I HAVE SEEN THE SIGNS AND THEY TELL ME THE WAR SHALL END POORLY FOR ALL INVOLVED
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I ALSO SEE GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT SURROUNDING THE REPLY TO YOUR ROMANTIC LETTER…
Oh. That’s just the reply I received. Never mind.
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Weatherby is known for her remarkable springtime sensations…
With the whipweed blossoming by the riverside…
Trees and flowers blossom across the parks and promenades of Weatherby and the scent is nothing short of intoxicating.
Ah, ah, ah… ACHOO!
Health (-2): The plague blossoms within you
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*hands over handkerchief without even looking. *
(The handkerchief is still in the original packaging and Liv is wearing gloves).
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Dank gue berry buttch, Lib.
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Oh Glob! Isn’t that your friend @Tom_Ratchetcrank? That’s just terrible.
Foul play is not suspected in the demise.
Are the papers true? I could have sworn that poor fish fellow had quite a sticking.
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Indeed he was, and indeed he has. Passed quietly in his sleep. His deep, deep, not at all opiate induced sleep.
Perhaps if you have the time, now, you and I could stroll the promenade 'round the park. It’s times like these we must do our best to console one another.
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Indeed. I witnessed the lad within the confines of the Club proper, barb protruding, carelessly dripping blood on the floor.
He appeared to be in some small distress, so I refrained from making any comment on the mess. He seemed quite focused on his report to Commander Piker @fintastic, in any case, and I am quite surprised to learn of his passing.
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It was so globbin’ sudden. Like, any one of us could drop dead!
Glob, you always think of the best things @Tom_Ratchetcrank. A nice walk in the park is just what I need.
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[wipes up a small pool of blood with a fresh handkerchief, and surreptitiously seals it all in a bio-stasis bag]
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During this intermission, one should expect to recount the events that transpired when calling upon the recipient of your first letter as well as reminisce about the public details of your stroll through the Weatherby Botanical Gardens with the recipient of your second letter.
Laboratory Notes
Spring Season
Notebook L95-456.2
Section <3
Affairs of the Heart
Subject: Self
Much has transpired since last I made notes here on the experiment I call Affairs of the Heart. First off, my own heart was broken at the Governor’s Ball. My one true desire, Richard Fortsner Fastener Forterer rejected me in favor of Lord Hiyouronamoose Farnsworth @Wisconsin_Platt. Farnsworth is fine chap, comes from an old family of mercantile mooses, richer than Croesus, and a spectacular rack into the bargain. It’s difficult to stay jealous of such a fine fellow. However, I did take it rather ill at the time.
I over-imbibed toward the end of the Governor’s Ball and goodness knows what really happened in the deepest hours of that particular night. I awoke late the following day, and feeling like the dewey, warm insides of a lagoderm pellet, immediately joined the navy.
I had to have my secret little tattoo modified, but no ragerts. The Dragoons will be a distraction from my hearbreak, and will teach me something of military matters. Yes, I know I’m buying my way into the the chain of military command, but nonetheless Weatherby is served and so am I. Perhaps by close observation of more experienced military leaders @pogo @daneel I can gain skills which will serve me in my future endeavors without accidentally destroying my command.
After a period of reflection and a number of distractions including a duel and now apparently a ward’s murder, I have come to the decision to press on in affairs of the heart. Richard Forminster is truly lost to me, but other potential partners offer both greater wealth and social standing abound if true love is not to be had.
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Laboratory Notes
Spring Season
Notebook L95-456.3
Section <~~~4
Affairs of the Heart
Subject: Self
I sent a letter of affection to James Riptide and while he wasn’t exactly swept off his feet, I was rewarded with a warm return. We exchanged views on current events, floated a few ideas we were shore of, and the exchanged flowed tidally tidily. While James is not my heart’s desire, I do feel affection for him and find he would be a boon to my social standing.
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Laboratory Notes
Spring Season
Notebook L95-456.4
Section <º5
Affairs of the Heart
Subject: Self
Oh what surprises the gods taunt us with daily. I had danced a very pretty Quadrille with Oblate Sphagnum Sphenoid Spheroid at the Governor’s Ball and recently arranged to meet it at the Botanical Gardens for a walk and exchange of our hearts’ sentiments. I arrived in good time and found to my great surprise that Lady Jane @penguinchris also had the very same rendezvous planned. This was indeed awkward, however we pressed on, walking all together, both passing the time, and passing the object of our affections between us.
