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The steeples chime noon as you step onto the street from Leviathan’s into the midday mist. Urchins run to and fro hawking the latest edition of the local broadsheet. You exchange a few trifling coins for the paper that you might be properly prepared with the news of the day.
Player database: read-only view of all players for the spreadsheet-inclined
Cmdr Damerl Capstanturnbuckle
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 290 | 19 | 24 | 20 | 27 | 20 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Decapoda Downs | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
| Tom Ratchetcrank | -50 | 0 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 450/turn
Duchess Gummibunns
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 275 | 19 | 23 | 24 | 20 | 18 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Lumpy Estates | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 500/turn
Aaaakzeee St-Patrick-Hartbrooke II
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 295 | 22 | 26 | 16 | 24 | 22 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Hartbrooke Hall | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 500/turn
Reginald Oblongnoknees Ursulak Nock-nock Dipswitch, VII
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 310 | 20 | 24 | 15 | 19 | 23 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Pouncington Boxfort Castle | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
| Mr. Liversnaps-Grayson | -50 | 0 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 450/turn
Lt. Erythro Brummell (ret)
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 300 | 21 | 24 | 20 | 24 | 19 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Cthonington Grove | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
| Qaaxtzl | -50 | 0 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 450/turn
Hieronymoose Farnsworth, III
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 325 | 18 | 22 | 26 | 21 | 26 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Abacus Racks | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
| Rockford Julius | -50 | 0 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 450/turn
Olivier Richard Pierre Jean-Robèrt Sylvain
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 300 | 19 | 23 | 26 | 21 | 21 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| DeForest Hall | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 500/turn
Cmdr William T. Piker
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 290 | 24 | 18 | 20 | 21 | 19 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Riker Stream Ranch | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
| Ens Walleye Crusher | -50 | 0 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 450/turnPlayer database: read-only view of all players for the spreadsheet-inclined
Lady Jane
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 300 | 21 | 24 | 24 | 20 | 17 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Thunder Down | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 500/turn
Dr. Heinz Franksenketchup
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 305 | 19 | 20 | 23 | 25 | 22 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Castle Ponsfleischmann | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 500/turn
Elizabeth Mary Farnsworth VI
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 315 | 24 | 23 | 17 | 16 | 20 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Farnsworth Downs | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 500/turn
Carcinogennifer Honeyvenom
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 300 | 24 | 22 | 23 | 22 | 17 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Dewclaw Manor | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
| Ssskidwish | -50 | 0 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 450/turn
<pleasing hum>
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 285 | 23 | 21 | 22 | 19 | 21 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| <dissonant chord> | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 500/turn
Julius Rothschild Karekin
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 295 | 24 | 22 | 21 | 21 | 21 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Waddeson Manor | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
| Eighth | -50 | 0 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 450/turn
Jean-Rhys Witherspoon Wilhelmina Winnifred Rodchaser née Westingham
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 300 | 20 | 20 | 23 | 20 | 22 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Coulibri Island | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 500/turn
Eudaemonia Betalinda Ponsonby-Britt
+-Health-------------+-RANK-+-PER-+-FSH-+-BUS-+-MIL-+-EDU-+PLUCK+
| Hale & Hearty (10) | 295 | 22 | 21 | 24 | 22 | 19 | 0 |
+--------------------+------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
+--- Holdings ---------------+---Net---+-Income-+-Upkeep-+Change+
| Bedlams Bower | 500 | 550 | -50 | 0 |
+----------------------------+---------+--------+--------+------+
| Income: 500/turn[GM Note: I always manage to underestimate the time required to get things out of the starting gate. Choices for the turn along with additional information will be posted tomorrow evening.]
“Oh, for heaven’s… sir! That is… I mean, Ssskidwish! Ssskidwish, present yourself immediately!”
“Whaddaya want, Lieutenant?”
“Ahem… sir. We’re in public now. Ixnay on the iplay. I’m the social superior now, remember?”
“Ah, right, right… (ahem). 'Ow might I be o’service today, your lizardship?”
[whispering] “Sir, I think we might have miscalculated a bit. I thought it a sure bet that we’d maximize our investment by infiltrating society in the role of fetching and innocent heiress (that’s me) and sharp-eyed but utterly-beneath-notice loyal old retainer (that’s you).”
“O’ course you thought it a sure bet. I thought it up, I did, didn’t I?”
“Indeed, sir, indeed… and yet cast your eye upon this morning’s broadsheet.”
“Nice price for sandfish in the market, I must say…”
“No, sir, above that.”
“…”
“Do you see the society column?”
“Er… yes…”
“Ms. Applethwaite’s salon?”
