You know, in my field, the conventional wisdom is that women need 30% more papers than a man to be judged as equal. But you also have to be like 80% tougher. You have to work so hard to do more, while people throw shit on you for thinking you can do it.
Is it any wonder women leave? I struggle with mentorship for this reason. I’m doing what I can to improve the culture of science. I’m happy in my job. But it is really hard to communicate the mountain of shit you have to climb to get to the top. I never really know when to talk about discrimination with my students.
I’m noticing this where I work too (IT). We actually have a lot of managers who are women, but of course being a manager is not the only way to be an authority.
And what I find is: women make sure the meetings get booked (sometimes men too, but of course we’re taking an average here). Women notice the meeting’s in the middle of the afternoon slump and bring cookies. Women make sure the meeting minutes stay organised and get circulated. Women back up the other women if the usual one who co-ordinates all this stuff can’t make it. And so on.
I’m on like 4 committees, trying to show the leadership skills I already know I have from previous jobs exist, and men who just show up are getting promoted. And then everyone clucks about how I’ve been sick lately and “can’t handle the stress” and it’s like, hello, how many people am I unofficially supporting and yet still doing my job and taking courses at night?
Well, here’s a weird problem: I made a contribution to a website on better accommodating nursing mothers at workshops. The person who approved & posted my changes to the website is the person who denied me nursing accommodations at a workshop a couple years back, ultimately resulting in me getting sick and having to quit nursing way early. I didn’t know he was involved. I’m hurt, betrayed and sort of want to ask for my contribution to be scrubbed.
I’m also worried about looking like a petty asshole. There’s no winning this one.
It is possible. I do think he felt bad. I mean, he’s a human, not a monster.
But he’s also aware that I’m still in therapy for some pathologies (mental and physical) related to the situation, and he really ought to have known better than to force an interaction with me. It’s a real shit sandwich, since he’s married to the head of an organization I work with pretty frequently, and seems to think it’s basically OK to use that organization to try to be friends when I’ve been clear that I’m not ready for it, and maybe never will be.
… I don’t know what’s going on, and I haven’t seen the video, but deciding someone is dishonest because they avoid eye contact is like deciding someone is dishonest because they have another religion, or they write with their left hand, or based on physiognomy or phrenology or a gap between their 1st and 2nd toes.
As far as I can research, Tony Robbins does not have Autism or any sort of condition that would induce him to avoid eye contact. From what I’ve seen in the media over a couple of decades is that he is quite skilled at eye contact, and uses it well. He’s a skilled salesman, after all.
I’m not saying he’s an asshole on purpose, I’'m only saying this appears to me that he’s been caught making assumptions and confronted in the middle of a seminar, which I think does not happen very often, if at all. To me, he appears to be on the defensive with his offense.
The ERA passed in the Illinois House TODAY; now it has to go to the State Senate. If it passes, that means we’re at 37 out of the required minimum of 38 states.
I’m so excited about this. My sister in law did her thesis on the ERA and I guess it’s not just as easy as 2 other states ratifying. At this point congress also needs to pass a concession that they will allow these votes to hold as they are after the deadline for ratification.