While some of the exchanges were a bit spirited…
…each made a good pitch and scored a few points toward the goal of our game.
And I think we all ended our stroll with at least as much respect and admiration for each other as we started with. Lady Jane has always been held in my highest esteem. Her procurement of the fishing reserves map all those many months ago has proven most valuable. Oblate Sphere’s perfectly rotated ellipsoid form is striking and its force of personality positively gravitational. While I do not love it as I once did Richard Fastener, I believe we would make a good match. And I also believe the rumors of its vast fortune - some 10,000 £ a year in clementine profits. That doesn’t hurt the cause either.
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The effect may have been slightly different on you, but Oblate Spheroid’s special geometry (N = 2,d = 4 supergravity and Calabi-Yau moduli space) seemed to allow us both their full attention. I believe we saw different sides of them, if you will. Whether that makes them two-faced, I couldn’t say.
Note that this is for illustration only; the pictured spheroid is not oblate
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"Just pull over up here, Drover. There at the roundabout, that will be close enough. I’ll walk the rest of the way."said Hieron from the phaeton.
“Oi, Guv’nor, you’ll be charged the same, it’s the app what charges you.” barked the carriageman as he pulled over.
“Yes, Yes. I’m well aware of Hüber’s methodology.”, quipped Hieron as he climbed down, pulled out his comm and gave the carriageman 5 horseshoes. “Have a credchit for your troubles.”
“You’re sure now, sir? It is getting dark, I’d hate for something untoward happen to such an upstanding Tee Cee.”
“Yes. Yes.”, Hieron waved his walking stick as if it were a sabre. “I’m no milk-sucking calf.”
The streetlights began to pop on as the carriage went away. Hieron walked over to the fountain that was punctuated the roundabout and sat on one of the benches to reflect upon his day.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Hieron nibbled at the toast and sipped his Whipweed tea as Pierre perepared his outfits.
“Monsieur?” Was your appointment book’s schedule accurate?" asked the elderly man from the doorway of the dressing room.
“Of course, Pierre. Trade Concern project at nine, Docks at half past ten, fishery before noon if time permits. Back to St. Marrowbone to change. Over to Miss Heliotrope’s by quarter of three.”
“Thank you, sir. I have your tweeds set out for this morning and your velvet set out for this afternoon. Please remember the walking stick. It is the objet d’été, so please do not go to your afternoon appointment without it.”
“Thank you, Pierre.”
-=-=-=-=-=-
The walls were going up on the Farnsworth Trade Concern. All in all, Hieron was well pleased with the progress. The location was good. Between Ten Path and Paddington, so a solid class of Pea Cees would find the location quite suitable. Was this what it would take to finally feel entranced with Weatherby? His name in marble above the doors of a building?
“Hmmph,” he snorted. "I should have insisted on H. Farnsworth Trade Concern.
“In the event I leave this place, I’d hate to think dear cousin (@Hadley) having to correct everyone - or not - as to which Farnsworth assumed the pioneering role”
Looking down the street at another building site, Hieron thought he recognized a friend and made his way down to see him
“Ahhh, Mr. Karekin (@David_Falkayn). I see you’re out inspecting this fine primary school of yours. Perhaps we should just build a tunnel between our two learning institutions? As they graduate from yours, they can be trained to be productive members of society. How’s @Eighth doing? I’ve not seen him around lately. But, then Rocco has been so busy, I’ve scarcely seen that bushy tail more than twice in a fortnight?”
“Ahh, yes, Eighth. I do believe the passing of Commander Fisher’s ensign troubled him more than I’d have expected.”
“True, True. Terrible thing. Dysentery, I read. Poor Bugger. He’d been a good influence on Rockford. Now that poor squirrel is throwing himself into my work. He’s borrowed the wagon from the warehouse several times recently to go check on my farming concern. Speaking of business I’ve got to make it down to the docks. Is there a cab stand near here?”
“Cab Stand? Oh, Hieron, how quaint. Have you not heard of Hüber? Get out your comm and go to the app market”
Hieron pulled on the chain and the circular comm device popped from his waistcoat pocket. The screen lit up and he proceeded as Karekin had suggested.
