With A Little Help From My Friends

I want to take a moment to highlight a couple of our community members who could use some help.

If you have the means to help financially, please do. If you have the ability to share these on other social channels and put these in front of more people, that will surely help as well.


Oh, fuck.


You must have missed this? Tobin actually died in November last year, I think. Correction: October 9 last year.

Edit: corrected date of Tobin’s death.


I shared the link for Tobin on Facebook.


I really had no idea. Now I feel even worse that I didn’t know.


No one(?) reads all of the threads, or is caught up on them all of the time. One of the reasons I wanted to create this thread and pin it for a time was to help make people aware of these situations in case they didn’t find out about them in their original context.


Very well-put.


Thank you for creating this thread. I hope we can make a difference.


Thank you. Times are rough, this is true. I tell people spreading the word is more powerful and a better alternative to going deeper in the red, and it is true: Fundraisers shared on social networks raise up to 5x more. DB the GoFundMe operator told me yesterday 60 people had contributed.

If it were not for the coronavirus shutting the border, Tobin would have had cross-border medical transport for treatment in the US. To be honest, the treatment he had April to August 2020 extended his lifespan for a month or two.

people have been tremendous showing love in meaningful and manageable ways:

  • dropping by with holiday meal and goodies (you know who you are :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:)
  • rescuing our possessions in a US storage locker from confiscation and auction, and storing them
  • donating Amazon gift cards for comfort items for Tobin
  • sending condolences to my son and to me
  • demonstrating willingness to extend friendship to me
  • sending flowers
  • praying a novena or religious equivalent according to their faith for Tobin (Tobin wasn’t religious, but my friends who are in the habit of praying don’t mind)
  • buying things I can’t order by curbside pickup
  • offering portraits
  • donating to pancreatic cancer agencies
  • sending cards, writing letters
  • decorating the flat with Christmas tree and ornaments
  • giving me beautiful books on coping with grief
  • locally, inviting me out excursions in parks, neighbourhoods, seawalls, and mountains
  • offering me phone numbers if I needed/wanted to talk

We can’t possibly know that our neighbour, coworker, cousin, parent, child, partner knows somebody who knows somebody who can help financially and we definitely wouldn’t know without circulating. We will likely lose someone special to cancer though, even if they’re lucky enough to withstand and survive this pandemic.


Someone with a Reddit account could post on https;//reddit.com/r/gofundme
Lucy’s a good writer, she could provide detailed text for her situation: the subReddit requires more than a link


I’d prefer that my son’s text be used, as he is the one who started this.

“Since late 2018 I and my mother have been having financial difficulties and at present this is the worse it’s been so far. Funds used will pay off the tax debt and we need them before March 31st of 2021, I’m not entirely sure if the goal will be met by then or not. This house belonged to my grandparents and it’s my childhood home and I would be eternally grateful to keep this property in my family.”

I’m not sure if I should add anything about our disabilities and our difficulties in finding employment. I don’t want to go on and on and be TL;DR.

Addendum: So I made a video to go with it. Please share far and wide!


Giving this a bump because people may have just gotten stimulus checks and have a little to share with our friends here.


We are so fortunate to have been here rent free for so long. No ads. No fees. This has been a delicious gift. I am grateful to @LockeCJ for making this space available to us.

He has never asked us to contribute towards the upkeep here, but has brought these two fundraisers to our attention.

It seems to me that one way to show appreciation for this gift is to support these two long time members whose fundraisers he chose to promote.


I would much prefer any money to be spent helping others than on covering the expenses of running this site. I’m happy to cover that.


@LockeCJ, you’re a gem.


Soooo weird - I’m watching “Maude” season 5, and the interaction between Bea and Rue is amazing.

And you’re adorable.