Before the balloting at the Papal Conclave, the candidates must be vetted.
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maths is the gateway drug.
soon they’ll be hooked on phonics.
save yourselves. a life of academics is not living. (/s)
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God damn it, every time someone posts something from the Borowitz report, before I see that, I think, “holy shit, WTF, is that REAL”?
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I have the same thought of “is that real?” for a moment 
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If you leave it blank, does it get scored as correct? 
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Circle just the 0% in 60%. Since it is not one of the options given, the chance of guessing it randomly is 0%, which means it is a correct answer.
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This is actually a joke…
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No manners necessary in Atlanta? Mostly agree.
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Have you had the “pleasure” of driving 285, too? Certainly no manners there!
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one day at school, after having lived in the south for probably a few months, one of my classmates handed me How To Speak Southern. he had a huge grin on his face. it was a thick pamphlet which gave the impression that it was vended from a greeting card rack in a gas station convenience store.
I don’t even remember that kid’s name, but it remains one of the most thoughtful, memorable gifts I’ve ever received. the fact that we were only acquaintances but he wanted me to have it is not something I had ever experienced in the north, accentuating that this was truly a cultural exchange.
that copy is long gone but nowadays it and the sequel pamphlet are compiled into this classy, hardbound edition. opened to a random page:
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