Not Feminism 101

Preach, part deux. In the car on the way home from Thanksgiving at in-laws, I had a long conversation with my privileged, white, male, 15-year-old about what that means for him in this world. Not to make him feel badly, but to impress upon him that the moral cost of such privilege is an imperative, a debt that must be paid. If that sounds harsh, well, I don’t want my son to ever stand quietly aside while that asshole Keith harasses someone, or worse.

17 Likes

Compulsory Python

7 Likes

As a not pretty girl, I totes relate.

5 Likes

Excellent point.

5 Likes

A long time ago in another life and province, I was QA for a manufacturing company.

The production floor was 99.99% men. Cabling or PCB was often 40-60% women, but the production floor where they assembled all things the other departments made into actual product, 99% men. Save for me, and sometimes Stacey from Repairs. All the production floor guys had their own workbenches, and they would put up the pin-up girls from FHM or GQ or whatever. Which, fine, whatever, I don’t care. Until they started putting up pin-ups of actual pornstars, some in in actual porn acts with strategic post it notes covers. Once these went up, they started making comments to me, and to Stacey. Now I’m no shrinking violet, and I can give as good as I get, even better most days. I even made one yokel leave the production floor in tears because he’d tried to get my goat and I got his instead. But Stacey? Stacey was very young, very sweet, and very innocent, and they made her cry. So I complained.

Nothing happened. I was told that Stacey needed to stand up for herself, that the pin-ups weren’t that bad, and that “boys will be boys”.

Fine.

I bought all naked Firemen calendars I could find. And Stacey and I, and any other woman we could conscript hung them EVERYWHERE. In the lunch room, in the washroom, in QA, in Parts, in shipping, everywhere a different ripped greased up and naked fireman.

3 guesses what happened?

I got called into the Production Managers office. First I got told that the guys in production had complained. Then I got told to take down my calendars. “Because the guys are upset”. So I refused, and pointed out that when I was “upset” about the pin-ups I was told to suck it up, so the guys can suck this up. Then we got a company wide memo that ALL pin-ups had to come down, including calendars.

But the only person who got reprimanded or in trouble in any way at all? Me. Because whats good for the goose is not good for the gander and never is. /sigh

Its funny that this story came to mind today…

Firemen with puppies added for context:

22 Likes

The more things change…

6 Likes

Humor is usually more specifically a display of social intelligence, which is a highly desirable trait in a mate of any gender.

6 Likes

Yes, this.

I’m all for freedom of expression, but unless it is sex work, there’s no place for sex or sexual media in the workplace. Even if it’s sex work, there are generally guidelines and barriers you don’t cross.
One of my artist’s models, now a friend, used to be a dancer/dominatrix/centerfold and had so many horror stories about men who just couldn’t grok boundaries.

15 Likes

So my ability to rattle off math puns will get me nowhere? :wink:

4 Likes

That sounds like a good way to weed out folks you’re not going to gel with anyway, and encourage those who will pun along with you.

8 Likes
14 Likes

This isn’t about you, but about how there is a normative view on beauty and that such things have consequences for women.

11 Likes

Would it be too much to spoiler-tag dog-pictures?

1 Like

Are you referring to the puppies?

3 Likes

Yes.

1 Like

I honestly feel like I have seen so much coming (and not been believed about it) that I should change my name to Cassandra.

6 Likes

Does that mean spoiler tagging @MissyPants avatar? Because that one’s kinda tough

5 Likes

On the other hand, I don’t bigger harder penises, or the idea that 1/2 or 1/3 of the population should want them, are an innate drive:

http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2006/05/23/what-was-that-about-patriarchy-hurting-men-too/

1 Like

I can ignore that, though I sometimes have trouble with larger avatars on some other sites.

A product of Freud and Bernays, taken to the logical extreme. *sad head shake*