I hope never to be put in that position again, but I’ll keep that in mind. Maybe I should approach it like the prep solution for a colonoscopy, and just toss it back as quickly as possible.
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Good message, but should it be in big neon letters right by the window?
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Dang, you sussed it. We’re actually meeting…in the rundown shell of a house right next door!
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Eliot Spitzer once gave some good advice for politicians which applies to all in this timeline:
Never write when you can talk. Never talk when you can nod. And never put anything in an e-mail.
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Right? Especially your lunch. So hard to get it back out again.
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In Austin, that rundown shell of a house would be on the market for about $500K.
Thank goodness we’re meeting in a rundown shell of a house in an economically less desirable area!
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Focusing on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s many amazing accomplishments this week.
All week.
What an invitation to turn my back on negativity, and recommit to the sacred work Dr. King and so many of his allies brought to our attention.
(depaywalled: https://archive.ph/rzaMi )
Dr. King, you are missed.
Crank up the volume and dance, if you can.
Or cry along like I do, in the car.
In a good way.
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This advice is evergreen. Stumbled on the vid today, and felt it needed sharing.
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Thank you for that. Crude and to the point.
Someone helpfully wrote out the script:
cop: (pulls you over)
you: why’d you pull me over?
cop: (keeps asking questions)
you: not discussing my day.
cop: (asks more questions)
you: am i free to go or am i being detained?
cop: (detains you)
you: I invoke the fifth
you: (shut the fuck up)
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The first time I remember getting this advice was from my high school social studies teacher in grade 11. He said it more politely, but it amounted to the same thing. He was a calm polite guy, but he got downright passionate about this one: “When they say ‘anything you say can be held against you’, they’re not kidding. They mean exactly that: Anything. You. Say. Can be used against you. Anything. So don’t say anything.”
edit: tyop
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Qu’on me donne six lignes écrites de la main du plus honnête homme, j’y trouverai de quoi le faire pendre.
If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him.
— Cardinal Richelieu
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That’s good advice for any interaction with the police, even if they pulled you over for speeding. Or a broken tail light. Or anything. I would add one:
cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
you: No.
Even if you think you know, say no. You aren’t lying. You don’t know for sure why they pulled you over. It might not be for speeding, even if you were speeding. So just say no. They are trying to get you to admit to something. Do not do their job for them. I wouldn’t even ask them why they pulled you over. Depending on the department, they may not even be required to tell you.
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Weird thing that just happened. My daughter came in to ask to see her (xer?) passport to see what it said. Because she had officially changed to, not miss or mister, but mix (Mx).
Which is totally fine with me. But she’s (xe’s?) afraid that with the new administration she’ll be singled out and in danger for not adhering to conservative gender norms.
I tried to set her easy that we’re in Vermont, and that is just not a worry here. But it’s awkward and weird. And I don’t want my kid to fear for their life just over some trivial nonsense like what pronoun they chose.
I really don’t know how to respond. I don’t even know what pronouns to use when talking about it. All I can think of is to say that we’re in plenty of good company, and nobody’s gonna bother fighting a state full of weirdos like us. If they did, it’d probably be about who gets to see the leaves change color or who gets the maple syrup. And based on history, it probably wouldn’t go well for them.
But still, it’s unsettling.
How do you tell your kid “This’ll be fine.” when you don’t know that it will?
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I’m sorry. I wish I had answers or suggestions, and I do think some of us here will. I just hope it helps a bit to hear a bit of support. You sound like an awesome parent.
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Good questions. Maybe they also belong here:
https://bbs.elsewhere.cafe/t/our-children-and-their-troubles/5290
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Dad to trans daughter deep into transition here, scared shitless of what is coming for us. Our rules are pretty simple. 1) Don’t lie to her, ever. 2) Don’t overdramatize either. Be factual and real. 3) Be supportive even when you can’t really understand what she’s going through, which, honestly, is most of the time. 4) (and this is specific to us) My family is from WV. Hard driven into us is that you fuck with my family, you fuck with us all. And we are pretty damned privileged in most areas. Unlike many, she knows she has our full support and i know i have the full support of my whole clan. That’s all I’ve got. Honesty and support, and know that times are coming when that might be tested, so give some thought to how to react.
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Wasn’t one of his first executive orders to claim ‘there are only two genders’? Who knows how the courts will rule, these days? I’d say your child is asking a very important question, and the answer is unknowable.
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