I was also molested and sexually assaulted, and I also drank heavily from my early teens to my early twenties, and I’m also clinically depressed. But guess what? I have never raped anybody, I have never sexually assaulted anyone, and I have never sexually harassed anybody. This loser should stop blaming everybody but himself for the problems he is creating.
17 Likes
I’m sorry to hear that. How terrible.
7 Likes
I would love that… he won’t though.
9 Likes
Yeah and no mechanism to make it happen.
4 Likes
I’m sorry to hear about your experience.
Although it’s long been known that most people who were sexually harmed don’t go on to perpetuate that behavior, the people who do molest others were often molested themselves. If someone is in that situation, then they do need to explore the roots of their behavior. And also look into ways to control their behavior, whether or not they understand the roots of it.
I appreciate that he is at least being open about his wrongdoings and exploring why he might be acting that way.
As a child of an alcoholic, I’ve seen a lot of this kind of “insight” that doesn’t lead to much change, so, like you, I am skeptical.
10 Likes
Tavis Smiley denies it all and thinks he’s the real victim.
7 Likes
Can’t he be impeached? Of course that will never happen either.
4 Likes
Let’s ask The Google.
11 Likes
I’ve been following this one, sadly, because he’s a big yoga person and has inspired a lot of black people to get started with their yoga practice.
8 Likes
Yes. The process is exactly the same as it is to impeach the president (impeached by the House, convicted by the Senate.) The problem, of course, is that with your current administration, what you get as a replacement will be worse, and quite likely much younger, which is worse than worse, and for longer.
7 Likes
Before last November I would have said that was impossible, but now . . . .
3 Likes
3 Likes
To all those tempted to distinguish harrassment and assault by degree, read this thread:
ETA summary tagged for graphic injury depiction
9 Likes
And now Rupert fucking Murdoch has dismissed the claims against Ailes et al as “nonsense”, “flirting”. Fucking outdated dinosaur. Needs to die in a fire.
7 Likes
Good article pointing out harassment starts in middle school:
“When adults do step in, it’s often to rebrand a snapped bra or yanked bathing suit as flirtation, a thing a girl might even be encouraged to feel grateful for (“He’s doing that because he likes you!”). As the lines blur between play and aggression, and desire and coercion, perpetrators progress in learning how to carry out harassment ― and victims learn to be silent.”
14 Likes
And the training starts even younger (especially for girls) as the article notes. I had to hug a lot of relatives that I didn’t want to, and to this day I don’t know how to refuse a hug. It’s deeply ingrained that I am being unfriendly or even cold if I just say “no thank you”. And that’s not even dealing with creepy relatives. I can only imagine the horror for kids who are forced to hug those.
16 Likes
8 Likes
I have been teaching my daughter since she was a baby to be able to say No, and the skills to stand up for herself. I could not be more proud of her. Adults, particularly adults in my family, are really confused by her unwillingness to go along with them, to speak to them as if they are her equals instead of her elders. And sometimes that’s uncomfortable for me, but it’s also great to see her not diminishing herself.
One day I’ll write up all the ways I accomplished it, but it started very simply with me refusing to punish or control her, and instead to teach her the emotional skills to calm herself down when she was angry or frustrated, and to read her own emotions instead of being vigilant of other people’s emotional states.
14 Likes
#metoo
A few years ago I went to a Xmas party held by some in-laws, and a lot of people wanted to hug me and give me a kiss on the cheek, even though they’d never met me before.
Having grown up with it, it doesn’t bug me too much so long as the pertain isn’t creepy, but the thing was: I was super sick. My bones felt like they were made of slime. (Why was I at the damn party instead of being properly home in bed? Faaaaaaammmmmmily…)
So when people swooped in for the peck on the cheek, I would explain I was sick and that perhaps they shouldn’t do that. Most of them got offended. Not majorly offended, but now apparently I have a reputation for being unfriendly.
My nieces get prompted to hug me, but if they don’t do it right away I always say they don’t have to. Etiquette and coercion are two different things.
16 Likes
Good on you!
Fucking A.
After reading all the ladies’ recent comments I checked in with my own kiddo just to be sure; she cant relate, because I’ve never allowed her to be pressured into accepting any attention or physical interaction that made her uncomfortable.
17 Likes