“Aye, that I do…”
“Sir, was that you?”
“Well… 'ard to tell, lieutenant, it was hours ago…”
“Sir, did you just out yourself to the entire high society of Weatherby by making a drunken fool of yourself at one of the highest-profile salons on the planet?”
“Mightn’t have been me. There’s no name mentioned…”
“Sir, what are we to do?! Their wind will be up! There’s no mention of an arrest, a scuffle, an escape, or any devouring of the miscreant, so whether or not it was you, everyone’s going to be keeping a sharp eye out for a rough-edged Space Lizard with a trick cloaca and a somewhat gamey aroma! The game is up!”
“Well, don’t hang all the blame on me, lieutenant! I told you I should play the ingenue, and you portray the servant, but for some reason you found that concept utterly risible.”
“Sir, there’s only one thing for it. Since you can’t be trusted to be the face of this operation, I’m going to have to make you my ward.”
“Your… your ward?”
“Yes.”
“…what’s that, then?”
“They’ll be looking for a foul-mouthed lizard of the second or third class. They won’t be looking for an underage pretender.”
“Lieutenant Gilligan, this time you’re going too far…!”
“You force my hand, sir! Now don this bonnet, put on my second-best frock, and as you value our lives, make no further sound or action except in the persona of Miss Ssskidwish, my third cousin once removed.”
“Miss Ssskidwish?!”
“This is your fault, sir, don’t pretend it isn’t. I’ve been wearing a dress all week; I assure you you’ll find it comfortable and convenient. Your cloaca will have never been freer.”
“I highly doubt that, Lieutenant.”
“Oh, one last thing. I know this might hurt a bit, but I fortunately happened to bring along these pliers just in case of emergency…”
scufflescufflebangwrenchpopyelpscufflewrenchpopyipe!
“Ow, that thmartth, you inthubordinate thun of a motherleth thkink!”
“I am sorry, sir, but it needed to be done!”
“You… you pulled out my fangth! My venom-fangth are… Herpeton take you, I haven’t lithped in two thenturieth, and now I thound like an unblooded teenager! Thith ith intolerable! You’ve rendered me defenthleth! What if thomeone challengeth me to a fang-duel?”
“That won’t be an issue on Weatherby, sir. We won’t be needing your martial skill, at least not yet. For now, we need to assimilate into society and rise like the cream we know ourselves not to be.”
“How am I thuppothed to aththimilate if I’m thpitting all over everyone with every third word I thay?”
“For now, try to keep your mouth shut, at least until the bleeding stops. You’re making me feel quite queasy.”
“Oh, lieutenant, you’re going to pay for thith. At the very leatht I’m going to butht you down to enthign, onthe we get our thip back.”
“One last adjustment, sir. You’re going to need to raise your voice an octave or so. You know, to pass as a young girl.”
[falsetto] “What, like thith?”
“That’ll do, thank you.”
“What in hell for?”
“Because we need to marry you off, and the sweeter and more innocent we can sell you, the higher price you’ll fetch.”
“Why the hell aren’t we thelling you off, you thtripling amphibian?”
“We already paid the bribes and obtained the credentials; you said so yourself, sir. Can’t go back to Bartlebot now. You’ve simply gotta pass as the young and fetching and well-cultured Ssskidwish, sleek of limb, dewy of dewclaw, moist of scale, and prim of cloaca.”
“Well, that’th uth doomed, then.”
“I’d be lying if I said I thought well of our chances, sir. Nevertheless, here we are.”
“Indeed. Well, then, couthin… shall we thally forth onto the promenade and find what fortune we may?”
“Off we go, then.”
“Betht thing we have going for uth ith your Pertheption, Couthin Carthy. Thould help uth maintain thith detheption ath well ath could be dethired.”
“One can only hope, cousin Ssskidwish.”
“You’re right about the dreth, though. My cloaca hathn’t felt thith free in yearth.”
Miss… Honeyvenom, is it? I’m pleased to meet a fellow graduate of my alma mater, though I must confess that I do not recall that name in the rolls at Madam Scallopini’s, though it’s become apparent that the education we received there was, apparently, not quite up to par, and this may be reflected in my inability to recollect. Or, in fact, my ability to form coherent sentences, silly me.
As the case may be, my interest in introducing myself to you is primarily with regards to that… interesting frock. I simply must know the name of your dressmaker.
Somewhat warily, a nervous lad slinks by
“As has oft been noted, newcomers to Weatherby have managed to break into the bottom portion of the upper crust of society. Sensible individuals worked relentlessly to improve their income, as this in turn would make them even more attractive to good families as prospects for pair bonding. Being known to possess an income 2000£ or more per season draws the attention of a large number of promising options from the ranks of Citizen Pretenders everywhere and maximizes the potential for generating a worthy heir.”