“Search on Haitch Ewe Bae Eee Arr. That’s it. What this app does it signal to a Hüber Driver just in the area that you are looking for a ride, once you’ve put in a location, one of these drivers will accept the request, show up and take you straight away. No Cab Stand required.”
“Hmm.” bemused Hieron, skeptically he typed in the required information. “So, it looks as if it sets up a tab and I just reconcile at the end of the month?”
“Well, yes, for Tea Cees.”
Hieron hit the “Hail” button and a few seconds later the scruffy mug of a Space Hound popped up on the screen. “Gregory McGruffin has accepted your Fare. He will arive within five minutes.”
As they continued small talk, four minutes later a Trap came up the street and pulled up along side them. A wiry terrier leapt down and placed a stool on the ground at the carriage door.
“Master Farnsworth? I’m your driver for this trip to the …uh… docks. Please sit down. I’ve got a thermos of Whipweed tea if you’d like some as well as some nice peppermint candies if it suits you.”
Hieron settled in and gave a raised eyebrow to Karekin. “Julius, I trust you will report my last whereabouts if I fail to make it to the club this eve’in.”
Karekin smiled and waved them off
-=-=-=-=-=-
All had been in order at ZepEx. Talk of New Prussia seemed to be the chief concern amongst the pilots. Hieron had been concerned at the thought of war and his bottom line as well, but best not to let the hired hands to know that. The warehouse was in order as well, but as he was leaving the foreman asked when Rockford was going to bring the wagon back he’d borrowed.
“Him and that @Tom_Ratchetcrank were through here three nights ago. Said they just needed to borrow the small wagon, but they’d have it back in the morning.”
“I believe he needed to journey out to the farm. I’m sure you misunderstood his return time.”
The foreman grimmaced but knew better than to argue with the Moose.
Hieron left and called up another Hüber. He’d need to set Rockford down and see what was going on. But that would wait, as would the Fishery. He had to return home to prepare for his afternoon appointment.
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The velvet suit shone in afternoon sun. The copper accents of his waist coat highlighted his freshly brushed coat as he knocked on Miss Heliotrope’s door. She opened the door and positively shimmered. They had exchanged a few letters and had chosen to go out for coffee tonight. He’d settled on a proper cab for this trip, unsure of what Hüber would show up. She was on the fourth floor of a quaint apartment building. As a Holograph the stairs would be of little concern. Except for whom they met on the second floor landing.
"Why, Alderperson Jean Rhys (@MrMonkey) " smiled Hieronymoose, “Whatever would bring you to this apartment building? Surely you aren’t looking for a new place?”
“No, Aldermoose Farnsworth.” Replied Jean-Rhys, icily. “I thought I was to meet someone here tonight, but apparently someone is mistaken.”
While he knew Jean-Rhys was talking to him, she glared at Lizzy. From the corner of his eye, he could see Lizzy flicker a bit as she began to emit at a shorter wavelength. For the time, Hieron decided to play innocent.
“Excuse me for my rudeness, Jean-Rhys, Lizzy Heliotrope, Lizzy, this is my fellow Alder Sentient Jean-Rhys Witherspoon Wilhelmina Winnifred Rodchase”
Lizzy’s voice was pitched a tad higher than normal, “Yes. We’ve met. At the Governors ball. We danced the Quadrille.”
“My goodness.” Exclaimed Hieron. "Yes. You. Did. Imagine the coincidence of you living in the same building as whomever Jean-Rhys had come to pay a call to. Small worlds they say.
“Good afternoon, Alderperson. Lizzy and I were just off for a spot of “High Coffee” the papers are calling it. Until we meet again. Farewell”
With that, Hieronymoose and Lizzy moved past Jean-Rhys and out to the hansom waiting out front.
While Hieron held the door for Lizzy, he finally broke a smile at the events that had just transpired.
The cab pulled away from the curb and Lizzy began to stammer something about mixed up dates.
“Pish, posh, dear Lizzy. I have no hold over whom you may know and converse with. But to see her face was worth the world.”
“Pay no more mind to her. Let us talk more of New Halogen where you came from…”
-=-=-=-=-=-
“High Coffee” had been enjoyable. Hieron Tried the flat white, while Lizzy absorbed the electrolytes from a fine ground mixture of coffee and lithium. After nearly two hours, they left the shop full of mirth and Lizzy practically begged Hieron to call a Hüber so she could say she’d taken a ride in one.
