The opening paragraph was a bit cringy. They didn’t say what happened, they didn’t say whose fault it was, and they didn’t say they were upset by it or that it was completely contrary to their principles. What’s more, they offered an “I’m sorry you were hurt” to the victims, and I could hear the crickets chirping as they offered precisely nothing to make it up to those victims.
The other two paragraphs were empty verbiage designed to give the illusion of wheels being in motion, but in the immortal words of Babu Bhatt, "There are no wheels. There is no motion. "
I give this apology a D minus. They turned something in, but they barely tried and it’s obvious they learned nothing.
One step above an apolohno (not to be confused with the figure skater)
A gang rape so bad that the first trial for the first defendant (the only minor) came back with a strong guilty verdict and the judge in that case actually commented on the record regarding the decision in the following case with the two adult defendants, because of how egregiously wrong it was:
I wonder why this was a bench trial and not a jury trial. Did the defendants request it, knowing that they’d have a better chance to convince one person that it was consensual than twelve?
Probably their lawyer recognised that the judge would be sympathetic, whether due to past decisions or comments at dinner parties about poor men’s lives getting ruined by false accusations, and petitioned for it.
Unfortunately, there are plenty of those on the bench.
I loved (and by “loved” mean “my eyes rolled hardest at this point”) when he said he couldn’t tell his wife or deactivate his account because his wife would be devastated and he needs the account for work. In other words, “But that would mean facing consequences!”.
I hate how the women in these threads are like, “I didn’t want him to get fired. His work was important.” FUCK THAT NOISE. He is a freakin’ creep. There are other good reporters who are aren’t creeps. Maybe the paper can hire one of those.
Wait… But if it were really an accident, it would be no big deal, right? I mean, his wife or his boss or possibly anybody else in the world would believe that it was just an accident, right?
What an accident, huh. He must really have egg on his face.