- Abernathy Happenstance, A Social History of Weatherby
All characters are subject to the whims of fate. At the moment, one might expect the following:
Turn 1 risks: Outside chance of a decline in health that would likely be very minor.
Turn 1 rewards: Longshot chance of a modest improvement to income.
Choose only one of the following options as well as how much you wish to invest in that option. Greater investments results in greater economies of scale. A higher relevant stat will further improve outcomes, but to a lesser extent than the size of the investment. For example:
Invest 1 300
or
Invest 4 175
Option 1: Invest in the newly released tracts: With the new deeds offered by City Hall one may secure a share of the bounty of Weatherby. A local broker will help identify the optimal choices for your investment based on your available funds and disposition.
Option 2: Invest in shares in a new shipping line: The offworld import/export business holds many opportunities for both getting Weatherbean goods to the galactic market as well as bringing new delights to the local economy.
Option 3: Invest in an expedition to the hinterlands: Large portions of Weatherby still remain unexplored. Scholars and prospectors alike occasionally ask for funding in return for a share of the results. Most of the time they even come back.
Option 4: Invest in a local print enterprise: Freedom of the press belongs to those that own the presses. This represents an excellent opportunity to dive headfirst into the lifeblood of the city: gossip, rumor, and innuendo.
Option 5: Invest in a local educational institution: Many individuals feel a warm sense of belonging when thinking of one’s alma mater and wish to contribute to the future success of the institution. Such donations often open the doors of the institution to beneficial appointments.
Optional: One may choose to wager on this season’s Lagoderm race. Merely select a promising creature from the Sports & Leisure section and also indicate the size of the wager. Example:
Wager Hamdinger 100
The goods in the market district will be available from turn to turn, although prices may change. One may upgrade or downgrade in any given category from turn to turn as needed.
Rent:
Optional: One may procure personal quarters within the city at the current market rate. Any change of quarters comes with an additional 25£ fee for moving services. Example:
Rent Spartan apartment
Nature of Quarters Upkeep Effect
-------------------- -------------- ---------------
Spartan apartment 75£ per turn +50 rank
Modest apartment 200£ per turn +75 rank
Proper apartment 400£ per turn +150 rank
Buy:
Optional: One may purchase various items to enhance ones abilities in various aspects. These items will change from season to season depending on current fashions and availability. Purchases of the same object beyond the first will have no further effect. What on earth would one do with two monocles?
35£ Fancy Monocle (EDU+4, FSH+2)
75£ Scarlet Sash (MIL+8, FSH+2)
50£ Signet Ring (FSH+6)
15£ Quill and Inkpot (PER+3)Please submit orders in the sanctioned Public Ledger. A valid set of orders for this turn might look like the following:
Invest 4 300
Wager Bricklayer 25
Rent Spartan Apartment
Buy Fancy Monocle
Buy Quill and Inkpot
Weatherby can be intimidating to newcomers, so I am happy to answer any questions. When in doubt, focus on your character’s choices as the actual numbers behind the scene are somewhat less important in the big picture this time around.
Due to the delay in presenting turn options, order submissions will be due by Sat Feb 17 @ 6pm EST.
Excuse me, dear chap.
I’ve never been very good at reading ledgers (my grandfather, God rest his soul, would be crestfallen to see it, businessman that he was).
Seeing as this is the first pay interval after coming into society, am I to assume that the amount of money that I am currently free to spend on endeavours is equivalent to the number listed as “income?”
And, from that, any amount unspent will be varied forward to the next pay interval? I do not wish to assume; after all, if it does not carry forward, I clearly gain the most benefit by exhausting my full funds at each interval.
I would be most grateful if you could enlighten me on this matter.
The current sum in ‘Income’ is available for spending. Anything left over will be carried over into ‘Savings’ in the next season (and also available for spending in addition to one’s income). In the event that untimely events or market fluctuations result in any thorny financial problems, one will have the next season (turn) to sort things out.
One is certainly best served by investing or spending the totality of one’s income each turn, or if one is more cautious, the bulk of it. A proper sentient of means certainly strives to demonstrate those means at every opportunity.
A public ledger, how globbing charming! I haven’t seen one of these in ages! It made currency out of the most fresh things: doge, crypto cats, and digital tulips. I lost a fortune though, when my things were spaced that one time… Like, how many suns does it take to power this decentralized, public space ledger? Weatherby is surely something special!
Of course, of course. I am somewhat familiar with the nature of high society.
But please, accept my sincere thanks for the explanation.
