We all have limited emotional resources to draw from and it sounds like you’ve been depleting those resources for a very long time.
You are doing something very important; you are caring for someone who cannot care for themselves,and I know that’s often a thankless and exhausting task.
Even the strongest people can only give so much, and not everyone will have the strength, the time, the energy to participate full bore in this fight. I’m in Canada, and for the most part, I can only sit on the sidelines and cheer on others’ efforts and give moral support.
One thing I learned in lockdown, is that community is not just our physical communities, it’s the online communities that supported us when we were so isolated at that time. What a gift to be able to talk to people from all over the world and give words of comfort when needed. I haven’t been part of this community for very long, outside of TOP, but I think that the people here care for each other and want to support each other as best we can. I think that people here care about you.
Self harm is always a concern, but even if that is off the table, your distress is not unimportant.You matter. I hope you can give yourself some credit, and slack. Depression and anxiety are terrible things, and j9c has mentioned getting outside, and I’d also say, talk to your doctor about medication, if you haven’t already. I’m on a low dose of cipralex for anxiety and it’s made an enormous difference. It’s also prescribed for depression. It won’t change your actual situation, but it may help to change your outlook.
I don’t believe that. Nobody voted for Mr. Musk and he does not have a position in any official department or body of the American government. A foreigner meddling in the country’s internal affairs is inconceivable. No American president would allow this.