. I can assure you that all the sunny positive attitude you see in her profile is fake. It’s an act. She took a class to learn how to market herself on Instagram. All she’s doing is making smeary paintings and marketing them as capturing the esthetic of Charleston. It’s brilliant! It’s like Shinola watches making a big deal out of being from Detroit.
One immediate thing you can do is take pictures of your artwork with better lighting. That would be a huge help.
And if you want help reformatting your résumé, send me the details in a message.
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I disagree. And “chic” means nothing to me.
I can’t pretend to be something I’m not in order to make sales. It was bad enough to pretend to be happy at my office-drone jobs; it did horrible things to my psyche. Also, Detroit (and what’s that Shinola remark about? I know it’s shoe polish often compared to shit.) is not Charleston.
Yeah, that’s always a problem. I’ll have to enlist my son to help me with that.
Thanks for the advice.
so fucking cold this week and the floorboard boiler isn’t keeping pace.
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Been through that…hope you’re able to get and stay warm soon.
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Sorry. I’m sure you get more advice than you need.
My offer to help with a resume wasn’t some suggestion out of left field. I often help friends with resumes, business cards, logos and whatnot. It’s one of the few helpful things I know how to do.
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My current resume has more gaps than you’ll find in abandoned malls.
… or more specifically, fuck Thursday in advance
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Stay warm! We’re getting some of it here on the East coast too.
Tonight it’s 15° but luckily no wind. Christmas Eve and Christmas it’s supposed to get down to 10° with wind chill below 0, then not get back above freezing at all until next weekend.
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Yeah I’m really nervous about travel because my route to my mom’s involves going over some really steep mountains in the middle of nowhere. There’s lots of truck traffic there, and to give you an idea of how steep it is, there are these off ramps on several of the down sides of the mountains where an out of control truck can turn off the road and pile into a big sandpit. Like this:
I’m terrified there will be ice on these roads. Southerners cannot drive on ice and even if we could, the steep pitch would make it scary.
Fortunately it doesn’t look like we are getting precipitation, just really cold weather. Planning to travel mid-day Saturday and pray for the best.
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Be careful!
My bad news is that one of our best friends died unexpectedly last Sunday. She was only 53, and didn’t have any health problems that would have predicted it. I haven’t been able to post this till now due to shock.
And the funeral is Friday but we’re probably not going because of rain and snow – the roads will probably be dangerous.
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May she rest in peace
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