Time to Name Names

Joy
83

I just referred to the kid as Chunktown FatParty, after he drained a bottle, spit up, and laughed like Jabba the Hutt.

We might need a name.

9 Likes
84

Baby McBabyface?

4 Likes
85

Nah, that might get outdated. Human McHumanface.

6 Likes
86

In her first 3 months on this green earth, my daughter earned the sobriquet “Grunty McSquirtypants” for reasons that should be obvious.

6 Likes
87

Homunculus von Baby Mensch, with the “Baby” being droppable later?

7 Likes
88

Shouldn’t it be Homunculus von Kindermenschgesicht? And drop the “Kinder” later?

4 Likes
89

My sister and brother-in-law both go by variations on their middle names, by coincidence. As a toddler, my sister had a very interesting chosen name, that I won’t mention. But, she was adamant, and everyone called her that special name, including her preschool teacher. People gave my mother weird looks, like how could you name your child that weirdo hippy dippy name?!? But, of course her given name is kind of stodgy and old fashioned.

Before kindergarten, my folks talked her into choosing a new name because the weird one wasn’t the best “for big girl school” even though she could go by her chosen name at home. At five she picked a beautiful variation that she has gone by ever since. It really is a pretty name, but I’m not gonna doxx my sister.

Anyway, all that to say, both of their kids have about a billion nicknames. Some make sense, some are variations on variations, and only make sense within their nuclear family. That family has a special name, an acronym made of her last name and his last name, and it’s kind of wild, but only for use in the family.

They picked great names for their kids, knowing what it’s like to be given a name you dislike. The rest of the world uses the nice names, but at home, it’s everything else.

9 Likes
90

Oh my stars! I go away for a few days to focus on other pressing matters, and return to find the topic in disarray and given over to frivolity. I can only imagine the desperation of @infundibulum and family as young [placeholder] approaches his first words, and yet has no name to call himself. I hope you other readers are as embarrassed as I am. I take full responsibility, while noting that this is in no way my fault.

I hear this as a cry for help. Let me assure you, @infundibulum, we will not fail you again.

I have no option but to take charge and invoke the right of every free citizen of the Cafe to conduct a poll. Of course, I will recuse myself from the competition, so regrettably “Skylon” will no longer be in the running.

With so many excellent suggestions, and the naming committee seemingly moribund, I found it impossible to stick to the original concept of a short list of five names, so the choices, selected by an impartial coin/dice algorithm of my own devising, are as follows.

0 voters

The poll will remain open until September 21, 2018 at 11:59pm EST. As explained previously, if @infundibulum exercises her right to veto the high scorer, the runner-up will become our newest member’s official name.

6 Likes
91

Just a reminder for the procrastinators. If you can’t be bothered to vote, don’t come whining to me afterwards.

4 Likes
92

That’s right. This here’s a permanent record. None of us want li’l Infantibulum growing up into a rage-filled Adolescentibulum and taking it out on us because we failed the li’l booger at such a tender, impressionable age.

We’ve all heard the song, right?

10 Likes
93

The people have spoken, and the people are never wrong. Kudos to @Daveb for his excellent suggestion. N/A is a name of nearly limitless potential.

I invite all mutants of the cafe to join me in welcoming young N/A Infundibulum to our community. We shall watch his career with great interest.

10 Likes