Hieron hit the Hail and this time a human named Jeb responded. The Chaise that showed up had recently been waxed and shone in evening sun. The driver was polite and offered an array of lemon tarts, obviously unaccustomed to the traveling needs of a Holograph, but Hieron took one out of politeness. The trip back seemed too short as Hieron and Lizzy arrived back at her apartment. He offered to walk her up, but she declined.
Gathering his bearings, Hieron thought the Levithan was just a few streets over and began to walk. Passing by an alleyway, he almost thought he’d seen @Rockford_Julius, but probably just some other Squirrel as he ducked around a corner as soon as Hieron could wave to him.
After thee third block he thought he might have been going the wrong direction. By the forth block he was sure of it.
“Bugger it.” Hieron grumbled, pulled out his comm and hit the nav button. Shaking his head he had not realized how far out of the way he had gone. "At this point, he thumbed over and hit Hail one more time. A sleek, Phaeton showed up just over ten minutes later.
“Sorry, Guv’nor. I’d just sat down to some tucker when I saw your hail. I was certain some other bloke would have answered before me.”
Hieron paid little mind as he climbed in.
“Was that the Levithan than?”
“No. I’ve changed my mind. Take me back to St. Marrowbone, the day has been long.”
The ride was swift as the roads had cleared out largely. Suddenly regaining his bearings, Hieron realized they’d be going by Brummel’s new park. At the roundabout, Hieron asked the driver to pull over.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The moon was rising. Had he felt more inclined he’d have walked through the park to the lake and taken in the view. Perhaps, if Richard would deign to walk with him, they would stroll through Brummel’s Botanical Boulevard in the evening to take in the sites. What had he said to have put him so far off. The ball had gone splendidly, but the correspondence had faltered. He’d played this scenario out in his mind too many times. Shaking his head, he began the walk home. This was a route he knew.
Up two blocks and the Weatherby Free Public Library rose from what had been a farm that the city had grown around. It was an open secret Jean-Rhys had put up the largest sum for the library but her principles would never have her adorning the facade of the grand building with her name. He smirked again at the day’s earlier encounter.
Hieron kept walking and turned down the street that would lead to the St. Marrowbone neighborhood. So lost in his thoughts, he was startled back to the here and now as he walked past an alley and a commotion occured.
A large, bipedal being stood up from whatever he was doing. Looked to see Hieron and then charged at him. A blade held in one hand and rage in his eyes. At the last moment, Hieron remembered his walking stick and managed to deflect the blade from its target and only have it graze him across arm.
The brute kept charging though and bowled over the moose. Hieron landed without dignity on the ground, but whatever that was kept running. Hearing a faint groan from the alleyway, Hieron crawled over to see the prone body of a young lizard, bleeding profusely.
Pulling out his comm, he dialed 0118 999 881 999119 725 3.
“Emergency Services. Please state the nature of your Emergency”
“This is Hieronymoose Farnsworth the Third. I’d like to report an assault and possibly, a murder.”
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“So, how’s everybody’s assignments coming along?”
Various murmurs of varying degrees of enthusiasm go up in the room. It’s heartening how everyone seems to be taking everything in stride. There might be war with New Prussia yet, but the average person’s going to be remained informed on that and any of the other issues of the day, thanks to this crew. Sabres rattle, but it’s just another story in the cycle.
"I can’t get a comment on why they went with the ‘Free Public Library’. " Skrissh frowns, tapping on her keyboard. “Or anything about the big donor.”
“A reminder of who it’s for and what it should cost them,” Liv tells her. “As for the donor, fame is fleeting, and it should be about the deed, not the doer.” In a generation or two, no one will remember who the Farnsworth in the Farnsworth Trade Concern is, or the Brummel of the Gardens. It’ll just be part of the name. And if the only reason to support something is to put your name on the side… well, that’s what Liv would definitely term as an edifice complex. But he made sure that by charter the Library will always be free to access and borrow from, and open to the Public. All of the public.
It’s not his fault certain egomaniacs can’t recognise a great big middle finger to the establishment when they walk past it.
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Oh dear cousin @Wisconsin_Platt. I’m so glad I caught you at home. I do so need someone to talk to. And I’m so pleased that we now have a trade school with our family name. It was a way wonderful thing for you to do for our family.
