Redoubtable Downtown Space Abbey - Turn 3 - Pomp and Promenade

"Relaxth, couthin, all ith well. The plague hath not croththed our own doorthtep, we have famouthly tough conthtitutionth, and fortune thmileth on our every endeavor! Don’t worry your pretty thcaly little head about any of it. The money? Thafe and thound in my own pocketth. Why? Well, thertainly you underthtand that ath commander of thith little exthpedition, I hold the rethponthibilitieth to choothe our invethtmentth. I know, I know, it’th all in your name, no quethtion. You jutht go on being the fathe of the operation, let me control the purthe-thtringth. (Thorry, got a little thpittle on you there. Well, that’th what you get for yanking out my fangth, Lieutenant, don’t act like it’th all my fault.)

“Anyway, I’m back, and we have plenty of time. That contact you made at the thalon lookth to be motht advantageouth to uth; I think we can take her at her word. We were right to take the thwankier digth. I could get uthed to living like thith, but more importantly, it’th really helping out our thtation. I thay we keep movin’ on up. That’th going to require further invethtment…”

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“But sir! I mean… Cousin Ssskidwish! Remember the plague! We must contribute to the medical mission! We mustn’t forget those unfortunates who lack our reptilian foresight and serpentine savvy!”

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“Not one farthing, couthin! To do tho would be tho far outthide the tradition of the Gentlethentient Thpace Lizard ath to arouthe intolerable thuthpicion! At any rate, I do believe thothe cothtth are already being covered by half a dozen rubeth down at the Leviathan! Why thould we follow them down the thpendthrift-thlicked thlide to thuckerdom and thqualor when thith hardthip of otherth only benefitth our own chantheth of thuccethth? Chritht, where’th my toolbox? I need to thcrew in thome replathement fangth, thith ith killing me…”

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“I… I cannot believe it. You’d sacrifice the lives of all those people, just to maintain your social standing?”

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Our thocial thtanding, thweetheart, and I’ll thank you not to forget it. Now, I’m off to plathe our orderth for the theathon in your Ladythip’th name, if there won’t be anything elthe?”

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[horrified silence]

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ENSIGN CRUSHER TO COMMANDER PIKER, REPORTING IN

Good news, Commander. Expedition went smoothly. Travel was easy, .Nautical Echolinguistic Traps (.NETS) performed as per specification, and my guide, Monsiour Liversnaps-Grayson was, as they say here, a good boy.

Results of the .NETS evaluation is negative. There’s no sentience emerging in the species of that fishery.

/OVER

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COMMANDER PIKER TO ENSIGN CRUSHER

That’s for the fortunate report, Ensign. I have good news as well. Dr. Tunas-Lee reports a breakthrough in inter-connnecting our .NET devices ! Report once back to our spartanical apartmente to begin implementing those inter-connections. Estimates indicate that it will take a season to perform the upgrade. But we’ll need it: in addition to the fisheries that have already lined up to be surveyed next, Weatherby has seen several new fisheries discovered. I will reach out to try to obtain permission for us to survey them as well.

/OVER

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Acknowledged.

Commander… how’s Rounder doing?

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He’s been resting, Walleye. Frankly, he seems to be cat-napping quite often, but that’s not always unusual among felinoids. I will send him our regards, and any assistance we can muster.

In the meantime, we’re investing in the ore vertical.

We may not survey every fishery nit,

We may not inspect every cannery bit,

But if we know who’s smeltin`

We may very well find who dealt tin

image

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chakkaChakkaCHAKKA-tic!

Why yes! Yes, hello-there! The days are long but autumn is coming!

Cmdr Damerl Capstanturnbuckle (@pogo)
Jean-Rhys Witherspoon Wilhelmina Winnifred Rodchaser née Westingham (@MrMonkey)

have yet to record their intentions. Please note that 10 hours remain for your intentions to be recorded in the Public Ledger.

bleep!

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