If I may descend for a moment to gossip, may I ask how Mr. Boulderclaw stays in business? The odds given for those races total to more than 100%.1 If this is a trend, he must regularly lose more money than he takes in.
Totaling to less than 100%, I could understand, as every business needs a profit margin, but I must admit that I did not expect a bookmaker to be running a charity.
1
1/11+1/9+1/13+2/9+3/13+1/15+1/13+4/15 = 490/429 =~ 1.14
Do we not, as excellent gentlesentients of standing, have access to lines of credit?
Isn’t it terribly gauche to spend our actual holdings?
Begging your pardon, but the 14% represents Mr. Boulderclaw’s margin in the endeavor. Although it seems counterintuitive at first, it is in fact standard practice for oddsmakers everywhere.
Of sorts - the Bank of Weatherby will automatically extend a loan to any gentlesentient that finds themselves in unexpectedly dire straits. In time and perhaps with greater access to and sway with the financial sector, improved options may allow access to immediate lines of credit for leverage in larger negotiations.
Not at all! The alternative is to trade the sweat of one’s brow for a wage. Having holdings that generate passive income liberates the finer members of society from the toil and misery of a hand-to-mouth existence.
Well then, I shall simply have my manservant place my orders, and accounts shall surely be settled up at a later date. It ill-becomes us to quibble over figures when a gentleman is always good for his debts.
Ah, yes. Thank you. I believe I had the meanings of the final numerator and denominator reversed in my mind. As I have said, no head for bookkeeping whatsoever. My thanks once again for the information. I shall consider my investment based on the information you have so kindly provided.
A good day to you, sir.
So. This is Weatherby. A young man, perhaps about thirty, steps into the sunlight and adjusts the smoked glasses covering his eyes. He is slightly above average height, of a slender build but one that hints at a certain athleticism. He’d expected… he isn’t sure quite what he’d expected, but this isn’t exactly it.
He flags down a paper boy, surreptitiously adding a couple of extra coins to his payment. “Don’t tell your boss,” he murmurs, just loud enough so only the boy can hear him. “Anything good that isn’t in the paper?” The best news never is, after all, but a lad like this hears everything. Paperboys, messengers… no one ever notices them and everybody talks freely as a result.
Scanning the sheet confirms his suspicions. Merely the news that’s fit to print, and not much of it at that. Sounds like a bit of a party he missed, but other than that… One of the smaller items catches his eye, and he smiles slightly, but without a lot of humour. “Interesting.”
First things first, however. He’s supposed to be making money. “There’s that every week, if you keep me up-to-date,” he informs the paperboy. “Bonuses for anything really interesting.” Half the key to beating the other guy is knowing something he doesn’t. Most Citizens wouldn’t think a pretender would know anything of value, but Liv knows that sometimes they’re the only ones that know anything of value. As for the cost… well, everyone knows that you need to spend money if you’re going to make any money. Well, someone said it once, anyway.
Meanwhile at Abacus Racks
"I simply cannot believe this … place … will not recognize a proper title handed down to me by my Father’s bookkeeper. But then I suppose that no one at Leviathan’s was held in any higher regard. But still…
“If I am to regain my proper place among the elite, I shall be forced to fall back on my old Price Watermoose days and see what can be done about that.”
With that, Hieronymoose begins to look through the papers that had been delivered to Abacus Racks in his abscence.
"Hmmm. Weatherby’s Home for Wuthering Wights… what type of school is this? I won’t be giving the undead any of my monies.
"The Moon and Stars. Weatherby’s Source for gossip and intrigue. It would do no good to be part owner ofthe very rag that will be talking about me. No, no, no.
"Oh, an expedition into the unknown. I’ve had my fill of marching and can’t say I’d pay anyone else to do so.
"Import/Export. Tempting. Perhaps I could get Rocco on with them. Hmmm.
“Oh. My. What is this. Real Estate. Father always said they weren’t making anymore of that. Oh yes, Real estate.”
Setting that pile of mail aside, Hieronymoose, looks through another stack of papers.
"Hmm. Lagoderm racing. Oh that takes me back to ol’ Ben Wheat’s. Maybe just a few pounds for ol’ time’s sake. {sigh}
"And if I am to fit in around here, I guess I must purchase some of this season’s accessories.
“Rocco! Rocco! Where is that lad. I must find marry him off to someone before he becomes the Scandal de’Jour”
With that, Hieronymoose once again donned his great coat and hat and proceeded to do the rounds of the other estates.
[a devious lust briefly passes through your body]
{OOC: Request has been made to remove my GIFs due to epilepsy concerns, sorry to those affected!}