But I am so vexed as to which suitor to pursue. After my correspondence with Henry Argyle I finally paid him a visit. He was very polite and quite well educated. He Used lots of but g words I didn’t even understand. So that was quite impressive. When I mentioned that I liked his socks he took me on a tour of all the socks in his collection, which was I must say is a very extensive collection. But then he started making fun of my newspaper and implied that he believes any business endeavors to be a lesser pursuit. I feel very proud of the results of my business pursuits and I am not sure I should pursue a gentleman who doesn’t respect my work, despite how alluring his socks are.
On the way out of his neighborhood I caught a glance of @Tom_Ratchetcrank sauntering through a back alley with an extremely large box. Now that young man can really take your breath away but alas I know grandmother would never approve so I pretended not to see him and walked the other way.
The next day @Qaaxtzl came by to escort me on a walk through the park. I was quite excited. I mean even his name is sexy. We had a lovely walk. He is a wonderful conversationalist. We spoke about science, business and the arts. Then he asked for me to wait for him on a bench while he went to use the powder room. He was gone for a full 45 minutes and was extremely sweaty when he returned. Then he quickly escorted me home. Perhaps he was simply suffering from extreme constipation. I don’t know if grandmother would consider him a proper match. But I think if I don’t make a decisive move soon I may find my marriage options dwindling. What do you think?
Heiron?
Why you look quite pale?
What is the matter?
Did you even hear a word of what I just said?
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The Rothschild carriage pauses at the Gardens, and Jules Karekin alights. A footman brushes Mr. Karekin’s jacket and gives a nod of approval. Jules pulls himself to his full, if modest, height and looks towards the Palm Tree where he immediately sees Johann Wentworth, dressed as if he was already a True Citizen.
“Johann, I am so glad you could be here today”
“A Citizen-Pretender could hardly refuse such an invitation from a True Citizen, Mr Karekin”
“Jules. Please call me Jules. Friends always do. and I hope more than just social obligation brought you here today.”
“Well now, that would be telling. Jules.”
The two exchange a mischievous glance.
"Johann, have you heard the 11-string guitar sensation will be here in the fall? "
“Goran is coming to Weatherby? We get more cultured by the day!”
“yes, I hope to have him strum a few notes at our modest pied-a-terre in Whipweed Place. You simply must come by”
“I’d be delighted. But weightier matters demand our attention. A constipated space lizard as Ambassador to New Prussia? How can that mean anything other than war? War means change, and change means opportunity. No one understands that better than a Rothschild.”
“True, Johann, but I hope for peace yet. Peace builds wealth, while war only shatters it. Sure, some are faster at picking the pieces than others, but that is not the way to long term wealth. Exponential growth built on mutual cooperation is, and that requires stability.”
“Are you saying that the Rothschild-Landuau’s won’t make money on this war?”
"oh, we have so many interests, some branch of the corporate person will turn a profit. But if we could, we’d stop this nonsense. Build a sandfishery right, it creates wealth for generations. Build a bomb right, and all you’ve got is rubble. "
“I am deeply worried about my piece, Johann. I have done well here, but a fairly modest New Prussian blockade, for example, would bring it all down. Alas, I fear many of my fellow Tea-Cees have not taken the Prussian threat seriously and our forces are dreadfully under-prepared.”
“It’s not just the TCs. While war in the abstract is diverting, I sense little stomach amongst my fellow See-Peas for an actual fight. We know who will do most of the dying while you Tea-Cees play your mutli-dimensional chess games.”
“What do you think of our leadership?”
“There are some fine souls leading the ranks, but are FItzroy Somerset and the Earl of Cardigan the best we can do? Also, the state of kit varies strongly by unit. The old hands who have seen real war seem to be making sure their units are properly outfitted and trained, but so many seem to be more interested in preening for the Weatherby Space Times than doing the tedious work of preparing for battle.”
“Yes, Johann, as if any would trust WST reporting at this point… I really must get better information from the front…”
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Commander’s Log
Starfishdate 0832423.17
I was surprised at the sudden taciturn nature that Admiral Riptide put on display at the gardens. I had thought that he would have been pleased with my prompt assignment as UFOS Attache to the Dragoons, as he requested. However, he was actively disinterested in the search for Sentient Sandfish, and seemed quite preoccupied. Perhaps the threat of Weatherby at War weighs upon him, as he went on at length about the new commissions, particularly one so enthused about their newfound passion for The Navy that they got a new tattoo.
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